Your Home for Toy News and Action Figure Discussion!

Top Five Most-Essential Vehicles for a 6-inch G.I. Joe Line

G-I-Joe-gi-joe-2173835-1280-960 (477x173) (477x173)It could possibly be considered either “greedy” or “impossible” to want vehicles for a 6 inch G.I. Joe line. The 6 inch scale is usually not set up for vehicles, and if we do get one—like the Star Wars Speeder Bike—it’s usually very small, and comparing anything to the massive merchandising juggernaut that is Star Wars is crazy. However, I’ve never claimed to be bogged down by “reality” and all the inherent logic traps therein. I’m talking perfect world situation here, where a 6-inch GI Joe line is not only an inevitability, but a certainty. And in this wishful thinking-laden dream world, There are five vehicles that, to me, represent exactly what I’d be happy with for the G.I. Joe line.

In coming up with this list, while I didn’t let myself be completely hampered by that pesky thing called “reality,” I did allow for a certain level of improbability. In other words, planes and helicopters are out. Unfortunately that meant the Rattlers and the SkyStrikers got crossed off pretty quickly. Which is ok, because I have to admit, it’s much more fun to play on land. That left me with a huge assortment of vehicles. Then I started thinking iconic. What, to me, was iconic GI Joe. When I think of a Joe or a Cobra riding around, shooting at each other, what is the first thing I think of.

Obviously, the MOBAT popped into my head first, but the size it would have to be immediately pushed it into Improbableland.

Bu that still left me with plenty. Therefore, in no particular order, I bring you the five vehicles I’d be happiest to get in a 6-inch Joe line.

The Cobra Ferret

The Ferret was one of the most versatile Cobra vehicles, and one of my favorites. It works for anyone regardless of whether they’re the rank and file troopers, Dreadnoks or one of the upper-level name-brand bad guys like Firefly or Scrap Iron. While it offers very little in terms of protection for anybody riding on it, it does deliver speed, mobility, missiles and a big gun. I spent hours upon hours zipping this thing around on the floor while Joes shot at it or got run over by it. Best of all, a vehicle of this size would benefit and not be too cost-prohibitive if it came with an extra figure of some sort. While there was no “Ferret Driver,” maybe a specially decorated Viper could be created to be sold exclusively with the Ferret. Either way, with or without, this would be a must-have for me.



The Multi-Purpose Attack Vehicle (ok, so the Joes were dyslexic) was the first of several all-terrain vehicles that would get trotted out. The V.A.M.P. would later get a Mark II, and then would be followed by the A.W.E Striker. While any of those three would be more than welcome, the original V.A.M.P. Is the one that sits closest to my ideal Joe vehicle. The best thing about this vehicle is that there’s only a small sideways retool if they wanted to pump out a Mark II. This vehicle would have to come with a Clutch figure, just like a possible Mark II would have to come with Clutch’s second version figure.



Did I say tanks were improbable? Well, maybe, but let’s pretend I didn’t. Of all the Cobra vehicles, the H.I.S.S. defines their role as the enemy. While I have deep respect for the Stinger and the Stun, the unique and immediately identifiable silhouette of the H.I.S.S. elevated the entire property into something more than just poseable army men. I was deeply affected by the artwork on the cards and boxes of those old vehicles, and the determining factor of which vehicle I wanted was usually made by how evocative the art was. The H.I.S.S. had this coiled up intensity of a snake about to strike, with those twin cannons like fangs. This was a dangerous vehicle, standing in stark contrast to the military green of the Joe vehicles. It’s so dangerous that the leader of Cobra himself was willing to ride on the back of it with impunity.

While a H.I.S.S. in 6-inch scale would no doubt take up a lot of real estate, it would be worth it. Add in the driver in all his mysterious red and black splendor and I’d be in heaven.



The Cobra forces have their Ferret, so the Joes need something equally maneuverable to counter it. That’s where the R.A.M. Comes in. While there were motorcycles that came later, the R.A.M. wins out over the Silver Bullet because it lacks the sidecar. It’s just stripped down and lean, with a heavy duty machine gun as the only passenger. If most of these vehicles are off the table due to expense, I can’t see how the R.A.M. wouldn’t be able to squeak by due to size. Hell, once upon a time we got bikes as pack-ins with their respective vehicles in Marvel Legends. It may not have the cinematic cache of the Speeder Bike, but who doesn’t love a good toy motorcycle? Terrorists, that’s who.
Thunder Machine

So many choices for the fifth and final slot. Should I go with something like the C.L.A.W.? What about something simple like Zartan’s Chameleon? Even the Cobra F.A.N.G. Might have a shot. But for me, if five slots and five slots alone were all I had, then I’d have to go with the most decidedly unmilitaristic vehicle of them all. Taking general Mad Max-flavored theme of the Dreadnoks to its most natural conclusion, the Thunder Machine epitomized that dangerous, scrounged together, homicidal punk rock biker-gang street trash outlook the Dreadnoks had. Armor plated, with twin gatling guns and a noisy disposition, it was rude, it was smelly, it was arrogant and it was the coolest vehicle to be released in 1986. All the other vehicles on this list have a utilitarian purpose, whether to intimidate, to transport or to pound into submission. But the Thunder Machine had personality, and had it in spades. Include Thrasher with it, or make it into a deluxe SDCC boxset with the first five Dreadnoks for a bajillion dollars, but get this out there.

So there it is. There are so many vehicles, this could have been a top ten or top fifteen. I have tons of the originals, and narrowing it down meant leaving off things like the Wolverine or Armadillo or any number of other vehicles that I loved. But top five it was and so top five it is. Have a different list? Let’s hear what you have to say in the comment section.