‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Fwoosh
Not a creature was stirring, or being a douche;
The wishlists were posted in every forum everywhere
In hopes that St. Nicholas would even care.
The fwooshers were refreshing, red-eyed and bleary
waiting for new posts made them damned weary
And veebs in her ‘kerchief, and Robo and his cap
just woke up pabs with a quick ninja slap
When in the marvel forum there arose such a clatter,
Samuron sprang from his bed and said “what’s the matter??”
Away to his computer he flew, knocking over the Flash
to load the fwoosh quickly, his teeth beginning to gnash
The glare off Carrot top’s muscly chest greeted him there
along with the barest hint of orange pubic hair
some bastard had changed his desktop while he was away
for sure…some fool’s gonna have to pay
meanwhile pabs had killed robo and veebee for ruining his nap
He wasn’t going to deal with any of this crap
that’s why he had a staff to keep this place clean
like some kind of well-trained smooth-running machine
“I pay you to…no wait…I don’t pay you at all!”
and laughed a pabsy laugh, what nerve, what gall!
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now mod 1 and 2 and 3 and 4
and you there, and new guy and a couple more
To the top of the index, in every forum I say!
Now ban away! ban away! ban these fools away!”
And with brittle bones, zombie Robo and veebee grunted to life
now there was no way to tell which one was the wife
the ban button gleamed before them…they remembered it well
in their undead stupor they rang the ban-hammer bell
and posters disappeared by the dozen, by the score
and soon they were gone, they were no more
Meanwhile Samuron had gotten over his orange-hued fright
and finally loaded fwoosh this drama-fraught night
and saw no posters, had fwoosh gone down?
but Robo and Veebee shambled toward him, scraping the ground
grunting and groaning for brains, any size, and shape
oh noes! Says he, there was no escape
He hit F5 over and over, hoping fwoosh would load
how he expected that to save him who the hell knows
their eyes, how they twinkled, their cheeks, hollow and grey
their skin was like ash, noses eaten away
a lot of putrefaction for so little time undead
and for this samuron got out of bed!!??
Screw this! he said, and closed his computer, swinging it around
bashing them again and again, pound! pound! pound!
Pabs stumbled in, “can you please be quiet
It’s hard to sleep with such a riot!”
Robo wasn’t yet dead, and wouldn’t you know
he still had a pretty strong undead rochambeau
Samuron gripped his berries with tears in his eyes
good grief that was a horrible surprise
and the banned fwooshers began to reappear
having nothing else to do but come back here
Pabs had pushed the reset button, the server winced once
“Now try not to wake me again, you dunce!”
He gave a nod, shuffled off to bed
Samuron Veebee and Robo nodded, the latter pair no longer dead
Fwoosh was back, all was the way it had been
Samuron’s computer showed Carrot top again
And we heard pabs exclaim as he lumbered away
“Happy Christmas you bunch of weirdos, don’t wake me until New Year’s day!!”
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