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HULK AND GUEST STAR TOM CRUISE!!

HULK GOT BIG CHECK FROM…PEOPLE FOR THIS.

TheSameIdiot asked:

Super man, that oh?

HULK CRANK THAT HULKIE BOY. HULK WORK IT, JOCK IT, AND SMASH IT!! HULK CRANK IT AND SPANK IT, AND…OKAY, HULK NOT KNOW WHAT HE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT YOU TALKING ‘BOUT…OR WHAT MAN ON RADIO TALKING BOUT. HULK SMASH RADIO FIVE TIMES WHEN SONG COMES ON. RAAARGH, CRANK IT…CRANK THIS!! WHAT TOM THINK?

I just…that’s how it is. That’s how it is. When you…when you have a calling, and you have to go there…there’s no waiting. You know? There’s no waiting. You have to Superman that oh. You have to…be Super. I mean, I’d like to sit down, occasionally..maybe rest…but no. I can’t. I won’t. Not if there’s an oh, I have to Super. Man. I will Superman it. I will. There’s…no question about it.

RAARGH…THAT MADE LESS SENSE THAN SONG. HULK HATE L RON HUBBARD!!



hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK,
Is it true that he who laughs last, thinks slowest?

HULK NEVER LAUGH. HULK CHORTLE, BUT HULK NOT LAUGH. ONCE HULK TITTERED. THEN HULK LAUGHED AT FACT THAT HULK TITTERED. THEN HULK SMASHED SMALL TOWN. NOBODY DIED. THAT HOW HULK SMASH TOWNS. WAIT…HULK JUST MADE HULK SELF LAUGH…AND HULK LAUGHING LAST…HULK’S BRAIN HURT!!

*Tom cruise laughed for fifteen minutes straight and was unable to comment on the question*



AF asked:

Hulk —

Yeah, that was itching powder. Did you develop some sort of disease from Mary J or something? Ew. Maybe Simun isn’t the one to blame.

HULK SMASH PUNY ITCH IN HULK’S PANTS! THEN HULK DOUBLE OVER BECAUSE HULK HIT HULK’S JIGGLIES. THAT MAKE HULK EVEN MADDER. HULK GONNA NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME NOW. BUT HULK NOT FORGET SIMUN. ONCE HULK CLEAR TEARS FROM HULK’S EYES…HULK GONNA DO SOME BAD THINGS. BUT FIRST…HULK NEEDS TO LAY DOWN.

We are the cure for diseases. We are the cure to itching. Do you…do you know how long it’s been since I had an itch? Twenty years. twenty years. That’s…*four minutes of laughter* Man, that’s something. I can’t even find the words to…whew…to describe it. Think about it. No more itching. No more…no more diseases. That’s what we do.

That’s how powerful this…this is. I just…man…just…wow, you know? You know. It’s just…yeah.

HULK WANT TO KNOW IF TOP GUN WANTS PUNCH IN HIS FEW GOOD MEN TOO. HULK HAPPY TO DO IT!!



AlphaPrime asked:

Hulk do you like the snow?


HULK SMASH SNOW!! HULK SMASH THEM ONE BY ONE, IF IT TAKE HOURS…HULK SMASH THEM ALL. THEY SAY NO TWO ALIKE, WELL, THEY LOOK ALIKE WHEN HULK DONE WITH THEM…SMASHED!!

Man…you know, some people look at snow, and they think, "that’s cold. that’s just so cold." But when a scientologist looks at snow…it’s not the same. it’s completely different. It’s like…it’s no longer snow, but…more, I mean…it’s just…that’s no longer snow, this is no longer a chair, that’s no longer a huge green man, but…it’s more. It’s just more. And that’s what it’s like, being me. YOu have to be more, man. You have to be more.

Also my question last week about do you like Stabbing Westward was about a music band heheh, they broke up though, lead singers with a new band called The Dreaming though, check em out!

HULK SUPERMAN THAT OH!



sexyvonpoopy asked:

Which direction will the US economy go in the next few quarters?


HULK THINK…

We know where the economoy’s going. We’ve known for a while. We’ve got charts. We’ve…the answers are there. but you can’t be shown, you have to become. To live it…you have to…

HULK HAD GOOD ANSWER…

It’s nothing you can find out just by sitting, and reading. You have to do it. You have to see the economy the way it should be…and make it that way

HULK THINK YOU POOPHEAD!!

And then…when you see it…in all of its wonderful glory…then…there are no words. There’s just…no words.



Simun asked:

I won’t take responsibility for the itch. But that was me who put your hand in warm water. Does Hulk need a diaper and/or rubber sheets? ha!

HULK UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FEELING HULK’S OWN URINE IN HULK’S OWN PURPLE PANTS!! THIS NOT OVER!! HULK GOING TO SAVE UP BIG BUCKET OF SMASH, AND DUMP IT ON HEAD!!

Urine is…

SHUT UP TOM CRUISE!! HULK SMASH YOU ALSO, BECAUSE HULK SAT THROUGH THREE HOURS OF EYES WIDE SHUT!! AND HULK STILL NOT KNOW WHAT HULK WATCHED OR WHAT TITLE MEAN!!!! HOW CAN EYES BE WIDE SHUT! HOW!! IT NOT POSSIBLE! HULK ANGRY!



xAngelx asked:

Don’t you want me baby, don’t you want me ooooooooooooooooooooooh?

IT TRUE…HULK WORKING AS WAITRESS IN COCKTAIL BAR. HULK FEEL PRETTY DAMN SEXY.

Yeah, we want you. we want you, because…you can’t just sit there. we want your hearts. we want your minds, we want you. we want to eat you alive. We want your souls, your hearts…we…look, it’s better that way. it is. it truly is. If I didn’t believe it…I wouldn’t be here. I’d be off somewhere else. But we want you, we need to get *laughs* We need to get to the heart of you, inside you, and…just…come on down, pal. You’re the next contestant on the price is right, you know? *laughs*  *Laughs more*



chuck20 asked:

Hulk

Can you KO this Cold Spell. I’m ready for spring

HULK HAD COLD ONCE. HULK SNEEZED. SOMETHING CAME OUT OF HULK’S NOSE…IT SCARED HULK. HULK WENT ALL THE WAY THROUGH TISSUE. HULK FELT MOIST. HULK NOT HAPPY. THIS WHY HULK BLOW NOSE ON TOWEL SINCE THEN. TOWEL’S NICE AND SOFT.

Scientologists don’t get sick. We’ve…we’ve stamped out sickness in our bodies. It’s just…the cold germs know they’re not allowed. They don’t get…near us. They know better. I haven’t been sick in three hundred years. And I know what you’re thinking…"Tom, you’re not that old." Well, maybe not to you. Maybe not in…human terms. But Tom Cruise was here when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, and…I just…I don’t get sick, you know. And that’s a blast. I feel great!

*tom cruise jumped on the couch and humped the pillow for fifteen minutes*

And can you get me a new sub nic, there’s a good jade giant.

HULK NOT IN CHARGE OF SUBNIC. IF HULK WAS, HULK’S WOULD BE "HUNG LIKE MASTODON." BUT HULK NOT IN CHARGE. HULK COULD TRY SMASHING, BUT HULK THINK THAT NOT HELP MUCH. HULK SUCK.



Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

Your Hulkness,
As per our previous converations about me joining you in your superheroic struggle, I did as you instructed and sent you a self-addressed stamped envelope for my application for employment form.

Well, I just received the application in the mail and I think there may be a problem.

The application is a torn and crumpled piece of cardboard with the words "Show Hulk how you SMASH!" written on it in crayon, and a place to sign next to a rudimentary "X".

My question is, if I show you how I smash -as it requests on the application, how are you supposed to evaluate my smashing abilities? I mean, last I heard, you were out on the west coast.

Confusedly yours,
-Lucid

MAKE VIDEO OF YOURSELF SMASHING AND POST IT ON THE YOUTUBE. HULK EVAL…EVA…LOOK OVER SMASHING THAT WAY. IF HULK APPROVE, EXPECT ANSWER IN WEEK. HERE HINT: WHEN HULK SMASH, HULK NOT SMASHING THE OBJECT IN FRONT OF HULK. HULK SMASHING OBJECT BELOW OBJECT HULK ATTEMPTING TO SMASH. HULK ZEN LIKE THAT. HULK SMASH ON WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. IT NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT

*Tom Cruise spent ten minutes roaring incoherently and attempting to break a rock with his mind*



JeanGrey92 asked:

Dear Hulk,

What does your diet consist of?

HULK HAVE THEORY ABOUT FOOD: IF HULK CAN BITE IT…IT FOOD. THIS WHY HULK’S COLON CURRENTLY LOOK LIKE LOST AND FOUND AT SHEA STADIUM. WHAT CAN HULK SAY…HULK LIKE TO CHEW.

Scientologists no longer need food. We’re beyond that. We…we just imagine the food in our stomachs. And it could be that way for you, too. If you…man…I wish I could make you realize, but you have to live it. you have to be it. You have to…the food, it’s just…I haven’t had anything to eat since 2001. But look at me now! I’m just…*wild laughter* I’m living the dream, man, living the…this is the life, and you know me, I don’t need food to do what I do, man, who needs it! who needs food!

*wild, uncontrollable laughter followed this, along with montage of songs from Tom Cruises movies. Nobody knows where they were coming from*


HULK THINK YOU AS NUTTY AS TREE FULL OF SQUIRRELS. HULK NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN SMASHING.



RAAARGH, GET HULK AWAY FROM HERE!!!

 


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