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HULKITY HULKITY HULKHULK HULK.!!!

RAAARGH, HULK GOT RID OF STARK, HULK GOING

IT ALONE THIS TIME. HULK NOT THINK THIS

LAST LONG…

fabexmax asked:

Hulk, which do you prefer your blue or purple pants? Also, when you change from puny Banner to the "Incredilbe" Hulk, how do your pants even stay on? Looks like some things seem to stay more PUNY than incredible…

HULK NOT LIKE WHAT YOU IMPLYING…

HULK LIKE BLUE AND PURPLE. HULK WENT TO SPECIALIST, THEY SAID HULK GOOD IN COOL COLORS. HULK COMFY IN DESERT, BUT HULK PAID A LOT OF MONEY, DIDN’T WANT TO COMPLAIN.

AND RAARGH, HULK MAN-JUNK IS OF ADEQUATE SIZE!


hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK,
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Those people in the power outage would never be able to see the news.

HULK THINK THIS SIMILAR TO REASON DEFINITION OF DICTIONARY IS IN DICTIONARY. IF YOU NOT KNOW WHAT DICTIONARY MEANS, HOW YOU KNOW TO LOOK IN DICTIONARY TO LOOK WORD UP? AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT DICTIONARY IS, THEN THE ROCK YOU BEEN LIVING ON COMPRESSED YOUR BRAIN. SPEAKING OF BRAIN, HULK’S BRAIN BOGGLED.


amacigian asked:

Hulk, do you like apples?

YES, HULK LIKE NIPPLES. WAIT…DID HULK MISREAD? RAAARGH, HULK STILL GOING WITH ANSWER HULK GAVE! NIPPLES!


simmo asked:

Is Muggsy Bogues the most inspirational sportsman ever?

HULK THINK HE VERY CLOSE, BUT MOST INSPI…INSPIR…GREATEST SPORTSMAN THAT GUY WHO RACE HORSES, BUT DOESN’T HAVE REAL HORSE, ONLY HAVE HORSE HEAD ON STICK, LIKE KID’S GOT. CALLED HIM PEPPERMINT! HULK NEVER BEEN MORE AMAZED. THEN HULK SAW WOODEN HORSE POOP. HULK BEEN CONFUSED EVER SINCE.


Ibentmyman-thing asked:

Say Jon Lovitz is after you.

JON LOVITZ IS AFTER YOU!

Can you take him?

SURE. HULK CAN TAKE HIM. BUT HULK GONNA NEED TO KNOW WHERE HULK TAKING HIM. HULK NOT CAB SERVICE. BUT HULK SHOULD BE. HULK BE GREEN CAB. HULK PUT SEAT ON BACK, JUMP TO WHEREVER PASSENGER WANT TO GO.

YEAH, THAT THE TICKET!


Chase asked:

Dearest Hulk,

This kid across the street had a birthday party and he didn’t invite me and I snuck in and they had cake and clowns and lots and lots of balloons and I saw his mom and she was wearing this low-cut blouse and I think I saw a nipple and his dad caught me looking and tried to diddle me and I yelled and yelled and the clowns saw him trying to diddle me and they pushed him into the shed and locked him up and he was yelling and pounding and yelling and afterwards everyone felt sorry for me and they let me go first at the party games and there was a Hulk pinata and it was really green and after I hit it it yelled "Hulk smash!" and I laughed and it smelt like bacon and I licked it and it tasted bad and my mommy told me to never lick strangers and my favorite candy is Almond Joy and Mounds and my question is:

Why do people congregate at choke points?

I see this all the time. If you are in a hotel, the "group" arranges themselves to block the area between the lobby and the corridor with the elevators. At a restaurant that has an outdoor waiting area, they cluster near the front door, completely blocking it. I see it all the time in casinos. Why stand in the open area over there when you can block people coming from four different directions at once by standing at the intersection of two walkways!What is it? Is it: look at me and all my wonderful friends having such a marvelous chat that is so engrossing we don’t even notice the pissed off people all around us until someone finally says "Excuse me" and then we can go into our "Oh my! We had NO IDEA we were standing where everyone else needs to walk TEE HEE HEE!" routine. Or maybe it relates to a study I read a while back that showed, on average, people took almost twice as long to leave a parking space when someone else was waiting for it. Is it that? Or is the world just filled with self-absorbed douche bags?

RAAARGH, HULK GLAD HULK GOT CLIFF’S NOTES. THANKS CLIFF!

ONE TIME HULK WAITED IN SUPERMARKET FOR THREE HOURS WHILE TWO OLD LADIES PLAYED CATCH UP. HULK LEARNED ABOUT OLD LADY’S GRANDDAUGHTER WHO WAS SLUT, AND GOT BELLY BUTTON PIERCED, AND WAS RUNNING AWAY WITH LOSER GUY IN ROCK BAND. AFTER THEY START TRADING HEMMORHOID STORIES, HULK GOT SO TIRED HULK PUT BAG OF FLOUR BACK AND STORMED OUT IN HUFF. RAAARGH, HULK HATE DOUCHEBAGS!


simmo asked:

Can you build an IKEA wardrobe, using only the allan key they give you?

HULK ONCE BUILT ENTIRE IKEA CONDOMIMIMUMUMIMIMUM USING ALLAN KEY. HULK LIVING IN IT NOW. THEY GOT EVERYTHING!


Big_Ricks_Customs asked:

Dear Hulk,

Why would anyone believe that Tony Stark could devise a suit of armor to "beat" you? Also is it not true that after you kicked his ass you then used Iron Man as a shiney new toilet???

HULK FIND HULKBUSTER ARMOR LAUGHABLE CONCEPT. HULK THINK IT MORE LIKE HULKTICKLER ARMOR. CAUSE IT TICKLES. THEN HULK SMASHES. AND LAUGHS. ALSO, HULK NOT ACTUALLY USE AS TOILET. HULK USE IT AS HUMIDOR. HULK LIKE A GOOD CIGAR.


sexyvonpoopy asked:

Remember the time when we drank all that wine and
you recited poetry? You took a coupla swings at the moon that night.

AND MOON KEPT DUCKING. HULK KEEP TRYING THOUGH.  MAN IN MOON MAKING HULK ANGRY!


HeXt asked:

Why is hulk really a puny human?

BECAUSE BANNER REFUSES TO WORK OUT. RAAARGH, AT LEAST DO ARM CURLS, WUSS!


Popoman asked:

HULk…Why do you hang out on Fwoosh?

HULK FASCINATED BY DEBATES SURROUNDING HASBRO’S TAKEOVER OF MARVEL LEGENDS, RELIGION AND POLITICS.

RAAARGH, HULK LYING!! HULK HERE BECUASE SAMURON HAS HULK’S "SPECIAL" VIDEO. BLACKMAIL IS AN EVIL THING, KIDS!



RAAARGH, GONNA GO NOW. HULK GOTTA WRITE CHILD SUPPORT CHECK FOR SON HULK NEVER THOUGHT HE HAD. HULK LIFE SUCKS!

HULK LOVE QUESTIONS!

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