Nothing dulls the cutting edge of technology like the passage of time — ask the pocket calculator.
Not so long ago, the calculator was considered a wonder. The ability to process complex equations quickly and efficiently meant the creatively minded could focus on innovation and not a piece of scratch paper. Take push-button enthusiast and OCD-suffering scientist Noah Kuttler here. Using the humble calculator as his inspiration, he created a battle suit that could analyze his opponent’s weakness, then solidify the dust in the air around him into a weapon to exploit that weakness. The only problem was Kuttler needed to be beaten before the suit could make the analysis. That’s right — before he could win, he had to lose. Sounds like a Hank Williams, Jr. song.
So judging from the above image, Green Arrow’s weakness is a sock in the jaw. Considering Ollie is a regular guy with no powers to speak of, I wouldn’t think you’d need a computer to figure that one out, but hey, he’s the mastermind. Kuttler allowed himself to be trounced by most of the Justice League so he could “calculate” their weaknesses and attack them again at a later date. Seems like a long way to go for a victory, but I guess in a world of Injustice Societies and Anti-Life Equations you gotta make your bones somehow.
After working his way through The Atom, Black Canary, Elongated Man, Green Arrow, and Hawkman, Kuttler gets up the gumption to take on Batman. It ends pretty much how you’d expect, with Batman punching his LED screen in. And while you or I would know well enough to stay down, Kuttler continues to throw himself doe-like into the path of oncoming heroes’ fists. It’s only recently that he’s wised up and dropped the costume persona, transforming himself into a dapper suited underground information broker. Ditching his costume means he gets punched in the head a lot less, but guys in suits make lousy action figures. It’s classic Calculator we collectors want to see immortalized in plastic, and thanks to Fwoosher Rabid_Ewok, the wait is over!
Rabid_Ewok’s Calculator is built on a DC Universe Classics Eclipso body, with the lower arms from Dr. Impossible, the hands from Metron, lower legs from Samurai, and a head from Hawk. The computer on his chest and back is a combination of styrene and Apoxie Sculpt. It’s a great representation of the character — with its sleek design and eye-catching colors, Calculator could easily be from some “lost wave” of DCUC we never received. Much like the modern Marvel Legends line, this is a classic character easily realized with just a new head and torso overlay. But the goodness doesn’t stop there.
Just like his comic counterpart, the Calculator can manifest deadly weapons like missiles and boxing gloves. In this case the missile is manifested from an ink pen, styrene, Apoxie Sculpt, flames from a Human Torch figure, and a clear plastic dowel. The boxing glove is all sculpt around a dowel. The dowels plug into a hole in the front of the figures head, meaning no hero is safe.
The Calculator, while dated, would make a great addition to any DC collectors action figure shelf. He’s got a terrific design which makes him stand out among the other villains, while still being “basic” enough to look like he belongs. I know I’d stand him front and center of my B-List Bad Guys shelf — Copperhead and Shark will just have to move over. Calculator is one of those kooky characters from another time that continues to charm even the hardest-hearted cynics among us — he presses big blue buttons on his chest to make his powers work! How could you not love that? Join me know, and say it loud so they can hear it outside: come on, DCC! Make my Mort!
Thanks to Rabid_Ewok for allowing us to feature his work. For more of his great customs, check out his thread in the Fwoosh customs forum here.
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