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HULK BACK AND HULK ALONE!!

HULK GOT LIGHT LOAD THIS TIME. GONNA GET TO IT, THEN HULK GONNA WATCH HULK’S MOVIE. AND THEN HULK FIND NICK NOLTE, GIVE HIM HAIRCUT!!

VanillaBlue asked:

Hulk, Some old guy told me that incontinence is nothing to joke about. He is wrong, correct? I mean, peeing your pants is comedy "gold", yes?

HULK THINK SO. NOW THAT HULK THINK ABOUT IT, HULK’S PEE IS GOLD. HULK THINK HULK NEEDS MORE WATER. HULK BEEN TAKING MULTI-VITAMINS, MAYBE HULK NEEDS TO CUT BACK. MAYBE HULK DRINK TOO MUCH ORANGE JUICE.

 


MARVEL KNIGHT 2099 asked:

Dear Hulk, What did Cyclops, Ms. Marvel and Tigra do to you inorder to beon your hitlist? And is there any specific reason Spiderman is there too?

HULK RUN DOWN LIST:

CYCLOPS IS ON LIST BECAUSE CYCLOPS NAIL BOTH JEAN GREY AND EMMA FROST. HULK JUST NOT THINK THAT RIGHT AT ALL. WONDERS WHY HE NOT JUST ADD KITTY PRYDE TO LIST AND MAKE CLEAN SWEEP. PLUS, CYCLOPS MUTANT. HULK SICK OF THOSE GUYS.

MS. MARVEL ON LIST BECAUSE HULK TIRED OF HER WISHY WASHY NAME CHANGES. BINARY, MS. MARVEL, WARBIRD…RAAARGH, PICK ONE! HULK NOT CHANGE NAME. HULK ALWAYS HULK. HULK NOT NEED TO BE ANYONE ELSE…EXCEPT JOE FIXIT, BUT THAT ANOTHER STORY.

TIGRA…HULK JUST WANT TO NAIL TIGRA. NO REASON. AND SPIDER-MAN DUMB. HULK WANT TO HIT HIM JUST BECAUSE HE GOT PLAYED BY STARK, REVEALED IDENTITY. BONEHEAD.

 


hellspawn asked:

Dear HULK, Can you fully digest corn? Have you ever checked?

HULK AFRAID TO LOOK. HULK THINK IT LIKE MINING FOR GOLD. HULK GOT PHIL…PHILO…GOT SAYING. ONCE IT OUT OF HULK’S BODY, IT’S NONE OF HULK’S BUSINESS.


 

simmo asked:

Hulk, If i were to marry your old love Jarella, would I have your blessing?

HULK THINK YOU NEED BLESSING. HULK THINK YOU NEED PRIEST. AND DOCTOR. AND UNDERTAKER. HULK SAY NEVER SQUEEZE ANOTHER MAN’S MELON!!!


 

Chase asked:

To my dearest Hulk Some of us got to talking and we think our very own Kirk could trade blows with you, and possibly win. Do you fear Kirk? And what other Fwooshers do you think would be a challenge for you?

HULK NOT AFRAID OF KIRK. HULK SCARED POOPLESS OF BRATPOP. HULK THINK HE MAKE HULK QUESTION HIS OWN EXISTENCE, FIND ADAMANTIUM BULLET, HULK PUT SELF OUT OF MISERY. HULK THINK BRATPOP NEED TO LEARN ABOUT PARAGRAPH BREAKS!!!


GRANDPA asked:

MISTER HULK SIR DO YOU SPENT YOUR SUNDAYS BY EATING GREEN PEA SOUP?

HOW YOU KNOW? HULK THINK YOU LIVING IN HULK’S WALLS. HULK HEARS NOISES AT NIGHT, HULK KNOWS IT’S YOU. HULK SCARED!!!

 


creepybaldguy asked:

Hulk, why does grampa type in all caps?

BECAUSE GRANDPA’S HEAD IS COLD!


 

Simun asked:

Is there anything funny about premature ejaculation?

IT DEPENDS ON WHERE HULK JR. IS POINTING!

 


xAngelx asked:

Which group have a better selection of songs, Pussycat Dolls or Girls Aloud? I’m quite partial to Girls Aloud myself.

HULK NEVER LISTENED TO EITHER GROUP, BUT IF HULK HAD TO CHOOSE WHICH GROUP TO SHARE A LOVELY EVENING WITH, HULK HAVE TO CHOOSE GIRLS ALOUD. BUT HULK STAND BY THE PHONE, PHONE NEVER RING. APPARENTLY NO HULK’S ALOUD EITHER. AND HULK THINK HULK SPELLED THAT WRONG, BUT CAN’T TELL. ENGLISH NOT HULK’S STRONG SUIT.


 

pablolobo asked:

Hulk, Who do you like better? Yellow Hair funny talking man with hammer? Or silly man dressed like spider that not stop jumping and talking?

MAN WITH YELLOW HAIR SEXIER. WAIT…FORGET HULK SAID THAT. OH MAN, HULK HOPES THIS DOESN’T COME UP AT NEXT AVENGERS REUNION.

 


riseROBOTrise asked:

Should they keep calling New Custom Tuesday that, when it almost never comes out on Tuesdays anymore? Do you think it should be called New Custom Sometime This Week, maybe?

HULK THINK THERE NEED TO BE A NEW CUSTOM. NOW, WHENEVER PERSON STICK OUT HAND FOR HANDSHAKE, OTHER PERSON LICK PALM. THIS SHOULD ADD VARIETY TO LIFE. HULK THINK THIS WHY NEW CUSTOMS RARELY TAKE HOLD.


 

chuck20 asked: Hulk, my one year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up soon, what should I buy her? I really don’t have much money, but i really want to show her how much I care. I think if anyone can help me, its you.

HULK THINK YOU SHOULD REMEMBER BACK TO WHEN AND WHERE YOU FIRST MET, AND PRESENT GIRL WITH MEMENTO FROM THAT TIME. SOMETHING PERSONALIZED JUST FOR HER. THERE’S A REASON HULK IS SINGLE.


 

sexyvonpoopy asked:

how much effort should i put in preparation for the local ,winners move to nationals, spelling bee?

HULK HAS NEVER SEEN A SPELLING BEE. HULK HAS ONCE SEEN A BEE THAT LIKED TO CORRECT HULK’S GRAMMAR! HE WAS ANNOYING. BUT HULK HAS NEVER SEEN SPELLING BEE.


 

xAngelx asked:

Where can I get adult size Power Ranger suits?

HULK THINK PLENTY OF EX-RANGERS PROBABLY RETIRED, CAN BUY IT OFF THEM FOR SMALL AMOUNT. DARK TIME IN ACTORS LIFE WHEN HE PLAYS RANGER. PROBABLY WANTS TO FORGET.

Also how can I shed some of the extra lbs? You don’t seem to have a problem with your weight, you always look so buff.

HULK THINK IT SIMPLE.

1. FIND ARMY

2. PISS ARMY OFF

3. SPEND REST OF LIFE RUNNING FROM ARMY!!!! RAAARGH HULK’S LIFE SUCKS!!


 

Simun asked: how many shakes at a urinal is considered appropriate?

USUALLY TAKES TWO BEFORE URINAL COMPLETELY SMASHED!!


 

meatloaf of darkness asked: Dear hulk, Do dogs like caramel? If I pour it on the inside of my thighs will a dog lick it off?

HULK THINK YOUR PROBLEMS MORE THAN SIMPLE QUESTION CAN SOLVE.

Also, is there anyway to help a sore jaw?

YEAH, HULK THINKS YOU SHOULD STOP LICKING CARAMEL OFF OF DOG’S THIGHS. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!


 

GRANDPA asked:

MISTER HULK DO YOU READ YOUR HULK COMICS WHEN YOU GO TO THE CAN

STRANGELY ENOUGH HULK ONLY READS IRON MAN COMICS. HULK MAKING LIST OF WEAKNESSES. HULK GOT GREEN FOOT FOR IRON BUTT. GONNA BE READY.


 

Lucid Silverback esq. asked:

Speaking of the can, Hulk, I assume you have a special reinforced vibranium throne to support your Gamma dumps? Did you obtain it from Stark Enterprises, or is it S.H.I.E.L.D. issue?

WELL…

Actually, Hulk… Don’t answer that.

RAAARGH HULK’S JOB JUST GOT EASIER!!


 

Pendragon Concepts asked: Hulk, Does the forest match the trees?

RAAARGH!! ONLY HULK CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES!!! HULK NEEDS A WOMAN…


 

long_road asked:

Hulk, how come god got banned from the fwoosh for doing exactly what you now have a sticky for?

HULK’S COMICS SELL BETTER. GOD’S COMIC GOT CANCELLED QUICKLY. ALSO, GOD DIDN’T HAVE PETER ALAN DAVID WRITING FOR HIM. HULK ALWAYS LIKED HIM. DO GOOD FOR HULK.


 

Simun asked: should the threads on politics and religion remain in the bar?

HULK THINK THEY WASTE OF TIME. HULK THINK THEY ONLY WAY TO FURTHER LABEL SELVES, AND HULK WONDERS WHY PEOPLE ALWAYS NEED LABELS. CHRISTIAN, NON CHRISTIAN, CONSERVATIVE, LIBERAL, DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN–ALL OF YOU TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN TO HULK. NOT THAT HULK EAT YOU. MAYBE.

HAHAHAHA!

BUT POINT REMAINS…PUNY HUMANS NEVER GOING TO RAISE TO NEXT LEVEL IF THEY INSIST ON DIVIDING THEMSELVES UP. HULK NOT HAVE PROBLEM WITH INDIVIDUALITY, BUT HULK THINK CLAIMS TO "SEE OTHER PEOPLE’S POINT OF VIEW" JUST WORDS. HULK THINK IT MORE TO DO WITH TRYING TO CHANGE OTHERS MINDS. AND THAT NOT HAPPEN. BOTH SIDES THINK THEY RIGHT. BOTH SIDES ALWAYS THINK THEY RIGHT. EVERYTHING BATTLE TO BE MORE RIGHT. HULK OFTEN WONDER WHEN THERE’S TWO SIDES FIGHTING TO BE RIGHT, THERE HAS TO BE AN ULTIMATE WINNER. WELL, HULK WONDER’S WHAT THE SIDE THAT’S MORE RIGHT THINKS IT WIN?

…THIS WHY HULK STICK TO SMASHING.

HULK THINKS HEAR HELICOPTERS IN DISTANCE. GOTTA GO!!

ASK HULK QUESTIONS!

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