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DO NOT ADJUST MONITOR. HULK SUPPOSED TO BE GREEN!

RAARGH, HULK ALWAYS WANTED TO PUSH F7, BUT HULK SCARED.

Simun asked:

Can you do the hustle? Got any other funky moves?

RAAARGH, HULK CAN’T DO HUSTLE. BUT SPEAKING OF FUNKY, HULK DO FUNKY CHICKEN. HULK GOT CHICKEN, STUDIED HIM FOR DAYS. HULK COME TO CONCLUSION CHICKEN NOT GOT ENOUGH FUNK. HULK THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. HULK THOUGHT ABOUT HOW TO MAKE CHICKEN FUNKIER, SO HULK BUST MOVE ON DANCE FLOOR, GET GIRL. BUT CHICKEN NOT GETTING FUNKY. HULK DISAPPOINTED IN CHICKEN. HULK THINK HULK GOT BROKEN CHICKEN. ANSWER FINALLY CAME TO HULK. HULK GAVE CHICKEN FEW PUFFS OF HULK’S SPECIAL BAG OF MAGIC. CHICKEN PROCEEDED TO GET JIGGY. HULK COPIED MOVES. WENT TO CLUB, DID FUNKY CHICKEN. THEY SAY "HULK, WHAT YOU DOING? HULK SAID "FUNKY CHICKEN!" THEY SAY LOOK LIKE RETARDED GREEN GUY. HULK WENT HOME ALONE. HULK ATE CHICKEN. FELT FUNNY AFTERWARDS. BAD TIME ALL AROUND.


simmo asked:

After WWH, will we have red states, blue states and green states?

YES, EXCEPT NO RED OR BLUE. HULK NOT GOT TIME FOR THEM. ALL STATES GREEN. AND ALL STATES HAVE ONE MOTTO. "STOP IT."

HULK THINK IT UNIVERSAL MOTTO. JUST STOP IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. STOP IT. HULK IS NOT AMUSED.


hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK,
When it come to you doing your "paperwork" do you fold or crumple your tp?

…RAAARGH, HULK BIG FANCY MAN WITH BIDET. HULK NOT USE TOILET PAPER.

ERR…HULK LYING. BY "BIDET" HULK MEANS FOUNTAIN AT LOCAL MALL. HULK CAN’T GO BACK TO MALL. WHICH SUCKS FOR HULK

CAUSE HULK HAD GIFT CARD. NON-REDEEMABLE. HULK LIFE SUCK!


Chase asked:

Dear Hulkest,

I heard that Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne teamed up to copyright your, seemingly but apparently not legal, trademark,

"Hulk smash!" Since they are such a pair of bastards, what will your new catchphrase be?

HULK NEW CATCH PHRASE GONNA BE "DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?" HULK GOING FOR DIFFERENT APPROACH. INSTEAD OF HULK SHOUTING INTENTIONS, HULK PLAN TO CONFUSE ENEMY. THAT WAY, IF ABOMINATION THREATEN TO BEAT HULK UP, HULK CAN SCREAM "DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?" AND WHILE ABOMINATION LOOK CONFUSED, HULK HIT HIM INTO NEXT COUNTY. GOOD PLAN ALL AROUND.


sexyvonpoopy asked:

Who is your favorite football team to win the superbowl?

THE ONE OJ ON. HE KILL COMPETITION!


Pendragon Concepts asked:

Hulk,

Who is stronger?

Hulk on Earth 23
Hulk on Earth 36
Hulk on Earth 3

HULK STRONGEST HULK THERE IS! UNLESS, IF THEY ALL HULKS, THEN HULK STRONGER THEN HIMSELF…WHICH CAN’T BE, SO HULK IS EQUALLY STRONGEST OF ALL THE DIFFERENT HULKS, WHICH IS NOT MUCH OF A FIGHT, SO HULK GUESS HULK WAIT UNTIL THERE CRISIS OF INFINITE HULKS, AND HULK’S MERGE, AND THEN WAIT A WHILE MORE UNTIL HULK PUNCH WALL AND THERE SUDDENLY MANY HULKS, AND THEN WAIT A LITTLE LONGER UNTIL ALL HULK’S MERGE BACK INTO SINGLE HULK AGAIN, THEN HULK KICK SELF IN HULK’S NUTS AND GO HOME.


Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

Oh mighty green one…

Which Betty Ross do you prefer…

Jennifer Connolly or Liv Tyler?

THIS TOUGH QUESTION. HULK GONNA SAY LIV TYLER, CAUSE HULK THINK SHE GOT RGHT SIZED MOUTH FOR IT. AND BY IT…YOU KNOW WHAT HULK TALKING ABOUT.


meatloaf of darkness asked:

Hulk, have you ever owned a ferret?

Are they mean?

HULK HAD FERRET IN EIGHTIES. IT WAS WHAT ALL THE COOL KIDS WERE DOING. HULK NAMED HIM CRACKERS, CAUSE HE LIKED CRACKERS. HULK NOT GOT MUCH IMAGINATION. HULK FED IT, CARED FOR IT, PLAYED WITH IT, THEN IT GOT INTO FIGHT WITH RACCOON, NEVER THE SAME AFTER THAT. SOON FERRET BIT HULK’S THUMB WHILE HULK RUBBED IT’S TINY LITTLE HEAD. HULK NOT LIKE WHEN FERRETS NIBBLE HIS DIGITS. HULK GOT MAD, TOSSED FERRET INTO ORBIT. HULK LIKE TO THINK CRACKERS IS STILL UP THERE, WAVE TO HIM OCCASIONALLY.


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