TAKE PROTEIN PILLS AND PUT HELMET ON!!
Simun asked:
ever get that "not so fresh" feeling? what does Hulk do and can you suggest a product?
HULK FREQUENTLY GET THIS. HULK ONLY FOUND ONE THING TO DO WHEN HULK GET THIS. HULK GOES TO MALL, STANDS OVER THE FOUNTAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF MALL. HULK SURE YOU GOT ONE. AFTER ABOUT TEN MINUTES OF THAT, HULK FEEL FRESH AS THING THAT ALWAYS FEELS FRESH. OF COURSE, HULK PERIODICALLY ASKED TO LEAVE MALL WHEN HULK DO THIS, BUT NOBODY KEEP HULK AWAY FOR LONG. THAT HOW HULK ROLL.
Buzzy Fret asked:
hey Hulk,
have a couple questions for you;
one, why do you think Marvel Chief Editor Joe Quesadilla hates Spider-Man, Mary Jane and all of their fans so much that he would perpetrate such an atrocity as the One More Day story?
HULK THINK ONLY ANSWER IS JOE IS VICTIM OF DEAL WITH DEVIL. AND HULK THINK EIC OF DC MADE DEAL. THIS MEANS THAT EDITOR OF DC NO LONGER MARRIED, BUT JOE DOOMED TO MAKE DUMB CHOICES. LIKE SPIDEY’S MARRIAGE. AND RED HULK. AND DEAD CAP. AND SKRULLS. HULK COULD GO ON, BUT HULK AFRAID FINGERS START TO HURT.
and two, what do you think of the Red Hulk? any idea who he is?
HULK NOT REALLY KNOW, BUT HULK WAITING FOR HULK BLUE TO GO ALONG WITH HULK RED. BECAUSE THAN AN IDEA THAT SO GOOD BOTH COMPANIES NEED TRY IT ONCE.
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK,
Why is it that the only job where you start at the top is digging a hole?
BECAUSE STRESS OF STARTING AT TOP MEANS AN EARLY GRAVE, AND LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU JUST DUG IT. RAAARGH, NOBODY CALL HULK DUMB AGAIN!! NOW WHERE HULK’S PANTS GO…
SamuRon asked:
dear Hulk,
I was just lying down to take a nap when I heard the sound of an animal whimpering in my garage, so I went in there and found a little dog. he had gotten himself stuck between the front of my car and the boxes in front of it. turns out it was the neighbor’s dog that somehow got loose, so I picked up the dog and went over there, but there’s nobody home. so now I’ve got this dog on the back deck, and whenever I go back inside it starts whining and pawing at the sliding door. I gave it some water and some cold cuts, but it won’t shut up. what should I do?
thanks, Wants-to-Take-a-Nap
MMM…YUMMY! HULK THINK THIS PERFECT TIME TO SHARE HULK’S FAVORITE RECIPE FOR DOG SOUP. IT LUCKILY REQUIRES ONE LITTLE DOG. AND LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU PRE-STUFFED WITH COLD CUTS AND WATER. THIS GIVE DOG GOOD FLAVOR.
SOME PEOPLE SAY HULK’S HABIT OF EATING DOGS IS NOT NICE, BUT THEN HULK ASK QUESTION: WHAT ELSE YOU GONNA DO WITH THEM? HULK NOT THINK THERE DOG SHORTAGE OUT THERE. PLUS, IT TASTY. SO IF YOU NOT WANT DOG, SEND IT TO HULK.
sexyvonpoopy asked:
If you had the money what would you do with it?
HULK SPEND IT ALL ON LOTTERY TICKETS. IF HULK HAD MONEY, HULK WANT GUARANTEE THAT HULK GONNA HAVE EVEN MORE MONEY, AND BUYING LOTTERY TICKETS SEEMS LIKE GOOD WAY TO DO THAT. AND THEN WHEN HULK WIN LOTTERY, HULK BE SET FOR LIFE. HULK GENIUS!
AlphaPrime asked:
Hulk, Jason or Freddy, who’s the better/scarier horror star?
HULK NEVER PLAYED HOCKEY, SO HULK GONNA SAY FREDDY. HE RUIN HULK’S NAP!
Hulk, Soundwave or Shockwave who you like better?
HULK GOT IPOD, SO HULK GONNA SAY BIG GUN GUY IS COOLER. BUT THEN, BIG GUN GUY DOESN’T MAKE BUNCH OF LITTLE GUYS COME OUT OF CHEST. HULK THINK HULK RECONSIDER. WAIT…BIG GUN GUY MADE COOL NOISES AND LIT UP. RAAARGH, HULK SOLD!
Hulk, do you like Stabbing Westward?
HULK MORE FOND OF PUNCHING EASTWARD. HULK NOT REALLY KNIFE GUY. UNLESS HULK TOTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, WHICH IS LIKELY.
NewGoblin23 asked:
Hulk, whats your take on superhero squad vs minimates?
HULK THINK "MINIMATES" SOUND LIKE MIDGET MARRIAGES, SO HULK GO WITH SUPERHERO SQUAD. HULK’S REASONS MAKE SENSE TO HULK.
And who do you think would win in a fight between me and my dad?
DEPEND ON IF YOUR DAD CALLED YOU "HONEY"
New Goblin vs green goblin
GREEN GOBLIN. GREEN ALWAYS WINS. IN EVERYTHING. NEVER FORGET THAT. GREEN KICKS ASS. ALWAYS. FOREVER. HULK SAY SO!
TheSameIdiot asked:
Hulk, dogs or cats?
HULK COVERED THIS ALREADY. DOGS TASTE BETTER. CATS TOO STRINGY.
New car smell, or new corpse smell?
HULK THINK NEW CORPSE IN NEW CAR SMELL PRETTY GOOD. FOR FEW DAYS. THEN THINGS GET IFFY. BUT HOPEFULLY IT IN RIVER BY THEN. WAIT…HULK THINK HULK SAID TOO MUCH. ERR…NEXT QUESTION…
AF asked:
Hulk —
Remember that time you flushed Simun down the toilet? That was awesome. But I’ve heard he’s put itching powder in your shorts. Are you itchy?
WELL, THIS EXPLAIN LOTS OF THINGS. HULK THOUGHT HULK PICKED UP SOMETHING FROM HULK’S ENCOUNTER WITH SPIDEY’S WIFE. HULK WONDERING JUST WHERE SHE BEEN, OR WHERE SPIDEY BEEN. BUT IT SIMUN ALL ALONG. IT ALWAYS SIMUN. RAARGH, HULK WONDER WHAT HE HAVE IN STORE FOR HULK NEXT!! HULK AFRAID TO SLEEP, HE PUT HULK’S HAND IN WARM WATER. HULK NOT NEED REASON TO PEE HULK’S BED!!
Chase asked:
Dear Hulk,
It’s been a while. Why haven’t you called? Was our dinner at PF Chang’s China Bistro not to your liking? Was it the shrimp fried rice? Yes, I ended up cemented to my toilet as well. I heard your estate needed new plumbing after that night, and for that, I apologize. I forgot about your stomach’s intolerance to seafood, and your inability to say no to "eating puny sea critter." But hey, if you’re in town, give me a ring. I bought new pumps. Candy apple red. You can call it dessert.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
HULK THINK CASUAL MENTION OF "PLUMBING" AND "PUMPS" IS SOME KIND OF CODE, BUT HULK A LITTLE TOO DUMB TO GUESS JUST WHAT IT MEANS. BUT…HULK TELL YOU WHAT, WHEN HULK IN TOWN, HULK GIVE YOU A RING. HULK HAS YOUR NUMBER RIGHT HERE. IN FACT, IT ON HULK’S SPEED DIAL. YOU NUMBER 3 ON HULK’S SPEED DIAL. UNDER BETTY AND RICK. THOUGH, HULK’S PHONE’S BATTERIES HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW. SO…WAIT…HULK SHOULD HAVE KEPT THAT PART TO HULK’S SELF.
TOM CRUISE NEEDS TO STOP TRYING TO RECRUIT HULK!!
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