The alphabet: twenty-six characters that form the basis for how English-speaking people leave comments under youtube videos of cats being cute. But does it have other uses? We at Fwoosh — specifically me — will be testing our theory that the alphabet can also be used to promulgate certain lists that are made up of wishes for characters.
In other words, it’s a big, long wishlist article, folks, this time in alphabetical order for your convenience. Twenty-six letters in the alphabet, twenty-six villains that have never had a 6-inch action figure. Marvel Legends needs to pump out some of these bag guys so our good guys will have people to fight. Can I do it? Will I get stumped around the leter J? I don’t know; let’s find out!
He’s been a watery bone of contention for the Avengers and Namor and anybody else who swims in his part of the fishbowl. Attuma has a great unique look and would make a cool toy.
OK, this one’s an obvious one, since he’s already had a prototype make an appearance. He’s almost there, so close that one could taste him if one were in such a mood.
If you don’t believe he’s necessary, then pop over to this convenient article I’ve already centered around him. Cliff’s notes version: major Spidey villain with a long, long history, and he almost got his own toy a while ago under ToyBiz. It’s his turn to shine.
Ignore the classic-versus-modern debate, this one always heralds (classic, please) and just focus on the fact that he is iconic and the D whose absense is most palpable.
I know, I know, the ’90s sucked and all that cliché stuff, but Exodus was a big deal for a major chunk of mutant stories there for a while, and I’m all inclusive, putting aside my own desires for Egghead or Eel to placate the rabid crowd of ’90s mutant devotees. He got a 5-incher, why not a 6?
Fixer’s career really blossomed once he joined the Thunderbolts. Maybe he’s a good guy now, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t one of the top bastards, and he deserves to have that fact lauded with plastic.
This guy has been a world class threat and has been featured in many great stories. It’s impossible to comprehend how we don’t have him yet. He’s essential.
While not technically the most villainous character, High Evolutionary’s staunch dedication to pursuing his own goals regardless of the effects on others definitely doesn’t make him a hero. He’s unique, has endured, and just narrowly beat out Hammerhead.
The brute strength of the U-Foes, Ironclad would make an undeniably great looking figure. Plus this pretty much seals up my V and X spots later on, so win win.
He’s been responsible for some of the darkest moments in Spider-Man’s life. Hell, he was responsible for the clone saga, so he pretty much gets the “villain of the century” award just for that.
For some reason the Serpent Society doesn’t seem to be in the cards. But we could at least get some snaky representation with this one-time leader and all-time slimy creep.
Iron Man doesn’t seem to get enough villains. Sure, we’ve gotten a few good ones, but Living Laser is a prominent missing one.
One of the most powerful members of the Marvel Universe, this short, scar-faced little dude is way more dangerous than he seems. Molecule Man has fought and defeated pretty much everyone… until he lost. He’s not too good with the winning sometimes.
A big pink and white robot from the future. Some may laugh, some may scoff, some may be afraid of the color pink, but Nimrod was a dangerous X-Men enemy and has media appearances to back him up.
He’s the guy Wolverine stole his hair from. He’s always creeping around in the background of New York crime, shuffling and stealing and plotting. Daredevil needs someone to punch. And then we need a new Daredevil.
This was almost Purple Man and almost Puppet Master, but I had to give the edge to Psycho-Man and his funky emotion-controlling powers.
OK, Q gave me some trouble, and I couldn’t use the technicality of Quicksilver because we already got him. But Quasimodo made enough of a dent that he qualifies for a slot on this list, even if only by alphabetic virtue. He’s not the biggest name, but I’d buy him.
The hat. You gotta love the hat. Ringmaster’s been kicking around for a long, long time and just narrowly beat out the Red Ghost for this slot. Maybe I was hypnotized into giving it to him. Who knows.
There are a ton of “S” characters that could be made, but Silver Samurai seems like the most toyetic. While Stryfe was heavily rumored for a while, and Speed Demon would be welcome to buddy-up with Boomerang, Silver Samurai is another in the “got a prototype” list that needs to have an even better prototype made and mass-produced. Dude was in a movie. Give him 6 inches.
There is nobody else that can fill this slot. Thanos Thanos Thanos. He’s a superstar now. He’s ready for his close up.
No, I didn’t say Ultron, even though he technically hasn’t been made yet. This rock troll would make a great figure.
Another U-Foe to go with Ironclad and has a funky visual style.
A longstanding villain who was responsible in part for the Acts of Vengeance and has appeared many times fighting pretty much everyone. With a big helmet because he wants to make the Pope jealous.
The final really important U-Foe member. This is such a toyetic team; it needs to be a thing.
Wait, am I cheating? No! There was an evil female that was once a Yellowjacket. And good thing, too, because the “Y” category is pretty slim.
“Z” could be nothing but Zzzax. It was written in the stars or something. A big electrical guy that they could make translucent as long as he wasn’t fragile, Zzzax would make an awesome-looking chunk of electrical toy in another age and another lifetime where such a thing had a chance.
Well, there you have it. Some bumpy areas where you can tell I did not think this experiment through enough, but, all in all, twenty-six figures who are plenty toyworthy. Would you choose differently? Pour some alphabet soup and let me know what you would do differently!