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Fwoosh Week in Review – 8/9/09

Like Godzilla with Dysentary, fwoosh was caught up in a raging mudslide of Brown Lantern fever.

Oh yeah. Classiest sentence ever.

Millions of avatars were infected with the virulent strains (heh…strain) of Brown Lanternism. (Actual numbers may vary.) I’m guessing Ebonhorn can be blamed for spreading this sh….tuff around. More and more fwooshers began to catch the brown wave and surf their way into the sewer. Due to this overwhelming influx of new recruits to the Brown Lantern Oath, productivity in much of the free world ground to a hault. Which was met with a collective “meh”. Dem’s da breaks.

Meanwhile, in The Microverse:

Frustrated and impatient Fwooshers who wanted results to Hasbro’s poll wherein we, the toy collecting community, picked three figures from their SDCC showing. Hasbro maintained company policy by not releasing the results on time. I’m pretty sure the pointy haired boss from Dilbert works for Hasbro.

Calm down Hasbro Apologists Worldwide (otherwise known as HAW!), Toybiz screwed up routinely also. Remember that time they blah blah and yadda yadda? I thought so!

Making the only sense on the thread, Maxim expressed his sentiments about the supposed debacle:

Meh, I would have been more surprised if they were posted on time.

to which Fellow fwoosher The Solution imagined the scenario in which the results were on time:

Fanboy #1: “Can you believe Hasbro? They didn’t even bother to take their time to make sure the votes were
legitimate”
Fanboy #2: “Never mind that, can you believe that ‘Bagman’ is one of the top three…obviously they needed more time for people to vote so this miscarriage of plastic would never come into existance…”
Fanboy #3: “Back when Toy Biz had the license, time never a factor…we always got good figures on time…”
Fanboy #4: “What are you talking about, Toy Biz had delays all the time…and they had their foul-ups too…”
Fanboy #5: “I knew Hasbro would be on time…they never let us down!
Fanboy #6: “Marvel Legends are dead”
Fanboy #7: “Why is everyone so bitter about the announcement being on time? Seems to me you guys should be happy it was on time and quit your crying. Some people are never satisfied”
Fanboy #8: “That’s what she said”

Speaking of That’s what she said, LadyFwoosher LittleMissVixen stated quite plainly and frankly the words that everyone secretly knew:

Hasbro hates you.

That means you. And you. And especially you…take that out of your nose!

With fingers crossed, Snowglare hoped that:

Maybe they’re delaying to announce that, like in the MU poll, they’re making more than the winners, like the top five. Eh? Eh?

In response to this, Spider-Man alter-ego and character choice so silly even I can’t get behind it Paper Bag-Man said:

I’ve still got a shot!

The Multiverse:

In unprecedented news that has no precedent and is preceded by nothing ever…it’s possible that Black Canary has no side to side motion in her legs. Note I said possible. A team of experts is now working on cracking the mystery of the legs to ascertain whether or not this is true. Would Mattel do something so dumb? Would a vital POA be removed on an action figure to ensure that the fishnets didn’t impede movement? Is there some way I can work the term “getting a leg up on the competition” into this paragraph?

No. No there isn’t.

Ollie Queen issued a statement to the press claiming that “if true, Mattel’s a bunch of pinko fascists”.

Oh, the above statement does in fact mean that wave 9 has started showing up. And as I am happy to tell anyone who will listen, I have no wave 8. You bastards. You…bastards.

Also, the Gotham City 5 pack consisting of Superman, Batman, Two Face, Catwoman and Purple Suit Lex has also began showing up. Many only want the Lex, and don’t want to fork over the extra money for what is basically 4 repaint figures.

Which is just how Lex planned it.

In the Expanded Universe:

Moss Man’s in flocking trouble. The flocking fur flocks up his articulation points, which means we get two flocking choices: partial flocking or no flocking at all. While many fwooshers would be happy to be partially flocked instead of not flocked at all, some would rather Moss Man be flocked until he can’t move. This flocking dilemma has created a flocking rift in some flocking fans. The flockers in charge of the flocking toys now have a challenge to come up with an agreeable flocking solution, and not flock up Moss Man too much.

The Multiplex:

GI Joe: Rise of Cobra, starring this guy, that guy, some girl, another girl and some other people finally hit theaters. Some Fwooshers thought it was abysmal, some liked it for what it was. Personally when I first heard the term “Accelerator suits” I turned the channel. And I wasn’t even near a TV at the time.

And…that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Or something

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1 thought on “Fwoosh Week in Review – 8/9/09

  1. Well fantastic, my image has been smeared in front of the entire world. I hold to it’s being samuron’s fault for forcing me into being a brown lantern.

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