HULK BRING ALONG FRIEND FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE TO HELP WITH QUESTIONS! SAY HEY TO BIZARRO!!
Me am not happy to be here.
ISN’T HE ADORABLE!! BIZARRO TEXT ITALICIZED, WHILE HULK AS ALWAYS BOLD. BECAUSE HULK BOLD!!
Vanilla Blue asked:
Hulk,
Ben Grimm told me that you’re little more than talk and green skin. Care to comment?
RAAARGH HULK NOT LISTEN TO ROCKSKIN IF HULK WERE YOU. HULK HEAR ROCKSKIN DREAM ABOUT HULK, PEE BED AT NIGHT. HULK THINK STONE HEAD JEALOUS. HULK GOT FANCY CGI EFFECTS FOR MOVIE, ROCKBOY GOT THE COMMISH. HULK WIN!!! SCORE HULK 1 ROCKBRAIN NOTHING!!!
Me am not waiting for question to answer.
QUIET BIZARRO. THIS HULK’S SHOW.
Bizarro am bird, am plane, am Superman!!
meatloaf of darkness asked:
Dear hulk,
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
HULK NOT SETTLE FOR ONE FLAVOR. HULK LIKE STACK DECK, BUILD CONE BIG AS HULK, BUT THEN HULK DROP THE CONE, FALL ON THE GROUND, HULK GROW SAD, THAN HULK GROW ANGRY. THEN HULK SMASH ONE OF THE DAKOTA’S, EITHER NORTH OR SOUTH, DEPENDING ON HULK’S MOOD. WHY WE NEED TWO, HULK NOT KNOW.
Me hate ice cream. Me think ice cream taste like sawdust and fax machine.
HULK THINK BIZARRO NEED LIE DOWN.
Pendragon Concepts asked:
Hulk,
Couple of quick questions:
Diet or Regular
HULK IS A REGULAR. HULK NOT NEED DIET!!
Smooth or Crunchy
HULK SMOOTH. HULK PIMP. HULK GOT IT GOIN’ ON!!
Leaded or Unleaded
HULK ON FULL OCTANE!!
And when are you planning on Rochambeauin’ that moron joke of a President, Bush?
HULK NOT FAN OF POLITICS. GOVERNMENT WON’T LET HULK VOTE. APPARENTLY HULK NOT TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC. HULK THINK GOVERNOR CONAN SHOULD BE PRESIDENT. HULK LIKE HIM IN THAT MOVIE WHERE HE ROBOT FROM FUTURE. KINDERGARTEN COP, HULK THINK NAME OF IT WAS.
simmo asked:
Hulk, you play tennis don’t you? We all know you can Smash, but can you volley?
TENNIS CONFUSE HULK! HULK HEARD SOMEONE SCREAM OUT "SERVE THE BALL!!" SO HULK PUT IT ON TRAY, WRAPPED TOWEL OVER ARM, AND SERVED THE BALL. BUT JUST ONE. HULK SAVE OTHER ONE FOR LATER.
me play tennis good. Me defeated by John McEnroe. He screamed at Bizarro. Bizarro didn’t throw him into sun. Make Bizarro sad. Bizarro so sad couldn’t stop laughing.
RAAARGH!! HULK NEED NEW AGENT.
GRANDPA asked:
DEAR MISTER GREEN JEANS
how can you type on that computer when your fingers are so darn big?
HULK HAVE COMPUTER? HULK THOUGH THIS WAS A TOASTER. IF THIS COMPUTER, WHY HULK EATING TOAST?
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK,
Who wrote the book of love?
HULK NOT KNOW WHO WROTE BOOK OF LOVE, BUT HULK PRETTY SURE BOOK ONLY AVAILABLE IN BRAILLE. HULK BOUGHT BOOK, FELT IT UP.
Me read good. Me hate love.
SO THAT MEAN BIZARRO LOVE LOVE?
No!
HULK HEAD HURT!!
Simun asked:
can you recommend a good lawyer in property damage?
HULK CAUSE SO MUCH DAMAGE HULK HAD TO TAKE UP LAW. HULK STUDY DAY AND NIGHT. FINALLY, ON BIG DAY, HULK PASS BAR. HULK WENT BACK, WENT IN BAR, GOT DRUNK, FORGOT ALL ABOUT PLANS TO BE LAWYER.
panther10 asked:
Dear Mr. Hulk,
My name is Mr. McScrewyou Sixwaystosunday, and I am here on behaf of the Firm Hassle & Black. I represent a very important group of people who are interested in protecting the rights of the legendary bigfoot, which as far as I’m concerned is you, sir. I was wondering if, for a small fee, you would be interested in my counsel?
HULK THINK DEAL SOUND TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. HULK NEED TO CHECK INTO THINGS. HULK NOT EVEN SURE
HULK IS BIGFOOT. IN FACT, HULK NOT SURE WE’RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. WHAT BIZARRO THINK?
Me think that Hulk smartest man Bizarro knows.
…HULK ONTO YOU.
33%B-Boy asked;
Holku,
If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no-one around to hear it, does its natural felling contribute to global warming?
HULK FELL IN FOREST ONCE. HULK TRIPPED ON VINE. HULK FELL. MADE A NOISE. IF HULK FALL IN FOREST AND NOBODY THERE TO HEAR HIM MAKE NOISE, DOES THAT MEAN HE DIDN’T FALL? THINK ABOUT THAT A WHILE.
Me hate chocolate ice cream
RAARGH TRY AND KEEP UP!! WE NOT ON ICE CREAM QUESTION ANYMORE. AND PEOPLE CALL HULK DUMB.
Kirk asked:
Did you like spiderman 3 ?
HULK SAD THAT HULK’S CAMEO IN MOVIE WAS CUT. HULK CAME ALL THE WAY OUT THERE, BIG FAN OF EVIL DEAD MOVIES, SHAKE RAIMI’S HAND, JUST A SMALL WALK ON PART, ASKED PETER PARKER WHAT THE TIME WAS. BUT HULK AND UP ON CUTTING ROOM FLOOR.
Me hated Richard Pryor in it.
HULK THINK YOU CONFUSED. THAT WAS SUPERMAN 3.
Bizarro am astronaut!
creepybaldguy asked:
Hulk should I use steroids,and dye my skin green to be just like you?
HULK THINK SAFER METHOD IS FIND GAMMA BOMB!! HULK THINK THEY SOLD AT WAL-MART. BE SURE TO ASK IN LOUD VOICE "WHERE BOMBS!!"
UncleDave asked:
Hulk,
Why haven’t you gone to Miami and kicked the living #### out of Terry Bolea? No way should he be running around calling himself ‘Hulk’.
Also, ever had anythoughts of getting into the wrestling ring? If Spider Man can do it, you can to
HULK KNOWS ALL ABOUT "OTHER" HULK. HULK HAVE STORY ABOUT THAT:
HULK HAD BRIEF CAREER AS WRESTLER IN EIGHTIES. NOBODY KNOWS THIS. HULK WORE MASK, CALLED HIMSELF "GREEN TERROR." FOUGHT ALL THE GREATS. THEN IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE MATCH, HULK ACCIDENTALLY SCREAM OUT "HULK SMASH!!" BECAUSE THAT WHAT HULK DO. HULK GOT SUED BY HULK HOGAN. HULK GO UP TO HIM, TELL HIM I WAS FIRST, HE TOLD ME TO HIT THE BRICKS. SO I DID. HIS HOUSE MADE OF BRICKS. HULK STILL IN LITIGATION.
Robert Danner asked:
I heard that in a few months Ultimate You Vs. Wolverine is going to start back up under a
different moniker, perhaps an ongoing series.
Any truth to this or should i seriously take a smashing to the six bladed shorty who told me?
HULK THINK ULTIMATE ME NOT AS SEXY AS 616 ME. HULK GONNA TRY CALLING HIMSELF "ULTIMATE" HULK. HULK FEEL LIKE IDIOT. ULTIMATE JUST NEW "X-TREME" HULK THINK IT FAD.
HULK FORGOT WHAT HULK WAS TALKING ABOUT.
Me am Superman!
sexyvonpoopy asked:
what rhymes with "orange"
HULK NOT GOOD WITH WORDS. BIZARRO ANSWER THIS FOR YOU.
Fruit pie!
HULK THINK BIZARRO NEED CAT SCAN!
MetalLuna asked:
Why the purple pants?
WHY THE RED SHIRT? HULK SEEEEE YOUUUU!!!
chuck20 asked:
have you ever thought about getting a tattoo? Do you have any stuffed animals? If so, what are their names?
HULK HATE TATTOOS. HULK KNOWS HULK GET ONE, THEN HULK CHANGE HULK’S MIND. HULK FICKLE. AND HULK DOESN’T HAVE ANY STUFFED ANIMALS. WAIT…HULK ONCE OVERFED STRAY DOG. DOG WALKED AWAY STUFFED. THAT COUNT?
Me can count to one hundred. 1… 4… 56… 100.
YOU’RE SO HELPFUL!!! AND THAT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I’M THINKING!! HULK LIKE YOU!! HAHA!!
GRANDPA asked:
MISTER HULK SIR
DO YOU HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT JOE Q.
HOW COULD HULK NOT. THAT MAN CRAZY. HULK PRETTY SURE JOE Q. GONNA KILL HULK ONE DAY. HAVE BENDIS DO IT. THEN BENDIS BRING HULLK BACK IN NEXT ISSUE, EXCEPT HULK PINK AND SHOOTING PEOPLE WITH GUNS. AND BENDIS SAY "I’M SHAKING THINGS UP!" AND THEN THEY LAUGH.
TFitz asked:
Hulk, a recent poll found that when the term "Green Giant" comes up, more people think of the
"Jolly" one on Green Been cans. What do you think about that?
HULK WANT MORE COMMERCIALS. HULK THINK HULK LIKE COMMERCIAL WITH GIRL IN AVEENO ADS. YOU KNOW THE ONE. HULK GIVE NEW MEANING TO HO HO HO!!
spiderdood90 asked:
Hulk, What was the beer like in space?
KEPT FLOATING AROUND. HARD TO DRINK!
Piffy asked:
Hulk, do you ever feel…y’know. Not so fresh?
HULK ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SUMMER’S EVE. AND HULK NOT EVEN KNOW WHERE SUMMER’S EVE IS!!
Me cold in summertime.
SHUT UP!! WORST GUEST STAR EVER!!
Discogod asked:
Hulk, do you prefer a Brazilian, airstrip or natural look?
HULK SHAVES HIS INTO AN INKBLOT. SOME GIRLS SEE BATS, SOME SEE BUTTERFLIES. HULK MISUNDERSTAND QUESTION?
Marvel KNight 2099 asked:
Dear Hulkster,
Are you and the Sentry really friends, or just aquaintances?
HULK THINK ANYTHING YOU SEE IN PAPARAZZI PHOTOS CAN’T BE BELIEVED. THAT NOT HULK NOT COMING OUT OF HOTEL WITH SENTRY.
Simun asked:
ever crush a beer can on your head?
If so, how did that go and did you chug it beforehand?
HULK WOKE UP THREE DAYS LATER IN HEELS WEARING A COCKTAIL GOWN SINGING A DUET WITH DEAN MARTIN!!
sexyvonpoopy asked:
Hulk,
what rhymes with "silver"?
ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM!!
HULK JUST BLEW OUT BRAIN!!!
Heli88 asked:
Dearest Hulk,
What will happen on the last episode of Lost?
What will happen on the last episode of Gilmore Girls?
I know you’ve got connections; don’t hold out on us.
HULK CAN ANSWER THIS. THERE’S GONNA BE A CROSSOVER. ALL THE ISLAND PEOPLE ON LOST ARE REALLY FIGMENTS OF RORY’S IMAGINATION. MAYBE BIZARRO HAS ANOTHER IDEA.
Me am positive the Gilmore girl not in tail section of plane, then got separated, and not going to show up in the bunker.
HULK ASKED FOR SUPERMAN, REALLY. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE HULK. BUT THEY SENT THIS ONE INSTEAD. THIS NOT HULK’S FAULT!
AlphaPrime asked:
Hulk, which comic artist’s artwork is the Marvel Legends Face Off Figure of you based off of? I figure if anyone would know it would be the big green guy himself.
THE ARTWORK WHERE THE ARTIST APPARENTLY CAN’T DRAW FISTS!! HULK BITTER!!!
PS(Iron Man’s movie will be better then yours)
HULK NOT WATCH MOVIES SINCE HULK WATCH ELEKTRA. HULK POKE OUT EYES AFTER THAT.
WELL, HULK DONE NOW. HULK BE BACK, THOUGH. BIZARRO…MAYBE NOT, UNLESS CONTRACT NOT UP.
BIZARRO? ANY LAST WORDS?
Me am having wonderful time, wish you were here, me going to go crawl into television, not want to see the Bizarro show!
HULK… HATE… YOU!!!
Ask Hulk: http://www.thefwoosh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=38657