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Fwoosh Week in Review – 8/4/9

As the energy, emotion and hyperbole of SDCC wound down, fwooshers digested the massive amounts of information in true fwooshian style.

But overshadowing everything was the unveiling of GLEEK WEEK. Fwoosh staff attending SDCC were handed a number of Gleeks which were then raffled off to lucky fwooshers bereft of monkey lovin’. Suddenly the cries of “No Monkey No Money” were deafened by the united sound of a thousand prayers to the Toy Gods.

President Barack Obama was heard to remark:

I like winning the presidency and everything, but I really hope I win a Gleek. Yes I can!

Unfortunately, President Obama was informed minutes later he was not a member of Fwoosh. He promptly ordered an airstrike on Fwoosh headquarters. Luckily nobody was there at the time, however a pack of toaster Strudels left behind by RoboKillah did not make it out in time.

This overwhelming proof that Fwoosh is the coolest site on the interwebs was met with hostility from other sites. Yeah, I know. That never happens on the internet, where toys are serious business. Furthermore, I was surprised as hell there were other sites also. Who knew?

The cries of elation from lucky fwooshers began immediately, only dampened by the broken hearts of those whose names were not picked, whose tears fell upon the thread like pee from a monkey. Yeah, that was the best I could do there.

In desperation to be picked for anything at all, Fwooshers began selling themselves at a fevered pace:

Exuberant fwoosher MARVEL KNIGHT 2099 said:

You wanna make out, TSR?

Hot.

Capitalized fwoosher Grimace404 began slowly going insane for a good Gleeking. And who among us hasn’t?

*kicks rock*
*Sad face*
*Still chanting to himself quietly, while sitting in a yoga pose surrounded by scented candles*
*graciously tips hat*
*goes back to chanting*
*glances at empty pm box*
*kicks puppy*
*tries to feign a smile*
*walks away grumbling something about the Pythagorean theorem*

THIS IS YOUR MIND ON GLEEK…OR WITHOUT IT!!

Elsewhere, in The Microverse:

The Nemesis wave–that yeti of toy waves–is finally showing up, eliciting mixed reactions from fwooshers able to see them in person for the first time. With plenty of time to fix them before release, they suffer from the worst of Hasbroesque problems, and pale in comparison to what the company is truly capable of if they try.

The MU Secret Wars two packs also began showing up, bringing the first member of the long awaited and rather idiotically ignored Wrecking Crew to collectors at last. Cap has no straps, some think it’s a slap, but he may get a bad rap, since the shield does at least snap…on. I’m sorry.

in The Multiverse:

After a guessing game started by lowercase “I’m not TSR” fwoosher trs that made “Where’s Waldo” Seem like hiding a steak from a blind man (what?) The lineup for wave 12 of DCUC was finally revealed in a non-official-who-knows-if-it’s-right-or-wrong-for-sure-until-it’s-made-official-by-somebody-this-is-a-lot-of-hyphens and is the following, confirmed by supposed retail lists. Allegedly. I’m just covering my bases here, folks. Probably:

Desaad
Spectre (glow in the dark variant)
Iron
Mary Marvel (red and white, 50:50 split)
Copperhead
Eclipso
Dr. MidNite

C&C Darkseid

This means a member of the Metal Men makes his first appearance, a new JSA member, another member of the Marvel family, and an unnecessary C&C figure. But it’s still a fun list. If you don’t agree you may be declared legally dead in some parts of the world.

In the Macroverse:

We learned that future NECA TMNT figures are on a case by case basis. First up, April. Choruses of “we want a fricking Shredder” temporarily shut down traffic in Poughkeepsie, because it’s fun to say “Poughkeepsie”.

I have no idea what’s going on with comics, because my comic store shut down, and I have to find a new source, and I can’t read spoilers until then. Damn you, Bendis.

That hits the most important points in my totally biased view, so with that I say congratulations to the Gleek Week winners, and promptly vanish in a puff of smoke. Or I would if fwoosh had a special effects budget.

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