At the time I’m writing this, we still don’t know much about how the new “masters” of Masters of the Universe Classics will be handling the MOTUC line. We should, however, have some clue to how things will be by the time this is published, as November 16 is the day the Ultimate editions of some of our favorite MOTUC characters will go up for preorder. Was it a mess? Was it a smooth operation? I don’t know. That’s for future me to find out, and for current you to lament or celebrate.
One thing I do know about, is that neither Roton nor Horde Troopers showed up on Matty’s site on the 15th.
Now, that isn’t a huge surprise. If the chef is dying, he’s probably not inclined to cook you dinner. “You hungry mofos can go suck it,” is what the chef would say as the poison/knife/bullet wound/rabid badger slowly kills him. Sure, he might have some stuff already prepared and jammed into the freezer, but new stuff? Ain’t happening. The Roton and Horde Troopers were outside of sub stuff anyway. It’s getting iffy just with stuff we know for sure we’re supposed to get. With all the delays delays delays, let’s just hope that Matty holds it together for just a little while longer.
Assuming that Matty won’t whip anything out as December surprise, that means it falls to Super7 to deliver said items into our hands.
With that said, a plea to Super7: Please release Roton, Skelcon, and Horde Troopers.
Why Roton?
Well, this is a question that answers itself by way of repeat MOTUC artist Earl Norem, who had a gift for making pretty much anything and everything look badass. Back in the ’80s it was Earl Norem who turned Emmanuel Lewis into Mr. T. True story.
Take a look at this image by Mr. Norem:
Yeah. Never mind how pimped out he made Roboto, take a look at those things flying in the background and you’ll see why we need a Roton in the MOTUC line, Super7. If there is any way you can take over the manufacturing and release of this spinnychoppy flying Cuisinart, it clearly has to be done. The Roton isn’t even my favorite MOTUC vehicle, yet I still recognize the awesomeness inherent in the idea that Skeletor decided riding around in a big chomping shark wasn’t quite intimidating enough. That’s how much of an Evil Lord of Destruction Skeletor was: where ordinary folks see a pinwheel, he sees a raging engine of limb-chopping annihilation.
Now then, Skelcons.
Skelcons originated in the Ladybird picture books. They kind of look like if Skeletor had sex with the skeleton of a Bull or something. You will get a ticket on Eternia if you do that. One Skelcon was going to be packed with the Roton. However, despite the fact that both Rotons and Skelcons are army-builders, trying to army-build a vehicle/figure combo is, let’s say, pricey as hell. While Bullskulletor is still a thing that absolutely has to happen, it needs to happen independently of a vehicle, so that those of us who want more than one Skelcon can do so at our leisure. Skeletor needs some fist fodder for He-man or any of his loyal compatriots to punch. Skelcons fit the bill.
And finally, the Horde Troopers. Did you get enough Horde Troopers the one and only time they went on sale? Did any of us, really? I know I didn’t. If these were released on a single card I would definitely buy, at minimum, about a flicktillion of them.
He-Man or She-Ra standing in the middle of two doesn’t look impressive at all. But a jinkiejillion of them?
Now that’s impressive. So I need at least that many. Or, if finances are tight, at least five more. It depends on how much money/advanced warning/rabid badgers I have. But I can absolutely guarantee without being able to personally guarantee anything that everybody on the face of the planet will buy at least one.
Profit.
You will haz it.
So there you go, Super7. It doesn’t look like we’re getting these things from Matty, so it falls to you, the company that I’m speaking to as if it were an actual human, to produce them. I’m in for a lot of Skelcons, a testicillion of Horde troopers, and a Roton.
Hold the mayo.