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HULK READY FOR HOLIDAYS!

HULK LIKE FESTIVUS!! ESPECIALLY FEATS OF STRENGTH!

Simun asked:

I asked Teela about your "encounter" and while she wouldn’t confirm she did mention "small and inadequate". And what does "two pump chump" mean?

ps
Been there, done that. You can take my sloppy seconds any day

RAARGH, HULK NOT KNOW WHAT "INAQUADUCT" IS, BUT HULK NOT SMALL! HULK GOT EYEWITNESSES WHEN HULK’S PANTS FALL DOWN ON TELEVISION!! NOBODY LISTEN TO THIS MAN! AND HULK ALSO NOT KNOW WHAT TWO PUMP CHUMP IS. HULK CAN ONLY GUESS IT MEAN HULK IS FANTASTIC LOVER, CAUSE HULK IS FANTASTIC LOVER. MAYBE IT MEANS HOW MANY TIMES WOMAN PUMP FIST AFTER BEING WITH HULK. BUT THEN HULK CURIOUS ABOUT "CHUMP" PART. HULK THINK TEELA HAVE ISSUES. PLUS EVIL-LYN FAR WILDER. SO HULK GLADLY LET HE-MAN HAVE BORING GIRL.



hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK,
If you try to fail and you succeed, which have you done?

RAAARGH, YOU WASTED A DAY!!

CaptainMark-Vell asked:

Dear Hulk,
I got this girl who I have been trying to date for about a month or two, but she has a lot of baggage, my friends say I shouldn’t try and pursue her anymore, but I myself have a lot of baggage too, so I figured they would even each other out, what do you think?

HULK THINK HULK CAN ANSWER THIS WITH SIMPLE STORY. IMAGINE YOU GO TO AIRPORT. YOU GOT BAGGAGE…GIRL GOT BAGGAGE…YOU PUT BAGGAGE ON LITTLE CART. CART NOW HEAVY! YOU TRY TO MOVE CART, CART WON’T MOVE!



WHAT HULK’S POINT?



RAARGH, YOU SHOULD TRY TO DATE THE CART, NOT THE BAGGAGE!!



johnny_b asked:

Who would you want to … ummm…have dinner with ?

1) Madame Hydra

2) Emma Frost

3) Poison from the Final Fight games ?

HULK GONNA SAY EMMA, ‘CAUSE HULK HEAR SHE READ MINDS, AND THAT WAY HULK CAN SKIP SMALL TALK AND GO STRAIGHT TO WHAT ON HULK’S MIND. AND EVERYONE KNOW WHAT ON HULK’S MIND. HULK’S MIND ALWAYS ON ONE THING, AND ONE THING ONLY.



OKAY, HULK FORGOT WHAT WAS ON HIS MIND, OR WHAT THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT. AND HULK NOT ABOUT TO GO BACK AND READ IT AGAIN. THAT HOW HULK ROLL.



Mern-Ra asked:

Heya Hulk!

What are your thoughts on the writers’ strike in Hollywood and when do you think it’s gonna end?

HULK THINK WRITER’S STRIKE MEAN HULK MISS EPISODES OF HULK’S FAVORITE SHOW, AND THAT HULK HAVE TO SIT THROUGH BUNCH OF REJECT REALITY SHOWS. RAAARGH, THEY MAKE HULK ANGRY. HULK NOT CARE ABOUT PEOPLE DANCING, OR SINGING, OR JUGGLING, OR WHATEVER IT IS PEOPLE DO. BUT IT PROBABLY HULK’S LUCK THAT STRIKE END RIGHT BEFORE HULK GETS HIS OWN REALITY SHOW. HULK ALREADY KNOW TITLE. "GREEN DAYS". IT IN NO WAY SIMILAR TO BAND. IT PLAY ON WORDS. OR SOMETHING. CAMERA CREW FOLLOW HULK AROUND ALL DAY, HULK BECOME FAMOUS. EXCEPT NO CAMERA IN HULK’S BATHROOM. THAT’S HULK’S PRIVATE SPACE!



Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

Hulk,

Are you going to the holiday party at Tony Stark’s pad???

It’s supposed to be "Off the chizzle fo’rizzle"!

If you are…

Can I catch a ride???
(My hovercraft blew a thermal induction ring.)

I’m cool with riding on your shoulders.

HULK NOT KNOW WHAT CHIZZLE IS. ALSO, HULK NOT GET INVITATION. HULK ASSUME IT LOST IN MAIL, SO HULK GOING TO SHOW UP ANYWAY. MONKEY WELCOME TO RIDE ON HULK’S SHOULDERS, BUT HULK INSTALL THE SEATBELT THIS TIME. LAST TIME HULK CARRIED SOMEONE SHOULDER EXPRESS PERSON FELL OFF. IT…IT WAS AN AWKWARD BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT DAY ESPECIALLY SINCE "PERSON" GUEST OF HONOR.



AlphaPrime asked:

Hulk, which do you prefer, Rob Thomas solo songs or the Matchbox Twenty songs?

HULK PREFER SOOTHING SOUND OF NAIL BEING HAMMERED SLOWLY INTO HULK’S EAR, AND THEN PULLED BACK OUT AGAIN.

PS you should SOOOOOOO get a myspace page, then we can all add you as a friend or even bully you over it, one of us could even pretend to be Tony Stark.

WHO SAYS HULK NOT HAVE MYSPACE? HULK HAVE MYSPACE PAGE FOUR WEEKS NOW, ALREADY HAVE 3 MILLION FRIENDS. SUCK IT, TILA TEQUILA!! HULK CAN SHOW BOOBIES AND MAKE FRIENDS ALSO!



sexyvonpoopy asked:

Hulk,
I’m trying to sell chocolate covered garlic to the general masses and I’m having a tough time making a sale.
What can I do?

TELL PUBLIC THAT THERE THREAT OF DIABETIC VAMPIRES! PEOPLE BUY THEM BY THE CASE! THE JUST-IN-CASE! RAARGH, HULK MADE PUN. HULK HATE PUN. HULK HATE SELF!



MetalLuna asked:

Hulk,
Do you decorate yourself for Christmas?

RAARGH, HULK PUT MISTLETOE ON BELT, ASK GIRLS TO KISS UNDER IT. RAAARGH, HULK’S TRIAL IS COMING UP SHORTLY…

 


 RAAARGH, KISS HULK!!


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