RAAARGH HULK STUPID AGAIN!!
WELL, HULK NOT STUPID, HULK THINK’S HULK IS SMART.
HULK REALLY MEANS…UHH…
RAARGH, HULK HAS IDENTITY ISSUES!!
Lucid Silverback esq. asked:
Hulk, I have powered up the gamma irradiation generator I bought on ebay, and am ready to proceed with the exposure.
My question is, do you have any idea to what level I am supposed to set this thing in order to achieve optimum results?
HULK REMEMBER WATCHING MOVIE WHERE THIS THING GO UP TO ELEVEN. IF YOUR THING HAS ELEVEN, HULK SUGGEST ELEVEN. HULK ALSO THINK SET OVEN TIMER ON HALF HOUR, AND SET MICROWAVE FOR BAKE. ALSO, SET CLOCK BACK AN HOUR, AND PUT DVD ON REPEAT CHAPTER. AND FURTHERMORE, SET TIVO FOR REPEATS OF HULK’S SHOW. CAUSE IT DAMN GOOD SHOW. IF HULK WAS MAKING A POINT, THEN HULK GOT LOST.
Oh yah, and where do I find one-size-fits-all pants like yours?
HULK SHOP AT BIG AND TALL AND GAMMA STORE. MENTION HULK’S NAME, STEWART GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT. HELPS IF BUY IN BULK!!
creepybaldguy asked:
Hulk, doesn`t prolongued radation exposure make people infertile? if so how has this affected you?
HULK GO IN BAREBACK ALL THE TIME AND LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!! THEY SAY HULK’S GUN GOT NO BULLETS. HULK SAY HULK’S GUN IS FULLY LOADED, AND WORLD IS HULK’S FIRING RANGE!!!
meatloaf of darkness asked:
Hulk, Why do I have an uncontrollable hatred of people who say "looks like sombody’s got a case of the mondays!" if I am having a bad day at work on a monday?
Do you hate it when people say "looks like somebody’s got a case of the mondays!" to you on a monday if you’re having a bad day at work on a monday?
ONE TIME HULK TRIED TO PUNCH MONDAY. HULK KEPT SWINGING AND SWINING, GETTING ANGRIER AND ANGRIER, BUT APPARENTLY MONDAY KEPT DODGING. BUT HULK FINALLY, HULK WON. BECAUSE MONDAY WENT AWAY, AND TUESDAY SHOWED UP. ONLY TOOK TWENTY-FOUR HOURS. HULK NOT GOT A PROBLEM WITH TUESDAYS. HULK NOT TRUST WEDNESDAYS. PEOPLE CALL WEDNESDAY "HUMP DAY." NOBODY HUMPS HULK!!
Do you like office space?
HULK LIKES OFFICE SPACE, BUT IT HARD TO FIND ANY. HARD FOR HULK TO FIT INTO CUBICLES. WENT UP TO BOSS, ASKED IF HULK WAS IN A CUBICLE OR WEARING A TIGHT PAIR OF SHORTS. BOSS DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HULK MEANT. HULK THINK THERE COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN. HULK FIRED NOT LONG AFTER THAT. NOT BECAUSE HULK INCOMPETENT, BUT HULK FELT UP THE COPY GIRL.
chuck20 asked:
Hulk, what are all the cheat codes in your Ultimate Destruction video game?
HULK HATE THAT GAME!! HULK ALWAYS LOSE. HULK LOOKED UP CHEAT CODES FOR OWN GAME, FELT CRUSHING BLOW TO SELF ESTEEM. HULK FINALLY FOUND CODE: UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT AND HIT START WHILE PRESSING THE A BUTTON. IF THIS DOESN’T WORK, THEN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG LIED TO US ALL!
and do you have cancer?
HULK’S A CAPRICORN
Simun asked:
I saw a girl on the subway who had a tattoo on her lower back that read "harder and faster". what do you think that meant?
HULK THINK IT MEANS GIRL REEEALLY WANT HER SUB. LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! ALSO…DID YOU GET HER NUMBER? HULK MIGHT HAVE SUB FOR HER.
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK,
I think I found a "sweet" woman for you……
What do you think?
HULK THINK SHE GOT TOO MUCH JUNK IN TRUNK. AND NO BOOBIES. IN FACT, THE PROSPECT ENTIRELY HORRIFIES HULK ON A DEEP AND PROFOUND LEVEL.
…
EH, WHO HULK KIDDING. HULK STILL HIT IT.
Slade asked:
Hulk don’t you think its kind of shallow of people to just assume you like women?
HULK WONDER WHAT YOU’RE IMPLYING. HULK WONDERING NOW IF YOU’VE GOT A CERTAIN TAPE HULK PAID A LOT OF MONEY SO NOBODY WOULD EVER SEE IT. IF SO…THAT WAS FERRIGNO, NOT HULK. HULK WOULDN’T LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
MAN, HULK REGRETS THE SEVENTIES…
sexyvonpoopy asked:
Hulk when you are drunk do you yell "HULK SMASHED!"?
THE TWENTIETH TIME HULK SHOUTED THIS, THE LAUGHTER STOPPED. APPARENTLY HULK HAS NO TIMING, WORE OUT THE JOKE. BUT IF THAT SO, THEN WHY HULK STILL LAUGHING?
simmo asked:
Hulk, do you get comps of Marvel books about you?
NO. GUYS AT MARVEL ARE CHEAP BASTARDS. MAKE HULK PAY FULL PRICE. AND THEN HULK READ ABOUT HOW HULK GOT SHOT INTO SPACE. HULK MISS PETER DAVID.
AlphaPrime asked:
Hulk who would win in a fight, you or the REAL Optimus Prime(not that goofy looking movie
wannabe)
HULK THINK THAT GOOD QUESTION. MANY SIMI…SIMIL…WE A LOT A LIKE. WE BOTH TRANSFORM. HULK TRANSFORM INTO PUNY BANNER, OPTIMUS TRANSFORM INTO SEMI. WE BOTH HAD SUMMER MOVIES. UHH…WE BOTH MAKE THAT COOL TRANSFORMING NOISE.
OKAY, THAT’S A LIE. BUT HULK MAKES THAT NOISE IN HIS HEAD A LOT.
HULK SMASH ROBOT!!
PS bring Bizarro and Deadpool back, in fact have em guest star at the same time!
THAT’S CRAZY TALK. HULK HOPE HIS AGENT DIDN’T HEAR THAT. HULK GOT BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.
Liquidisk asked:
Hulk, if you could be any animal, what animal would it be, and why would it be a crab?
HULK WOULD BE…WAIT…CRAB, HULK WANT TO…UHH…CRAB…UHH…RAARGH NEW RULE, QUESTIONS THAT MAKE HULK’S HEAD HURT GET SMASHED!!!
Simun asked:
Because there’s been some disagreement in the "Pearls of Wisdom" wisdom thread, I’ll ask you
Hulk:
How many shakes at a urinal is considered appropriate?
DEPENDS ON HOW LONG GUY LOOKS AT HULK’S LITTLE GREEN FRIEND BEFORE TURNING AWAY. HULK NOT RUNNING MUSEUM DOWN THERE!!!
creepybaldguy asked:
Hulk,what do I have to do to get a column?
GO TO ROME!!
meatloaf of darkness asked:
Hulk, what do I have to do to prevent creepybaldguy from getting a column?
GO TO ROME!!
creepybaldguy asked:
Hulk, where can I find Meatloaf so I can kick him in the balls?
GO TO ROME!!
MetalLuna asked:
And How did said act come to be known as a Mexican breakfast food?
(Huevos Rancheros)
HULK KEEP BREAKFAST IN HIS PANTS. HULK THINK IT FEELS NICE AND WARM. THEN WHEN PEOPLE SAY,
HULK, IS THAT BREAKFAST IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME, HULK PULL OUT SAUSAGE. TRUST HULK, IT HILARIOUS IN PERSON. IF THIS NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, JUST REMEMBER HULK WEIGHS HALF A TON. QUESTION ANSWERED!!
RAARGH!! HULK’S WASTED ENOUGH OF EVERYONE’S TIME. HULK GONNA GO SEE THAT MOVIE EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT. THE ONE WITH THAT GUY. OR THE GIRL. OR POSSIBLY THE TALKING ANIMAL. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.