Vehicles were never a large part of my Masters of the Universe world. While I had both He-Man and Skeletor’s beasts, I didn’t have a lot of vehicles. Part of it was due to cost — one vehicle was the cost of two or three figures, so the choice was easy — and part was accessibility. And then the third part was just plain play value. It seemed like G.I. Joe and M.A.S.K. were the only line for me where there was a synergistic connection of figure and vehicle. While I appreciated the vehicles in the MOTU worldscape, they weren’t an integral part of playtime.
With Masters of the Universe Classics, however, I’ve been enjoying the vehicles on an entirely different level. Being a strong advocate of those original mini-comics, it’s been great getting vehicles that were so integral to the depiction of that earlier, Alcala-styled, pre-Filmation He-Man, the one I fell in love with and the one that still informs my view of He-Man and his world. The Battle Ram, in particular, was dripping with that back-of-the-mini goodness that made this small barbarian story so much larger than it seemed.
We could get no more vehicles at all and I’d be perfectly happy with what we got. The Wind Raider, Jet Sled, and completed Battle Ram all carry with them the vocabulary of the MOTU world that captivated my interest. But am I really satisfied?
Maybe… one more. Just one more will do it. But which one?
My decision-making process stripped it down to the one most necessary to the “story” of MOTU. Not the ones being offered up in the current bios; nor any one particular media, be it comic or cartoon; but the overall intangible feel of Masters of the Universe. So that unfortunately meant vehicles that would undoubtedly make awesome toys under the Horsemen’s talents were immediately out. No Bashasaurus, no Road Ripper, no Land Shark, no Dragon Walker, no Roton. These would all make cool-as-crap conveyances for our figures, but I was strict. I was left with only two choices: Talon Fighter and Attak Trak.
Truthfully, these two are as MOTU as it gets in terms of aesthetics and feel. They’re spiritual offspring of the Wind Raider and the Battle Ram in a way, effortlessly merging the fantasy and the science fiction in the best way that MOTU does it.
The Talon Fighter — and Point Dread along with it — enhance the mythology of Castle Grayskull while bringing in another ages old weapon for Skeletor to try to usurp for his own ends, while the Attak Trak is a blunt instrument of war for He-Man to ride on his Eternian rounds. They’re equal in status and toyetic qualities.
Ultimately, I have to go with the Attak Trak. While the Talon Fighter would make an excellent toy, I already have more air vehicles than ground vehicles, and I was always the guy for whom the land vehicles were the most fun. The imagery of the Attak Trak carries with it all the richness of those early Texeira-drawn mini-comics the way Alcala is connected with both Battle Ram and Wind Raider.
I have a weird association with the Attak Trak. Despite not being as enthused about the vehicles, the Trak was one that I not only had to have, I think I had, albeit briefly. I say “think,” because I have memories of it, but I don’t remember actually owning it and definitely not playing with it. I once asked my parents about it, and my mom said that when I got it the motor was dead and we had to return it, but we weren’t able to get a replacement. That would explain why I have very brief memories of owning it… but it feels like a dream, almost. I’m wondering if she was really remembering it right, or if she’s confusing it with something else. It’s like the memory of a dream someone else had. Did I have the Attak Trak and have to return it? Did I ever have it at all, or was it just a dream, like the recurring dream where I find a wave of Star Wars figures that never existed?
I don’t remember for sure, and that’s odd because I usually remember an insane amount of details about my childhood. Could the incident have been so traumatic that I blocked it out? Sure, I guess.
The world may never know.
But despite the gaping hole in my memory and the mystery that has filled in that space, Attak Trak is my choice for final vehicle. If, in December of 2015, they were able to pull an Attak Trak out of their hat, that would put a gigantic bow on one of the greatest toy lines ever. If you had a choice, what would you choose?