If you were born at a certain time, it’s possible that you’ve chomped an incalculable amount of pellets. You’ve probably also cannibalized tons and tons of ghosts, and you’ve no doubt eaten more pixelated fruit than you have in real life.
Regardless of how high-tech video games get, what with the next-generation processors and the super-duper graphics and the realistic frammakammin technomological updates, there’s something incredibly simplistic yet addictive about a minimal grid, a handful of blinky little dots and a yellow pizza with a slice missing racing around consuming as much as he can before someone assaults him. Pac-Man will no doubt continue to be one of my favorite video games, even when we have realistic virtual games we can interact with physically like some kind of Star Trek holodeck. When that day comes, I’ll probably still want to play a life-sized version of Pac-Man where I can eat the pellets and the ghosts myself. I can’t wait to look like a damn fool while doing that.
I recently discovered that Funko is doing a series of their incredibly popular Pop! Vinyl figures on Pac-Man, featuring the entire main cast of Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, and the ghosts, including a ready-to-be-eaten blue ghost. And while I preordered them as fast as my fingers could preorder, it still doesn’t scratch that particular itch I have. There have been Pac-Man figures, there has been all kinds of Pac-Man merchandise, but none of them have been that perfect blend of articulation and simple elegance that I want in a Pac-Man figure.
But the question is always the same: who would make a really good Pac-Man toy? What company would put out a fully articulated action figure like that?
The answer, of course, has to be Figuarts. As soon as that crossed my mind it was almost as if I could see what the final product would look like.
Figuarts is already getting a lot of my money for Star Wars, Kinnikuman, and any Mario-related figure they put out, plus random things here and there. Each Figuarts figure is the purest distillation of the type of action-figure fun I look for in my toys. The upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures look like they might be definitive versions of their ’80s cartoon appearance. The blend of articulation, engineering and pure unadulterated playability that is squeezed into each and every Figuarts figure I’ve had the pleasure of fondling makes me believe that they, finally, could produce the ultimate Pac-Man line.
Pac-Man on screen is, of course, just a mouth that opens and closes, but promotional material and various cartoons and such show him with both arms and legs. Of course, this means Pac-Man would have to be fully articulated. Figuarts are masters of articulation, so I have no doubt that Pac-Man would be able to hit every pose I’d want to put him in. He’d come with a nice group of alternate hands for varied expressiveness. He could come with two sets of eyes: the more cartoonish eyes and the pupil-free versions that basically look like two black Pac-Men.
Since Pac-Man is all mouth — literally his body is his mouth — he’d have to be articulated in such a way that he’d be able to open and close his bodymouth with a nifty bit of ingenious articulation that would bring the entire theme together. A good Pac-Man figure will have to come with all types of accessories. He would have to have fruit, of course, and some pellets, and even some super-pellets. If they could go the Mario route, maybe he could come with a chunk of the famous Pac-Man grid he could be displayed on. Other characters could come with other parts of the grid so eventually you could create your own fully realized Pac-Man display.
The ghosts would be simple: one mold, four characters (or five if they make a blue one like Funko is doing). They’d have to come with stands since they’re floaters, and they could come with separate eyes that come with their own stand for when they’ve been eaten and are floating away. They could also come with chunks of the Pac-Man grid. Give the ghosts fully articulated arms so they’re not just floating lumps and they’d be cool-as-hell toys to menace the gluttonous yellow guy.
Once Pac-Man is made, then other variations could also follow. Ms. Pac-Man only need a Pac-Man body with her own ladylike eyes and a bow. 
Then Super Pac-Man only needs a cape and different shoes. I don’t know how likely Professor Pac-Man would be, but he’d be a fairly easy custom from a standard Pac-Man if one wanted to build a full Pac-lineage.
Basically, this would be such an awesome thing, and I can only imagine having Mario and Pac-Man teaming up to fight crime and eat pellets. I don’t know why this hasn’t happening, or why it’s not happening right now.
