HULK GOT BRAND NEW GUEST THIS WEEK. 
THIS NOT HULK’S IDEA. IDEA FORCED ON
HULK BY MARVEL. SAY IT GOOD FOR RATINGS. HULK NOT HAPPY AT ALL.
HULK GRUDGINGLY WELCOME TONY STARK TO THE PROGRAM.
Is this a program? We’re in a room. Where’s the cameras? I was told there would be cameras. And ladies.
SHUT IT, STARK. HULK TRYING TO KEEP FROM SMASHING YOU.
It sounds like you’re trying to speak the english language, and failing.
WOULD STARK LIKE DRINK?
simmo asked:
Hulk,
Who are hotter? Eternals, Inhumans, Olympians or Asgardians?
HULK GOTTA ADMIT CRUSH ON CRYSTAL AND MEDUSA. HULK WRITE LETTERS, NEVER SEND THEM. HULK FEEL EMBARRASSED.
Crystal is an amazing lover. But Medusa was always nervous, afraid of Black Bolt walking in on us. However, I have to say, of all the races I’ve sampled, the Olympians take hedonism to new heights. I could tell you stories.
LET HULK TOP OFF GLASS FOR STARK.
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK,
Is it really true that "with great power, comes a friggin’ hefty electrical bill?"
THIS TRUE, BUT HULK GOT FOOLPROOF PLAN. HULK GOT ZZAXXX IN HIS BASEMENT, PROVIDE UNLIMITED POWER. HULK NOT AS DUMB AS PEOPLE THINK!!
I’d take issue with that. I happen to be working on an unlimited source of energy right now. When I patent it, it could revolutionize our energy problems. Being a futurist, I predicted Earth’s energy consumption problems long ago, and began working immediately on possible solutions.
ME ME ME. RAAARGH STARK IMPRESSED WITH SOUND OF OWN VOICE. BUT HULK NOT IMPRESSED WITH STARK.
I slept with She-Hulk, you know.
…HULK NEED MOMENT. NEXT QUESTION.
Chase asked:
Hola bandito Hulk,
Love the tiara. Ever think about starting your own fashion line? They say green is the new black.
HULK BEEN IN TALKS WITH ARMANI. GREEN TAILOR-MADE SUITS NEW THING. EVERYONE GONNA GET HULKED OUT.
Giorgio and I were talking the other day, Hulk. I think I managed to persuade him that Green was…not going to be the right image for his company. Sorry about that.
RAARGH, STARK SHOULD HAVE WHOLE BOTTLE!!! DRINK UP!
Well, I do have some vacation time built up…
Simun asked:
how many hot dogs can you consume in a 10 minute time span?
PLENTY, IF THEY NOT SQUIRM TOO MUCH.
Thish drink ish really…shay, hulk, you know what? you look great. I shwear, you musht be doing shomething with your hair or shomething…
ERRR…MOVING ON…
Popoman asked:
How many puppies can you consume in a 10 minute time span?
THIS DEPENDS ON HOW MANY OF THE HOT DOGS WERE PREGNANT.
I think you’vbe misundershtood the queshtion…ish it hot in here. Man, I’m shweatin’ like an amish guy in a Besht buy…
RAAAARGH, HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, STARK.
Don’t mind if I do.
Kirk asked:
I still say IRONMAN can burn a hole through the middle of your chest ….
RAAAARGH, HULK TAKING CARE OF STARK SITUATION AS WE SPEAK.
You know, I think I really loved that girl…whasername…the one with the boobsh…but I just wasn’t man enough to commit. And now, shometimesh, I’m sho shad about the way thingsh ended up.
STARK NOT GONNA CRY, IS HE?
I’m not ‘fraid of a few tearsh big guy.
THAT SOME SPEECH TROUBLE YOU’RE HAVING!
simmo asked:
What colour are your bum biscuits?
HULK NOT LOOK. HULK NEVER LOOK. HULK NOT WANT TO SEE. NOBODY CAN MAKE HULK SEE. HULK NOT TURN AROUND TO FLUSH.
Shcared of a little poop, big guy. *hic* well, thash adoribibble. I just want to pinch those cheeksh of yoursh. Rhodey? Rhodey!! Now where the hell did that guy go…
RAAARGH! FIRE HULK OFF PLANET AGAIN, MAN-WHORE!!
TFitz asked:
Can you hit a homerun against the Green Monster?
HOW HULK PITCH AND BAT AT SAME TIME? HULK MIND BOGGLED. HULK NOT THAT FAST, HULK HAVE TO THROW, RUN, PICK UP BAT…RAAAARGH, MAKE HULK TIRED THINKNING ABOUT IT.
He’sh talking about Fenway Hulk, park. I mean fenway Park, Hulk. I mean…what wash I talkin’ ’bout?
MetalLuna asked:
Are you a Skrull?
HULK ALL HULK.
Yesh. I mean…no…I mean…wait…I don’t know yet. Hulk? Shay, Hulk, what am I?
STARK A DICK!
deadpool1701 asked:
Who would win in a fight: you or Ron Paul?
HULK SMASH COLORFUL CROSS-DRESSER!!
NO, *hic* not RuPaul. Ron. The political guy.
HULK SMASH ANYWAY. HULK NOT VOTE FOR ANYONE BUT HULK.
I’m thinkin’ of runnin’ fer preshident one day. ‘caushe Imma futurisht. And nobody can shtop me.
HULK FUTURIST TOO! HULK SEE EMBARRASSING PHOTOS IN STARK’S FUTURE.
sexyvonpoopy asked:
which do you prefer Wii or playstation3?
HULK STILL HAVE TROUBLE WITH ATARI! ONE DAY HULK BEAT DIG DUG!
My armor’sh gotta onboard playstation 3.
HULK GOT ONBOARD WII!!
NO ya don’t.
RAARGH, SUCK IT, STARK!!
Lucid Silverback esq. asked:
Hulk-a-rooni…
…like us, do you also collect Marvel Legends or other action figures?
HULK COLLECT ALL HULK FIGURES. AND SHE-HULK. FOR…RESEARCH PURPOSES. YES, THAT IT. HULK GENIUS.
If so, how many do you have?
HULK GOT…ENOUGH!
You can’t count, can ya, ya big dumb…
Lucid Silverback esq. continued asking:
Any favorites?
THE HULK WITH FISTS. OH, WAIT…
And, have you yet had the misfortune of accidentally smashing your collection while in a berserker-rage?
HULK SMASHED THAT ONE IRON MAN FIGURE HE BOUGHT. HULKBUSTER IRON MAN. HULK SMASHED IT AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
ya wouldn’t be *hic* laughin’ if I had it on now, idjit. why, I’d be all bang voom smash repulshorsh on full kablammo!!
…YYYYYEAH. MAYBE STARK SHOULD LIE DOWN, THINK ABOUT WHAT BAD BOY HE BEEN.
HULK GOTTA TAKE SOME PHOTOS NOW. GONNA SHAVE PORNSTACHE INTO HITLERSTACHE. THEN HULK GONNA
DRESS HIM LIKE DR. DOOM. HULK PREDICT STARK NOT HAPPY WITH RESULTS.
