In this time of Thanksgiving, it’s traditional for those of us who celebrate such things to dwell on friends, family and all the things that we are thankful for as we sit down in front of a large dead bird, shove our faces in and suck until our spines invert.
But this is Fwoosh, so screw that; let’s talk about toys.
2017 has, so far, been another strong year full of great toys. I know this is true, because I now live in a house made solely of empty toy boxes, and the cardboard sign I hold while I stand on the street corner says “will work for toys.” I gave up eating a long time ago.
The great deluge of stuff sometimes speeds past at such a feisty blur that it’s difficult to stop and sniff the highly toxic chemicals. So what I’m going to do, and I’m inviting you to do as well, is stop and think about the five toys that have come out so far 2017 that I am thankful for. In no particular order, they are:
Revoltech Deadpool
I was soured on Revoltech’s general aesthetic/articulation combo and didn’t think I’d get this. But then people got it in-hand and raved. “It couldn’t be that good in person …” I said. But I caved like the love child of Cave Carson and Captain Caveman, and fell completely in love with the figure once he was in hand. The poseability of every other toy I had ever handled suddenly seemed as stunted as a sickly squirrel on crutches. There seemed to be nothing this figure couldn’t do. Every Deadpoolian pose you wanted to contort the figure into was possible. If you judge this figure — or any Revoltech figure — by how it looks like in a plain Jane pose, then you’re missing out on the pure cocaine-fused awesomeness of this figure.
Toys Alliance Optimus Prime
Another in the “I can skip it” column that I ended up not skipping at all, Optimus is a huge, figure-dwarfing Autodamn that should actually have its own college course. The students should each get an Optimus of their own and have to play with him for credit. If Kim Jong Un had this Optimus Prime, he’d give up trying to nuke things and just fiddle with him all day. Yes, I think this toy is the foundation of world peace. It is that cool. If you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t really need another Optimus, and especially one that doesn’t transform,” then you haven’t played around with this one yet, and also your friends don’t like you and talk about you behind your back.
Mezco Punisher
While Marvel Legends has released the best standard Punisher in the recent Vintage line, the Mezco Punisher ramps everything about that figure over the top. While I was not lucky enough to get the classic-styled version nor did I get the deluxe (and I’m still trying to figure out why I didn’t) the regular version is easily one of the hand-candiest Punisher I own. With multiple weapons, several heads, swappable hands and great articulation, it’s not just one of the best Punisher figures, but it’s one of the best One:12 collective figures as well.
Figuarts C-3P0
Artoo had some good luck, and some good figures, but it was looking like Threepio wasn’t going to get that figure, the one that nailed everything I wanted it to be/do. Hasbro’s figure was the best attempt, but even that one wasn’t quite “the one.” I still needed one that really made me nod my head slowly before starting to clap and then stand up, clapping even louder until everyone around me wondered why I wasn’t wearing any pants. Figuarts — the very last 6-inch Threepio to come out — succeeded in nearly every area.
And the no-doubt odd duck of the list
Marvel Legends Death’s Head 2
I can tell by that expression on your face that this one doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of the list. Trust me, I could easily make a top ten, and there were a handful of figures that were really fighting to make the list. But despite the large amount of figures I considered, from the two-pack Cyclops to the Anniversary Darth Vader to pretty much anything Ninja Turtle-related, this one jumped out and demanded a slot. Marvel Legends have been on a hell of a roll lately, but of any figure Marvel legends has pumped out in recent history, none have been so completely satisfying from character choice to final product than Death’s Head 2, or “Minion” to be more accurate. It may help if you’re a fan of the more obscure or lower-tier figures like I am, but of characters like these don’t often get their shot at the spotlight, so the fact that he was made at all leaves me very thankful.
Well, there you go, that’s my five for 2017. Leave a comment if you’ve got five of your own!