HULK BACK, THEY NOT FIRE HULK YET!!
meatloaf of darkness asked:
Dear hulk, Can you fit your entire fist in your mouth?
HULK ONCE TRIED THAT. HULK FIT ENTIRE THING IN, BUT HULK COULDN’T GET IT OUT. STAYED LIKE THAT FOR WEEK. HULK FELT KIND OF STUPID. FISH MAN LAUGH AT HULK, BUG EYES LAUGH AT HULK, WINGHEAD LAUGH AT HULK. HULK TRIED YELLING AT THEM, BUT IMPOSSIBLE. CAUSE OF THE HAND. IN HULK’S MOUTH. HULK HAD TO GO INTO HIDING. HULK SAT AROUND ALL DAY, THOUGHT ABOUT HOW STUPID HULK WAS. LAST TIME HULK DO ANYTHING ON DARE.
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK, How come when you take a photograph the camera lens is round, but the picture turns out square?
HULK THINK THIS MAGIC. HULK THINK IT SAME MAGIC THAT MAKES THE MOVIE ON ROUND DVD SHOW UP RECTANGULAR. HULK TAKE DVD OUT, MOVIE ON THERE, DISC ROUND. BUT HULK PUT IT IN DVD PLAYER, MOVIE SHOW UP WIDESCREEN. HULK GOT DTS. HULK GOT PLASMA TV. HULK LIVING LARGE. ONLY WAY HULK LIVE.
bigraj asked:
Dear Hulk, Why can’t Toybiz or Hasbro make a Hulk action figure that has two fists? Hulk doesn’t slap or point at things. HULK SMASH, right? Also, I’ve been trying to find a certain Mr. Al Coholic. I think it’s Tony Stark’s witness protection name. When you get back to Earth, can you find him and smash him for me?
HULK KNOWS!! HULK WRITE LETTER, COMPLAIN TO TOY COMPANY. HULK MADE PHOTOCOPY OF FIST, E-MAILED IT TO TOY COMPANY, AND SAID "LOOK! THIS HULK’S FIST. HULK USE THIS FIST TO HIT PUNCH AND SMASH. HULK NOT A SLAPPER. HULK OCCASIONALLY CLAPS, MAKES LOUD NOISE, AND HULK ALSO CLAPS TO TURN LIGHTS OFF, CLAP ON, CLAP OFF, THE CLAPPER!!! BUT HULK USUALLY HIT THING. HULK SIT ON FLOOR SURROUNDED BY TOYS, ALL SLAPHANDS. THEN HULK LOOK AT LUKE CAGE. ONE FIST, ONE PIMP HAND. HULK THINK, "WHY NOT ME?"
HULK SIGHS A LOT.
panther10 asked:
Dear Hulk, Do you have a good tequilla story that you wish to share with us?
HULK ONCE HANG WITH STAN LEE. STAN THE MAN LIKE SPONGE. ATE WORM. DRINK HULK UNDER TABLE. LITERALLY. HULK UNDER TABLE. STAN SHOWED HULK THE TOWN. HULK SEE THINGS HULK WISH HULK COULD FORGET. HULK SAW MAN WITH MIDGET IN MOUTH, GARGLING PEBBLES. HULK SAW IDENTICAL TWINS GIVING BIRTH TO EACH OTHER. HULK SAW MAN ON FIRE. HULK THINK DENZEL GOOD ACTOR, BUT LITTLE GIRL FREAK HULK OUT.
simmo asked:
Hulk, You would never lose if you didn’t have the high ground, would you? (PS Bishop to Queen5)
HIGH GROUND LOW GROUND MIDDLE GROUND ALL THE SAME TO HULK. AS YOU KNOW, HULK OCCASIONALLY LIKE TO SHOUT "HULK SMASH!!" BUT SOMETIMES WHEN NOBODY LOOKING HULK LIKE TO YELL "HULK HAVE HIGH GROUND!!" THEN JEDI JUMPS UP AND SLICE HULK IN HALF.
ALSO, KNIGHT TO ROOK3 CHECKMATE!!!
sexyvonpoopy asked:
Hulk, do you jump thru the air because it is one way of farting without anyone knowing or is it because it is the best way to travel
HULK THINK TWO NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. HULK NOT KNOW WHAT HULK JUST SAID, BUT HAS POOPY CONSIDER HULK FLY THROUGH AIR BECAUSE OF FART? HULK GOT JET AIRPLANE IN BUTT!!
TheSameIdiot asked:
Hulk, If you had the first draft pick, would you have taken JaMarcus Russell?
IF HULK HAD FIRST ROUND PICK HULK PICK JAMAMA!!
AlphaPrime asked:
Does Hulk ever watch Ninja Warrior on G4TV?
NO. BUT HULK HAS FOUGHT NINJA BEFORE. HULK HAD DREAM HE IN GI JOE, FOUGHT STORM SHADOW. HULK DRESSED IN BLACK. HULK DREAMED HE WAS SNAKE EYES. COULDN’T TALK, COULDN’T SCREAM "HULK SMASH!!" HAD TO SIGN IT. NOT AS EFFECTIVE.
PS I still say Iron Man whoop Hulk somehow
THANK YOU FOR SHARING DELUSIONS WITH HULK!!!
Scumgrief asked:
Dear Hulk… I think Lobo can kick your hiney. What do you say about that?
HULK THINK HULK NEED TO LAY DOWN. HULK LAUGH TOO HARD. HULK HERNIATED SOMETHING. GOOD ONE. HAHAHAHAHA!!
GRANDPA asked:
mister hulk sir do you suck your GREEN thumb at night when you go to sleepy bye
HULK THINK HULK NEEDS TO PULL DOWN SHADES WHEN HULK SLEEPS!! PEEPER!!
spiderdood90 asked:
Who is your favourite Villain to beat on?
GUY WHO CALLED HULK ASKING HIM IF HE’D LIKE TO DONATE MONEY!! HULK EATING DINNER. BAD TIME. GUY WOULDN’T STOP. HULK TRACKED HIM DOWN. POUNDED. SMASHED. HULK DOESN’T LIKE DINNER INTERRUPTED!!
Thanks also for Rochambeauin’ Shell Head for me!
NO PROBLEM!!
Simun asked:
ever try to light one of your farts on fire?
HOW YOU THINK HULK COVER SO MUCH GROUND?
dracine asked:
Hulk, how did it feel when you were Apocalypse’s bitch?
APOCALYPSE SURPRISINGLY TENDER. GIVE HULK FLOWERS, DRAW BATH, RUB HULK’S BACK… WAIT… WHAT?
TheSameIdiot asked:
Hulk, Other than destroying things, what do you do in your free time?
HULK SELL CARS!!! BUT DON’T TELL IRS!!
GRANDPA asked:
MISTER HULK SIR WHEN YOU WAKE UP FROM A HANG OVER ARE YOU GREEN AROUND THE GILLS?
ONLY THING MAKE HULK GREEN AROUND GILLS IS PUNS!! HULK NOT EVEN SURE HULK HAVE GILLS. HULK THINKING OF ADDING A SPOILER, THOUGH, MAKE HULK SPORTIER. HULK RUN AROUND MAKING CAR NOISES. VROOM VROOM! HULK LOST TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
Vanilla Blue asked:
Hulk, What’s with the kids these days? Sheesh.
HULK KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. HULK SEE THEM MAKING GANG SIGNS, PLAYING LOUD MUSIC, EATING WITH THEIR FINGERS, HULK GO CRAZY. HULK THINK, WHEN HULK HAVE KIDS, THEY NOT BE LIKE THAT. HULK’S KIDS MODEL CITIZENS. ACT RIGHT. SHOW RESPECT. THEN HULK REALIZE HULK’S KIDS PROBABLY LISTEN TO MUSIC HULK NOT LIKE, STEAL HULK’S CAR, STEAL HULK’S SPOILER, LAUGH AT HULK’S MOVIE.
GET OFF HULK’S LAWN!!!
Kirk asked:
I cant wait till the day Ben kicks your tail around your head!!!!
THAT’S NOT A QUESTION!! HULK NOT SCARED OF ROCK MAN. HULK… ERR… SMASH THINGS!
Simun asked:
Is Liv Tyler worthy of playing Betty?
HULK NOT FOND OF THIS CHOICE. HULK REMEMBER TIME IN SEVENTIES, HULK WAS FEELING EXPERIMENTAL, WENT TO ROCK CONCERT, AEROSMITH THERE, HULK HAD LITTLE TOO MUCH TO DRINK, MIGHT HAVE MADE OUT WITH HER FATHER. THIS GONNA BRING BACK BAD MEMORIES.
HULK GOTTA GO, SOMEBODY KNOCKING ON HULK’S DOOR. HULK HOPE IT NOT NEIGHBOR. HE WANT TO BORROW HULK’S WEED WHACKER AGAIN.
Ask Hulk: http://www.thefwoosh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=38657