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Fwoosh Week In Review: 12/13/9

Previously on Cheers: Sam killed Woody for sleeping with Diane. Carla broke a bottle over Norm’s head and then stabbed him in the face. Frasier and Cliff had sex on the pool table. Lilith took notes.

This week in the Microverse:

Anybody remember the first ML wal-mart wave? Anybody remember ToyBiz? Anybody remember 2006? Peculiarly bumped from the past, Fwoosher’s are now tired of Hasbro and are instead moving back to complain
retroactively about Toybiz, while riding in a DeLorean. I wish I had a DeLorean. I’d find a girl named Delores. And I’d take Delores out in my DeLorean.

Sasquatch was too small. Weight Watchers.

Prototypes of the 6 inch scale Titanium Man and Crimson dynamo hit ebay, which is giving fwooshers a bit of hope that they may actually get made in our lifetime. If they’re not made, then somebody somewhere is unapologetically, ridiculously stupid to a degree that couldn’t even be calculated with a really fast computer, because they look awesome and need to be made. And the prototypes sold for a very low price. Why the hell didn’t I bid…

Also, those 4 inch Iron Man 2 figures look awesome. And have balls. All my toys need balls. Balls make everything better. A toy without balls is like Batman without Dick.

Dick Grayson.

Is what I meant.

You pervert.

Speaking of Batman

Multiverse:

New two packs debuted in Toy fare. Batman and Robin and Aquaman and Black Manta, all repainted. Aquaman is one shiny dude. Many fwooshers want more to be done to make Robin more accurate.

This week the Animal Man/B’wanna Beast pack goes on sale. Don’t forget. Buy plenty so they’ll see how popular these two packs are. Buy five or six apiece. Maybe seven. Buy Buy Buy!!!

*collects check from Matty*

Expanded Universe:

Packaged pictures of Wun-dar, Battle Cat and Trap Jaw were released by Matty. Trap freakin’ Jaw. Awesome.

This week The Goddess, King Randor, Skeletor and Winston go on sale. Buy buy buy!!

*collects another check*

Some people seem to be arguing over some stuff like character choice or Clothing folds or something in the Ghostbusters thread. I don’t know. Toys make me angry also. Cranky like Spanky with a hanky! If I learned one thing from that thread, it’s if somebody asks you if you’re a God…say yes.

I may be taking the wrong lesson away from the thread. But so are we all.

Crap, now I’ve got the theme song in my head again.

The Macroverse:

A harmless thread about robots walked it’s way into my peripheral vision, and now I’m buying a 50 dollar toy. Damn you fwoosh people. But yeah, those Ashley Wood robot toys look awesome.

Bar With no Name:

Zephyr Roc elected himself Fwoosher of the decade in a performance which many critics are hailing as “tone deaf and incomprehensible…I left the theater” and “it’s like if Meryl Streep and Marlon Brando had a son and then dropped him down a set of stairs. Five thumbs down!” Not mentioned was some fwoosher named Zephyr_Fig, who probably had a shot at the title but disappeared mysteriously one day. Damn shame.

In addendum to a sexy Mustache, Johnny B wants chest hair also. I’m assuming this is all in preparation for the day he may go bald, and he’s gearing up for the most impressive comb-over ever.

Grinman’s wife squirted out a baby boy. I’ll assume he was registered on Fwoosh shortly after.

And to wrap up, this week was customcon, hosted by Fwoosh. An extra day was added to contain all the awesome work from a talented bunch of people. An overworked and underpaid Samuron could be heard exhaling a long exasperated sigh after tirelessly putting up entry after entry and promptly passed out, with a sign on his chest that says “Do not disturb, closed until Christmas”.

And to all a good night.

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