This week we bring you a heartwrenching tale of gutchurning emotion and spleen-spanking desire, guaranteed to make your eyeballs palpitate with unbridled emotion. It’s like Love Story and Brian’s Song, except with toys. So it’s by my calculations about 38 percent better. If James Caan were here that would bump it up to about 54, but whaddayagonnado?
Anyway, our story begins (and ends) in The Microverse:
Read this line. Read this line from our faithful, loyal, generous and benevolent creator, who guides us all with his good looks and…oh enough sucking up, just read this quote, in reference to how long the Ares Wave thread will stay up. How long?:
…will stay up until I have Crossbones and Guardian with their BAF pieces.
The man needs his toys!!! For the love of all that is fwooshy, somebody give this man a toy. Mostly because keeping that thread up there is making the sticky section (huh huh huh) too long. It’s a lot of painful, finger-straining scrolling. Or something. I don’t know. Either way, pabs needs toys. Somebody give the man some toys. if we can slap a man on the moon we can put a couple toys on the pabs.
Moving on…That’s all I’ve got.
In The Multiverse:
The lineup for 13 has been officially revealed in an even more official capacity than the rumored rumors that were rumored previously. As a refresher, the figures are:
Superboy
Blue Devil
Donna Troy
Modern Blue Beetle
Cyclotron
Cheetah (modern and classic
Negative Man (with black variant)
C&C Trigon
Awesome. Awesome. Seriously. Makes me all ovationy.
Also, Darkseid’s C&C is going to be a perky 9 inches tall. This has caused a surprising amount of disagreement in fwoosher opinions. And when I say surprising I clearly have forgotten the meaning of the word “surprising”. Some fwooshers believe this is a great height, wanting a massive Darkseid. Other fwooshers (whom I agree with) believe him to be too big. Darkseid himself dropped by to say this:
9 inches? Pfft, 9 and a half easily.
Fwooshers continue their seach for series ten and for things to take out their all consuming frustrations on. Like the uber-pressing details on where sightings should go. Maybe in that forum for sightings. In other news, my state sucks. I’m in a state of sucking. Which is a lot less fun than it sounds.
Also…AMBUSH BUG!! MAKE AN AMBUSH BUG!! HE KNOWS YOU’RE READING HIM, AND HE’LL KNOW YOU’RE PLAYING WITH HIM!! AMBUSH BUG!!
Subtle.
We got first looks at the upcoming Matty two packs courtesy of luckybastid fwoosher Veebee. B’wana beast has no nipples. This has caused a flurry of furor. Well, a small one. It’s just odd. Toy companies don’t like male lactation, I guess. Who among us really does, though?
In The Expanded Universe forum,
we got first looks at the Green Goddess, Zodak, Scareglow, and Ray from Ghostbusters, proving once again that Veebee is the luckiest sumbitch in the galaxy.
In The Bar with No Name:
GrownNerd, venerable creator of the cross dressing thread, also wants to see pictures of your girlfriend, wife, or ex. At this point, I’m just eager to see what thread he creates next.
In Comic Relief:
A throwaway comment from rampant attention-whore fwoosher Ibentmyman-thing (who is attention whorey enough to reference himself in his own article. He sickens me.) has resulted in one of those threads where people debate who can beat up who. All that I’ve gathered so far is a kid with a red lite brite can apparently beat up Superman if they turn out all the lights in the room. Unless the batteries go dead, in which case that kid is toast.
Is that it? Guess so. All right then.
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