Let’s Have Some Funko! – Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit exists in a strange bubble of perfection, a concept pulled off in immaculate fashion that could not be replicated in another era. A seamless melding of animation and live action bolstered by rock-solid performances and a unique story (a story loosely based on the book Who censored Roger Rabbit), it was an instant classic and will hopefully never be remade or tampered with in any way.

And it was frickin’ traumatizing.

I’ve seen entire horror movies that were less full-on terrifying than the “big reveal” near the end. Judge Doom was a malevolent presence throughout the movie, but he achieved damn near mythic status with that ending. If you watch it for the first time as an adult, maybe it wouldn’t be so horrifying, but as a kid — and not even a young kid! — it stuck in my brain for days afterwards.

Spoilers will obviously follow below, so if you haven’t seen the movie, stop reading, go watch it, and then come back.

Funko already has a line of their Pop! Disney vinyl figures dedicated to Roger Rabbit, and while they look cool and stylized, it’s a traditional action figure line I want and have wanted since that first viewing in 1988. Funko’s voyage into the inhuman world of Fantastic Mr. Fox makes me think that a Roger Rabbit line is extremely feasible. While I could be greedy, one solid wave of figures — many of which they’ve covered in their Pop! line — would sate my need for figures.

Roger Rabbit

Cartoons have been filled with self-aware characters since the dawn of animation, and there have been many cartoons that have featured characters interacting with their animators, their creators, and so forth.
But I loved the central conceit of the movie: cartoon characters were not only real and able to interact with the real world and live in it and exist in it, but they did it with all the troubles that “normal” people had. They were just working stiffs like anybody else. They worried about their jobs, they were typecast, they were down on their luck… they were people, just different types of people. There are all types of accessories that he could come with. A frying pan would be a neat little touch, but then so would a fully articulated Baby Herman.

Eddie Valiant

I’ve seen Bob Hoskins in plenty of other roles since WFRR, but to me he’ll always be Eddie. His role as a grizzled, grumpy noir detective stereotype will forever connect the two of them in my mind, so apologies to his large catalog of other great roles. While “middle aged guy in a rumpled suit” may not seem like the most exciting of toys, the line wouldn’t be the same without him. Give him a gun, a pair of handcuffs (as a nod to his old LJN figure), maybe a singing sword, and a constipated looks of annoyance and we’re all set.

Jessica Rabbit

Without her, there wouldn’t be one of the greatest cinematic lines: “I”m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” Jessica Rabbit would have to have plenty of voom in her va-va (wait, what?) and a skirt that is accurate, but doesn’t impede articulation. Good luck with that.

Smarty Weasel

While I would want the entire contingent of weasel henchmen, getting only a few may have to be enough. Since Smarty made it into the Pop! line, he would more than likely be the way they’d go if they were to make a weasel. Give him a gun and he’ll be ready for action

Judge Doom (regular)

Judge Doom has two very noteworthy appearances in the movie, so he needs two very different toys to encompass both of these looks. While assigning him two slots takes a slot away from another character, I can’t seen one character getting all the necessary accessories to provide both looks, so someone has to suffer. Regular Judge Doom will need a regular head and a cane and maybe a canister of “dip” for killing toons.

Judge Doom (toon)

This is the full-on creeptastic version with an alternate head from the regular Doom, featuring those disturbing-as-hell eyes that spawned a thousand nightmares. He’ll also need a handful of alternate hands, including a buzzsaw and a golden anvil.

Judge Doom, you were one scary son of a bitch, but you would make a fantastic toy.

So that’s a six figure wave that, while not giving me everything I’d want from a line, would at least give me enough of a taste. Sure, I won’t be getting a Benny the Cab for them to ride around in, and all the weasels won’t get representation, but I’d be getting the main heroes and villains, and that’s not bad at all. Make it happen Funko. Ppppppppppplease.

 

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