@fletch I love how you explain Destro's mask. For some reason I've NEVER considered the physics of it despite him easiliy being my favorite Cobra.
From a meta storyline perspective it's interesting how Cobra really has no unifying ideology - CC might be the only true believer. You've got profiteers (Destro, the twins), revenge seekers (Baroness), folks who see it as a playground for their weird ideas (Mindbender), guys just in it for the paycheck (Firefly, Major Bludd, whom I keep thinking of as a precursor to Joe Abercrombie's Nicomo Cosca lately), and the occasional lost soul like Storm Shadow. They've got better financing and firepower but nobody's truly fully invested.
On the actual action figure front, Pulse has been so wonky lately about shipping - last few shipments have given me the alert a few weeks in advance and then the box just... shows up one day. Wouldn't mind seeing the latest couple of figures drop out of the sky this week.
Hilariously, you're describing Cobra the same way most rational people would describe modern Republicans. Literally to a T. Even the different groups (in it for a paycheck, true believer, revenge seekers, profiteers, creeps that just want to do weird shit); a group with literally no unifying ideology beyond 'we're not those other people.'
Crazy. I never thought about it like that, but it's actually kind of bang on.
@fletch I agree that Serpentor wanting to be Emperor of Cobra feels out of scale, but I think that's why it works. I actually think Serpentor being anything but what he's shown to be makes the whole 'clone of famous psychopaths' somehow weirder and less sensible. Like, that crazy backstory -only- makes sense if he pops out of his bio-womb and immediately wants to be Godking of the Universe.
Also, I've always really liked the idea that Serpentor is truly unhinged. Like.. not just a clone of the scummest of the scum, but also like... cloning technology doesn't actually work properly and he's in a near-constant state of his mental faculties breaking down or being unreliable. That would really be supported by his actions if he treats himself like royalty despite very obviously just being part of some moderately-sized terrorist organization.
I think it's important for the overall narrative that Cobra are perpetual losers. And I don't mean just in the sense that they lose to G.I.Joe. I mean in the sense that they're all gooner, incel dipshits that think they're way better than they are. Put them all together and they can be dangerous and even sometimes capable. But ultimately they are always going to WAY oversell their own abilities and WAY overestimate what they can accomplish, because they're actually not as good as they think they are.
Serpentor is fucking brain-damaged and thinks he's royalty. Mindbender can accomplish awful things because he's very smart, but he's also unstable and probably couldn't actually make it through medical school even with a rich dad. Destro is a weapons dealer but the only people that want to buy his nightmare contraptions and self-immolating laser guns are the crazy hooded terrorist and his unhinged life-partner that dresses up like a big snake person. Cobra soldiers are manly FUCKING ALPHA MALES, BABY - but they have terrible aim, no situational awareness, and are actually kind of cowards one-on-one.
Not to say no one in Cobra is capable at their job. Just that none of them are as capable as they think they are - especially the people at the top. And your specialists; your Range Vipers and Snow Serpents and Desert Scorpions - those are your true believers that endlessly make excuses for the absolutely bat shit crazy people in charge because they think it's all for the greater good. But despite actually being good at what they do, they'll ultimately never truly succeed because their leaders are, as I said, losers.
I think it's important for the overall narrative that Cobra are perpetual losers. And I don't mean just in the sense that they lose to G.I.Joe. I mean in the sense that they're all gooner, incel dipshits that think they're way better than they are. Put them all together and they can be dangerous and even sometimes capable. But ultimately they are always going to WAY oversell their own abilities and WAY overestimate what they can accomplish, because they're actually not as good as they think they are.
Serpentor is fucking brain-damaged and thinks he's royalty. Mindbender can accomplish awful things because he's very smart, but he's also unstable and probably couldn't actually make it through medical school even with a rich dad. Destro is a weapons dealer but the only people that want to buy his nightmare contraptions and self-immolating laser guns are the crazy hooded terrorist and his unhinged life-partner that dresses up like a big snake person. Cobra soldiers are manly FUCKING ALPHA MALES, BABY - but they have terrible aim, no situational awareness, and are actually kind of cowards one-on-one.Not to say no one in Cobra is capable at their job. Just that none of them are as capable as they think they are - especially the people at the top. And your specialists; your Range Vipers and Snow Serpents and Desert Scorpions - those are your true believers that endlessly make excuses for the absolutely bat shit crazy people in charge because they think it's all for the greater good. But despite actually being good at what they do, they'll ultimately never truly succeed because their leaders are, as I said, losers.
This is all gold. Well diluted and well articulated. This sums up Cobra very, very nicely.
In my own head canon space, on the corporate side they do have to employ some pretty effective corporate leaders because they require a tremendous cash flow. Of course making money is easier when you are entirely unencumbered by scruples and ethics anyway. But Cobra has to make a LOT of money, because military ordnance isn't cheap and, as you say the leaders at the very top are ultimately deluded losers.
Sorta like how Number Two ran a successful company while Doctor Evil was away and not scheming.
@theknightdamien yeah, this really took a turn but all great stuff! Good day for it.
Oh yeah, Cobra is definitely good at making money. But if you guys follow video games or Tesla, you know that it's not hard to find an absolute fucking idiot that's also incredibly rich and 'good' at making money. In the sense that Cobra just needs to find a dumb rich guy that's so rich that no amount of absolute buffoonery and fuck-ups can make him not rich.
Your Bobby Koticks, Jeff Bezoses, and Elon Musks. The world is fairly full of ignorant, narcissistic, incredible stupid, and truly vile rich guys for Cobra to leech off of and manipulate. It's not even hard. Just tell them what good ideas they have. It's been proved, multiple times, you can literally change a rich guy's political affiliations by telling him that he's smart. Because vanity goes hand-in-hand with greed and stupidity.
@theknightdamien Great write-up, and oh, there are real life people who are in the news every single day who would be donating to Cobra because conflict is good for business. I think part of the reason we need to see Cobra lose over and over again is rich morons win in the real world ALL. THE. TIME. And the public would eat it up. Can just hear everyone's uncle saying that Cobra Commander makes some great points, he really tells it like it is, or Musk asking "how much is GI Joe?" and trying to buy them out.
If people play D&D because it's a fantasy where you can make a lot of money freelancing while making a difference in the world while hanging out with your friends, GI Joe is a fantasy where an always ethically run military stops profiteering fascists from taking over the world. It's wish fulfillment.
Boy, this analysis of a cartoon we love is... a lot to chew on at this point in history.
Oh yeah, Cobra is definitely good at making money. But if you guys follow video games or Tesla, you know that it's not hard to find an absolute fucking idiot that's also incredibly rich and 'good' at making money. In the sense that Cobra just needs to find a dumb rich guy that's so rich that no amount of absolute buffoonery and fuck-ups can make him not rich.
Your Bobby Koticks, Jeff Bezoses, and Elon Musks. The world is fairly full of ignorant, narcissistic, incredible stupid, and truly vile rich guys for Cobra to leech off of and manipulate. It's not even hard. Just tell them what good ideas they have. It's been proved, multiple times, you can literally change a rich guy's political affiliations by telling him that he's smart. Because vanity goes hand-in-hand with greed and stupidity.
I so wish I could contribute to this, but I'll never think of something as good as this.
@theknightdamien Great write-up, and oh, there are real life people who are in the news every single day who would be donating to Cobra because conflict is good for business. I think part of the reason we need to see Cobra lose over and over again is rich morons win in the real world ALL. THE. TIME. And the public would eat it up. Can just hear everyone's uncle saying that Cobra Commander makes some great points, he really tells it like it is, or Musk asking "how much is GI Joe?" and trying to buy them out.
If people play D&D because it's a fantasy where you can make a lot of money freelancing while making a difference in the world while hanging out with your friends, GI Joe is a fantasy where an always ethically run military stops profiteering fascists from taking over the world. It's wish fulfillment.
Boy, this analysis of a cartoon we love is... a lot to chew on at this point in history.
Also brilliant. And yeah, I just love where this conversation went. I had to screenshot some of knightdamien's post to send to a friend who loves exactly that sort of thing.
Just goes to show how art (yes, GI Joe counts) imitates life imitates art.
Not to belabor the point or put too real a spin on it, but thinking about how Cobra Commander doesn't actually have to be a genius - I actually got out of tech recently because I got tired of working for INCREDIBLY dumb men who somehow made insane amounts of money in spite of regularly being the stupidest person in the room.
If Cobra Commander went to Harvard Business School and spent a year working at Kinsey (neither of which requires a MENSA candidate), he could absolutely stir up the funds to create a paramilitary organization.
On a lighter note, I just got to mystery charges from Pulse for individual figures - I think it's SAW and Dial-Tone. (Either that or it's two of the remaining Acolyte figures). I could use some new figures to distract from reality.
Apparently hasbro had a typo for the release date for that wave, saying 10/25 when it was actually 01/25. I'm not being funny, apparently that's what happened.
If Cobra Commander went to Harvard Business School and spent a year working at Kinsey (neither of which requires a MENSA candidate), he could absolutely stir up the funds to create a paramilitary organization.
Who needs Harvard when you got two years of Used Car and Amway sales under your belt? I think that even CoCo doesn't buy his own BS, but he's gotten this far, so F-it, he'll shoot for the moon baby till somebody splatters his brain inside his helmet.
Gotta say, given the composition and general leanings of some other Joe enthusiast groups, it is refreshing and downright hopeful to hear this discourse in this thread.
Apparently hasbro had a typo for the release date for that wave, saying 10/25 when it was actually 01/25. I'm not being funny, apparently that's what happened.
Glad to hear it. I was worried about the whole October 2025 thing. Now we are at least getting a wave early in the year, so even if we have a long wait after we still have something.
Which is okay by me as I am almost caught up. Just need to get Alpine and I'll have everything currently released and can get the SAW Viper wave at a steady pace. Then use some funds for other things while waiting....
If Cobra Commander went to Harvard Business School and spent a year working at Kinsey (neither of which requires a MENSA candidate), he could absolutely stir up the funds to create a paramilitary organization.
Who needs Harvard when you got two years of Used Car and Amway sales under your belt? I think that even CoCo doesn't buy his own BS, but he's gotten this far, so F-it, he'll shoot for the moon baby till somebody splatters his brain inside his helmet.
It was revealed in the Marvel comics run, that Cobra Commander has his helmet lined with plastic explosive. It required a particular code to open the helmet without detonating it (so he claimed). If he’s genuinely crazy enough to run around with explosives around his head, it may not not require someone else to splatter his head. One slip up, entering the code, and his reign of terror is over.
Re: the Cobra hierarchy, I definitely saw the whole Serpentor thing in my head-canon pretty much the same as in the comics: an attempted coup that worked for a while but ultimately the Commander is the true head of the Cobra snake, and he is a human being. And yeah I see Cobra as a pyramid scheme-turned-cult where the Commander has essentially bamboozled his followers with false promises of “greatness” to come from his own twisted and narcissistic idea of a new world order (except for the cabal that directly surrounds him, who are mostly cynical, selfish mercenaries who will do and say whatever as long as it profits them). I’m actually astounded how much the actual modern political world mimics how I have always seen Cobra, except in the real world it appears that the bad guys win and there are no “good guys”. Not the way I had hoped life would imitate art.
<bamboozled his followers with false promises of “greatness” to come from his own twisted and narcissistic idea of a new world order (except for the cabal that directly surrounds him, who are mostly cynical, selfish mercenaries who will do and say whatever as long as it profits them).>
Also perfectly describes any CEO and their C-suite.
Yay, round one of my falcon/quarrel returns complete. I only have three more sets coming to return.
Yay, round one of my falcon/quarrel returns complete. I only have three more sets coming to return.
Coincidentally, the set is now down to $23.42 at Walmart.com.
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