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Legendary Focus: The Molecule Man

Damn guys, you are not heeding. You are not heeding AT ALL.

Owen Reece is the most powerful man in the multiverse. Probably about time he got an action figure, don’t you think?

The Molecule man has been a villain, a god, a couch potato, a hero, timid nerd, a multiversal threat, and sometimes just plain bored. When your power is the ability to rearrange the very essence of everything, you can pretty much be whatever you want to be. But even with all that power, he has yet to create an action figure for himself, proving that even crazy powerful guys wearing purple and green costumes with lightning tattoos on their faces need a little help from the toy companies.

The Molecule Man is one of those characters that is so powerful that he’s been used very sparingly, and usually when something REALLY BIG needs to happen. This is a guy that goes bowling with people like Eternity and the Living Tribunal every Wednesday and always rolls a 300 game, so you don’t want to overuse him. His big moments come around every decade or so, and in between those stories he watches a lot of TV. Hey, we all love TV, so finally we’ve got an all-powerful humanoid that we can relate to, unlike Galactus, who is usually all “GALACTUS DID NOT CARE FOR SEASON 4 OF COMMUNITY BECAUSE REASONS.” But when you ask him what specifically he didn’t like he’s like, “DAN HARMON WAS NOT INVOLVED.” Like the show was sooo much worse that year or something.

“GALACTUS DID NOT THINK TROY AND BRITTA’S RELATIONSHIP MADE SENSE FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE.”

Dude, give it a rest,

“ABED AND TROY 4EVER. SO SAYETH GALACTUS.”

Yeah, I … wait, what? They’re just friends. Try skipping to season 5 next time.

“GALACTUS WILL WATCH SEASONS 1-3 ON REPEAT AND THAT IS THE END OF IT.”

If purple lightning bolts are ever “in” again, the Molecule Man will be ready.

Ugh, fine dude. Just … fine.

Anyway, being all-powerful and stuff means that the Molecule Man has not time for bullshit classic versus modern debates. He wears the green jumpsuit with the purple boots and the purple lightning and that’s the end of it. And no, the Molecule Man doesn’t want to hear about how often the color scheme of green and purple was used, because the Salvation Army dropped by last week, and the Molecule Man gave them all of the effs he ever had to give.

When you can wear anything, but you continually wear that, then that’s the look you are really dedicated to. Sometimes there’s a helmet, sometimes there’s no helmet. This is where swapapble heads would be nice. One normal Owen head, and one helmeted-up “Look how evil I am” helmet. And a wand, though he really didn’t need the wand, but he did use a wand, and … just google it, because the wand was a whole thing, and there’s some weird stuff going on with the Molecule Man’s background that is way too difficult to cover in one crappy article.

Pimpin’ ain’t easy, yo.

He made himself a son, okay? And then he dies, and then the son died, and…there was a wand, and … just google it!

Now bring me thirty bitches and some lemonade…and hold the lemonade!

The Molecule Man has been depicted in various sizes, sometimes very short, sometimes taller, but usually in a baggy jumpsuit. A baggy jumpsuit type body would be a nice thing to have, because there are a handful of characters that could be made in that baggy jumpsuit. If the Molecule Man was ever in a rock band, you just know he’d call it “The Baggy Jumpsuit.” Because you can give a nerd tremendous power, but you can’t make him cool.

“GALACTUS THINKS YOU REALLY BRITTA’D THIS ARTICLE.”

Nobody cares what you think. Go choke on a planet.

Not you, Britta. Shhh … no no … not you …

“GALACTUS HAS FEELINGS.”

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