WEEK REVIEW FWOOSH IN NOW LOOK HERE READ WOOT!
Now that that’s out of the way, in
The Microverse:
A recent toyfare article reignited some of that old burning sensation in fwoosh’s collective pee. According to Marvel’s Hasbro team, there probably be 6 inch Iron Man 2 figures, there will be more MU three packs, there may be more anniversary stuff like Secret Wars, the ML fans choice two packs will be released in the Fall of 2010, there is additional exciting ML news they’re not ready to announce, and Steve Buscemi is People’s most beautiful person of all time. This news has of course stirred up the aching putrid pot o’ dissent once more, as people are wondering how the hell Mr. Pink could be considered attractive to anybody at all.
Wait…
No, actually, people are cheesed, peeved and bereaved about the lack of good, hard, solid Marvel Legends news. Or at least some people are. Others have achieved a staqe of zen like apathy so strong that a thousand gnats all singing the same Mariah Carey song would not be able to disrupt their mood.
Also, how can we still not have the Masters of Evil in 6 inch form? How? How can this be? We’ve got water on the moon but no MOE in ML! I hear that’s the reason no aliens have landed on Earth V style.
“Captain Kvertlx, we are nearing Earth orbit. Do you wish me to open a hailing frequency to share with the terrans all we know of universal peace, immunity to all disease and clean burning endless energy sources?”
“Do they have 6 inch Masters of Evil yet in that swanky ML line?”
“No Captain.”
“Primitives. Nuke them all, while I shake my antennae disapprovingly at them.”
Elsewhere in the Multiverse:
I found series 10 except for Man-Bat. That’s all that’s important this week. WHABAM!
Seriously. That’s all. You may leave.
Ok, I guess some other stuff happened. Like series 11 showing up. Did I say series 11 started showing up? Yes, yes I did. Too damn bad the aliens nuked us. But if they hadn’t, and if the world was actually continuing to exist…WAVE 11!!! Bringing all new meaning to the phrase “I’ve got a Question.”
*cough*
Also this week, a brand new column called Costume Contumely debuted to mixed reactions. Some fwooshers found it’s snarky insults to be unnecessarily harsh, while others liked the information therein and didn’t mind the satirical tone that the author of the column (whose identity will remain anonymous until he or she wishes to expose himself. At which time the author will promptly be whisked to jail for indecent exposure) adopted. If fwoosh’s collective temperature could be taken (anally, natch) then the results would trend towards a cool response. In forecast terms this would be read as partly serious with a chance of insulted. Personally I’d like both Cyclotrons. Crazy talk.
Don’t forget to order the Color of Fear two pack tomorrow on Matty!
In the Expanded Universe:
We step into a world of toys briefly that I stopped collecting a while ago, just to mention that Changing Boba fett’s voice to that of Jango’s in the prequels was just dumb. WORST LINE READING EVER! I mean, listen to the difference:
“He’s no good to me dead.”
“He’s no good to me dead.”
Okay that doesn’t work in print…but you get my point. Jeez, Temuera, did you just wake up from a nap?
Don’t forget to order Scareglow and the reissued He-man (if you missed him) tomorrow on Matty. If only I got paid for saying that…
Pictures of Adora, the alter ego of She-ra, surfaced, and fwooshers aren’t impressed. The general complaint seems to be that she looks to be wearing a diaper, or have some sort of midget tucked into her panties. I say in the future tucking a midget into your pants will be considered trendy. Adora’s just ahead of the curve. And by ahead of the curve I mean she’s got a midget in her panties. Personally I don’t care. I suppose I could be forced to care, but until I have her in my hand and a tiny in scale midget drops out I don’t. She looks decent enough to me. Besides she’s only going to be standing there for a few seconds until you say “for the Honor of greyskull” in a high voice and then quickly switch her out for She-ra.
I mean…
Who would do that?
Literal breaking news: Evil-Lyn will be the figure for April of 2010.
Moving on…in The Bar with No Name:
If you call me, and you’re pooping, I will hang up on you. Yet another inconvenience this modern world has brought upon us. I don’t remember Andy Taylor saying “Sarah, it’s me, get me Floyd’s barber shop, I’m taking a dump and want to see if Floyd can give me a haircut when I’m done.”
It just didn’t happen.
Additional Links