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HULK HANGIN’ WITH HERCULES AND DEADPOOL!

RAAARGH, HULK HAVE ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION,

EXCEPT TABLE SQUARE. HULK CONFUSED!!!

simmo asked:

Hulk, do you like ball sports? Cause i’ve long thought that your anger issues would be solved if you began playing with balls.

RAAARGH HULK LOVE PLAYING WITH BALLS. HULK SPENT MANY DAYS PLAYING WITH BALLS, SMACKING THEM AROUND. HULK FEEL AT PEACE. HULK…WAIT…

Hercules: HAHAHA, Verily, the Lion of Olympus think that thou hath had been the victim of merriment, Jade one.

HULK NOT UNDERSTAND WORD YOU JUST SAID.

Deadpool: He said you’re an idiot in Olympian babble.

Hercules: Babble? Dost thou wish for Hercules to give thee the gift?

Deadpool: Is it a toaster?

Hercules: Nay. Tis the strong right fist of the Son of Zeus! Dost thou tempt me to use it upon you with your wicked words?

Deadpool: Sorry, I’m not a fan of fisting. Maybe Hulk would be more amused with it.

HULK LIKE FISTING. HULK SMASH!!

Deadpool: I am so glad that’s on tape I could vomit with happiness.


 

hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK,

Why do hot dogs come in packages of six while hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

HULK KNOW ANSWER TO THIS. YES. HULK AS SURPRISED AS YOU. AT EVERY COOKOUT, THERE GOING TO BE TWO GUYS ONLY WANT CHILI DOG. BREAD PEOPLE TAKE THIS INTO ACCOUNT.

Deadpool: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard that Shatner doing the Beatles. And I don’t mean covering their songs. It was the sixties. Anyway, Meat is sold by pound, buns aren’t. Simple as that.

HULK SUDDENLY WANT CHILI DOG!

Deadpool: I’m going to definitely need a copy of this tape when we’re done.

Hercules: verily, all this talk hath made the scion of Olympus doth have craving for this chili dog as well…Deadpool, why art thou laughing?

Deapool
: I’m sorry. Really, not funny at all. Carry on.


Simun asked:

why do people like nascar? Its a bunch of cars that drive around in circles for hours. I can’t think of anything more boring.

ONE TIME HULK SNUCK ONTO RACE TRACK, GRABBED RADIO, AND YELLED "TURN RIGHT TURN RIGHT!!!" SO EVERY DRIVER HEAR. RESULTS MADE HULK LAUGH FOR SOLID WEEK.

Hercules: I think the art of racing is a noble one. It doth remind Hercules of the chariot races I took part in in my youth. The son of Zeus remembers the adulation of the females when he rode across the finish line in his mighty steed.

Deadpool: Should I start referring to myself in the third person? Wade thinks so. Wade hates racing. Wade thinks the only way racing would be interesting is if spikes were built into the track, and they popped up at random times. I mean, if it’s going to be a three hour left turn, at least make it interesting. People only come for the crashes anyway. Everyone knows it. The highlight reel isn’t made up of "car number three making another left turn" it’s made up of car number five humping the wall. I tell you, spikes.

Spikes and snipers.

And little old ladies, that you have to swerve around.

Hercules: Thou art a horrible person.

Deadpool
: I’m not the one wearing a skirt, Sandal-lad.

HULK THINK BEARD MAN’S SKIRT PRETTY. HULK THINKING OF WEARING SKIRT TOO. HULK HEAR IT IN THING TO DO.

Hercules: The Lion of Olympus wouldst appreciate the subject change, now


sexyvonpoopy asked:

Dear Hulk,

Im hot for my cousin should I persue my hearts longing?

HULK KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. HULK HAVE ISSUES.

Hercules: Ah, mortal, verily doth Hercules know thy pain. One does not live several lifetimes without eventually running across some beauteous mortal female that is in fact a part of your bloodline. Either by Hercules own doing, or by one of his many many brethren. Tis  a part of life as a god.

Deadpool: Yeah, you people are all kinds of screwed up.

Hercules: Dost thou mean if thou be cousin to one of the mortal supermodels, thou wouldst not, in the vernacular of the mortals, wish to tap that ass?

Deadpool:…you’ve got a point.


AlphaPrime asked:

Hulk who do you think is the hottest current/past female member of the X-Men?

PSYLOCKE!

Hercules: The Lion of Olympus doth concur, brute.

Deadpool: Jubilee

WHy are you two looking at me like that?

AlphaPrime also asked:

And you should play in major league baseball as an outfielder, your strength would make you a great home run hitter and your jumping ability would make it easy for you to catch even some of the highest fly balls and rob others of their home runs we could even give you the nick name Smashing!

HULK ATTEMPTED TO TRY OUT FOR TEAM ONCE. HULK GOT KICKED OUT FOR BETTING ON OWN TEAM. HULK SAY TO THEM, IT SURE THING, AND HULK NEED THE MONEY. BUT THEY MAKE EXAMPLE OF HULK. HULK THINK THAT BOGUS. HULK SEEN GUY DOING DRUGS IN OUTFIELD, BUT HULK THEY MAKE EXAMPLE OF? HULK STICK TO POKER. HULK POKER, HARDLY EVEN KNOW ‘ER.


sexyvonpoopy asked:

would you wear a rain coat if it had a tear in it?

WHO’S BEEN CRYING IN HULK’S RAIN COAT!

Deadpool: No Hulk, you big green sack of stupid, you read it wrong. Tear like in rip.

NEVERTHELESS, HULK RAIN COAT NOT PLACE FOR PITY PARTY. TAKES CRYING SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Hercules: Here now, little fellow, where canst Hercules acquire some ale? Answering questions is thirsty work.

Deadpool: Deadpool doesn’t know. Deadpool wants to kill himself. Deadpool wishes they hadn’t taken Deadpool’s gun at the door.


creepybaldguy asked:

Hulk, what would win in a fight? a zombie or a werewolf?

ZOMBIE! HULK NEVER SEE WEREWOLF WITH SHOTGUN, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU NEED SHOTGUN TO KILL ZOMBIE!

Hercules: The Prince of Power hath fought many a mythic beast in his time, and doth agree that the zombie is one of the hardest to lay down.

Deadpool: Depends. Are Abbott and Costello in the movie? If not, I don’t care enough to watch it.


Simun asked:

What is the best way to look down a cute girls shirt without getting noticed??

HULK SUGGEST AMPLE AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL!

Hercules: I hath found that women need only gaze upon me to willingly give themselves over to me fully.

Deadpool: Hmm, hey, Herky, have you ever heard of overcompensating?

Hercules: I knoweth now what thou means.

Deadpool: Not big on dictionaries?

HULK READ DICTIONARY ONCE. HULK FOUND PLOT BOOOORING.

Deadpool: I coulda had a V8


SamuRon asked:

who the heck is Son of Hulk?

RAAAARGH, HULK NOT KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT. HULK NEVER MET THAT GIRL. HULK WAS OUT OF TOWN AROUND THAT TIME, HULK COULDN’T BE THE FATHER. MUST CONFUSE HULK WITH OTHER ONE TON GREEN GUY. HULK NEED TO GET LAWYER!

Hercules: Hercules hath laid his seed in many a mortal woman o’er his long life. Why, I could tell you of conquests that would–

Deadpool: Dude, okay, we get it. You’ve shtupped your way across the centuries, you’re virile and manly and the beard is an outward sign of how much testosterone you’ve got coursing through your veins. I mean, I’m surprised you don’t just cut a hole in that little skirt of yours and wag little Herc around just to prove you’re a guy.

SERIOUSLY. HULK NOT KNOW THAT GIRL. KID DOESN’T EVEN LOOK LIKE HULK!


MetalLuna asked:

Hulk,
How do you feel about SamuRon’s avatar?

HULK ONLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT TWO WORDS IN THAT SENTENCE.

Deadpool: You made up some words instead of reading the question, didn’t you?

RAAARGH!! YOU KNOW HULK SO WELL!!

Hercules: The son of Zeus is thirsty indeed.

Deadpool: The Dead of pool is sick of your…


Liquidisk asked:

Hulk,

Regarding the modern incarnation of Leader, is it true that if you hold him upside-down one side of his head droops lower than the other?

HULK REMEMBER FIRST TIME HULK SAW LEADER. HEAD REMINDED HULK OF SOMETHING. THEN IT HIT HULK, HULK LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. THEN, LATER, LEADER CHANGED, HULK CONTINUE LAUGHING. HULK ASKED HIM HOW THEY HANGIN’. LEADER DIDN’T GET IT. HULK STILL CHUCKLE WHEN HULK THINK ABOUT IT. LEADER THEN DROPPED BOMB ON HULK. ONE THING ABOUT LEADER…HE NOT GOT SENSE OF HUMOR AT ALL. BUT LEADER DEFINITELY GOT BALLS.

Deadpool: Oh, haha. Yes, clever. Hulk, stop laughing.

HULK CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. IT FUNNY!!

Hercules: these questions begin to tire the lion of Olympus. Doth either of you fine fellows wish to test your might against mine? I could impart upon you the gift for which hercules is known far and wide.

Deadpool: Are you hitting on me?

Hercules: What art thou accusing Hercules of?

Deadpool: I don’t know. You’re wearing a skirt, I just assumed…

Hercules: Thou accusations are base indeed. The Son of Zeus is only interested in the fairer sex.

Deadpool: No, hey, that’s fine. I just figured, immortal, in all that time, you never got curious?

HULK WONDER HOW CONVERSATION GOT ONTO THIS? WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GUY WITH TESTICLES FOR HEAD.

Deadpool: Yeah, go figure.


simmo asked:

Hulk,

How much did you pay Hercules for the sandals you borrowed off him during your time on Sakaar?

Hercules: A paltry amount, and I wouldst have them back at any time, miscreant.

HULK LIKE LOOK OF THEM. HULK FELT COOL. HULK…ERR…HULK LOST THEM

Hercules: Gah! And they were my favorite pair, also. Damn you Hulk, what the hell is wrong with you. I’m going to–

Deadpool: what the hell happened to your accent and your fancy words?

Hercules: Uhh…I mean…uhh…Verily shall Hercules, uh…just move on to the next question


Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

Hulk, if you were captain of a sailing vessel called the Bounty, and your crewmen mutinied, how would you handle such insolence?

HULK SINK SHIP. THAT SHOW THEM. HULK PUNCH HOLE IN BOTTOM OF BOAT.

Deadpool: That’s showing them!

HULK THINK YOU NOT BEING SERIOUS!

Deadpool: What could possibly give you that idea?


Simun asked:

lets say you couldn’t avoid the situation, which is worse?
you walk in on your parents doing the act OR your parents walk in on you?

UMMMMM…

Deadpool: errrr…

Hercules: Mine own father is all-seeing. You get used to it.

Deadpool: Dude…seriously…dude. You guys are just…


Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

…and by "act", I believe he means Act IV, scene II from Othello.

HULK THINK OTHELLO CRUEL TO DESDEMONA.

Deadpool
:…

Hercules:

WHY YOU BOTH SURPRISED. HULK FAN OF LITERATURE. HULK WELL READ. RAAAARGH, HULK TYPECAST!!!!!


RAARGH. THAT IS ALL!!!

ASK HULK QUESTIONS…

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