Hmm, a character with one arm…. Slot machine jokes are played out. Already did a couple of masturbation jokes last week. Well, I’m out of material. Come on in and let’s arm wrassle with Belasco. Psst. Don’t mention his missing arm. He hates that.
Last week’s poll recap: I’m crushed to report that with 45%, you chose Classic X-51 as your android of choice. Second place went to the not-all-that-different 80’s/90’s version with 29%. Of course, if Hasbro wanted to make everyone happy, they’d also give us a modern X-51 as part of a Next Wave boxed set. I’m just sayin’.
Last week’s article: http://www.thefwoosh.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=545&Itemid=1
Last week’s poll: http://www.thefwoosh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=41477
Make My Marvel! – Belasco
Originally a 13th century alchemist, Belasco became the servant of the Elder Gods, demonic entities from another dimension. In exchange for his servitude, the Elder Gods gave Belasco immortality, along with his demonic appearance and powers. Despite all this new power, Belly got his ass handed to him by Dante of Dante’s Inferno fame. Alas, there would be no royalty checks for Belasco who was frozen in suspended animation… inside a volcano. Yep. No forseeable way for him to get out of that one. Nossir.
Belasco was freed again :shockgasp: in the twentieth century, where he promptly got his keyster kicked again by Shanna and Kazar, this time getting him trapped in Limbo. Always one to turn lemons into lemonade, Belly eventually conquered Limbo and ruled with an iron fist… but only one ‘cause the other arm got torn off in an incident involving Vaseline and a giraffe rectum. He doesn’t like to talk about it.
Belasco was living the good life: all the hot beer he could drink and re-runs of Family Matters on the tube (You thought they saved those just for Hell, didn’t you?). Then, the X-Men showed up and ruined Belasco’s $hit yet again. He did manage to turn Colossus’ kid sister Illyana into demonically-powered jailbait, so he likes to call that one a draw. This kicked off Belasco’s unhealthy obsession with the teenager, which led to one particularly awkward segment on NBC’s To Catch a Predator. The episode never aired, but you can still find the clip on Youtube.
Belasco’s plans of bloody retribution on Chris Jansen were cut short when he found himself out of favor with the Elder Gods and was cast into Hell. He eventually fought his way back to Limbo and learned that Illyana, now Magik, or an alternate version of her, might be back from the dead. Belasco was last seen taunting the X-crowd again, hoping to draw the new Magik out into the open.
Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way right now: there is almost no chance this guy will be made for mass market ML. Even though he’s not the Devil, he too closely resembles the classic visual of Satan for retailers like Wal-Mart to feel comfortable stocking him on their shelves. It’s doubtful that any mass market retailer would carry action figures like that. Marvel Select? That’s a distinct possibility. Plus, the no-doubt snazzy limbo base complete w/ Wolverine skeleton & shackled, torn-open Colossus corpse would rock all kinds of booty. Internet retailer exclusive HML? Also possible as Hasbro has said that they’re open to the internet exclusives idea but probably only if they can do it on the cheap with a lot of part re-use. At least they can save money on that second arm.
However we get him, Belasco needs to come with a molded cape and his sword- Maybe even a little, mildly-articulated Illyana Rasputin figure. Not Magik, of course. She’ll need her own ML release. If Hasbro does bring back the Face-offs, an internet exclusive Belasco vs. Magik 2-pack would be the ideal way to get both of these legends.
How do you want to get your Belasco?
A. Mass Market: as part of a standard ML wave despite what steps might be needed to make him mass-market friendly (i.e. loss of horns/tail, color, etc.).
B. Internet E-tailer exclusive: (likely some part re-use).
C. Marvel Select: (possible issues with scale and limited articulation; better base/accessories).
D. Don’t care, so long as I get one.
E. No thanks! The figure would give me nightmares.
Head on over to the MakeMyMarvel thread in the Negative Zone to cast your vote. There you can tell me how wrong I am about Belasco’s marketabillity and make suggestions for future MMMs!