So far I’ve been digging the various exclusives Walgreens has been offering. The latest Punisher is my new favorite Marvel Legends Punisher, with two different options (or more, depending on your custom skills) for subjecting your villainous figures to Frankicide. Daredevil’s first appearance costume is a must-have, and the Agent Venom and recent Namor figures are the same. I even like the Black Ant, despite the fact that I still haven’t read anything featuring him. He exists, the costume’s nifty, I’m happy — there’s the story.
VeeBee did a nifty article a while back on figure’s that would make great upcoming Walgreens exclusives, and I can’t argue with any of those choices. I’d be up for each and every one of them. Personally, I never would have thought that the two most recent figures — Punisher and Namor —would end up as exclusives, so the future is as uncertain as Sarah Connor’s, except for the fact that two chicks from Game of Thrones are going to portray her. That’s just weird. Weirder still is that you can probably pick up a Daenarys for five bucks at your local Walgreens. Is that synchronicity or am I just word salading? Nobody knows. What I do know is that exclusives seem to be a way to get a character outside of the rigid wave structure. Even Marvel Unlimited is getting in on the action. Buy a subscription, get a figure.
So what if this became a trend? What if Marvel Legends ended up taking a bit of action from Pokémon Go and began to pepper the world with themed exclusives, leading you to step out of your comfort zone and travel to far off lands in search of elusive figures? Walgreens wouldn’t be the only fish-fry in the neighborhood then.
First off, let’s stick with Walgreens, with their already proven track record of Marvel Legends exclusives. So far there’s been a delightful randomness to their figures, but what if they decided to get a little more “on the nose” with their figure choice?
That leads me to the Walgreens Exclusive She-Hulk figure. 
It’s time for a new She-Hulk, and this time she she would match up with Walgreens. You know … because of the green. Themed and relevant, and totally makes sense in my head.
Next up is the most obvious on the list. Target is no stranger to exclusives here and there, so they need to get in on the action with a Target Exclusive Bullseye. 
There really is no better match of store and character than Bullseye and Target. It’s been a long loooooong time since Bullseye had a Marvel figure. So many customizers scooped up the Bullseye figure way back then that he has to be the best-selling figure of all time. And somewhere there has to be a landfill full of Galactus legs.
I should probably end the article right there, but I will press on.
Target was easy, but Walmart is not going to want to be left out. Walmart is the type of place that has a little bit of everything. Its aisles are Byzantine labyrinths that pull you deeper and deeper into its folds, unwilling to allow you safe escape, bombarding you with endless amounts of stuff that you don’t want and will never use. And more often than not, you leave with only shattered dreams and memories of empty pegs.
Fittingly, this is where you will find the Walmart exclusive Nightmare.
He will be a Nightmare to find.
So, stores are easy. Everybody ends up at one at some time to buy something, so traffic at Target or Walmart is a given. But if you really want to expand the footprint of Marvel Legends, then you need to go outside the usual paths. Remember when you could count on getting a neat toy at one of the fast food restaurants? Sometimes it didn’t even have to be a toy. I was so excited to get a full set of Return of the Jedi glasses back in 1983. Have you ever seen a kid excited to get dinnerware? 
Well, even cooler than movie-themed glasses would be the Burger King exclusive Kingpin. 
Yes, I’d like a cheeseburger, a medium-sized bag of fries and a Marvel Legends Kingpin please. TO GO.
Not wanting to be left out, McDonald’s will want their own exclusive Marvel Legend to toss into their Happy Meal. First off, a confession: I have never had a Happy Meal. I’ve probably only had two McDonald’s Cheeseburgers in my entire life. Their fries are pretty damn great, but I haven’t had one of those in maybe fifteen years. But even a dude like me, who is fairly averse to fast food and doesn’t like food that practically demands me to be in a certain mood to eat it, would have trouble not stepping foot into Ronald McDonald’s loathsome fear factory in order to get the McDonald’s exclusive Circus of Crime Clown figure.
McDonald’s and clowns go together like clowns and fear of molestation, so getting not just a clown but THE Clown would make beautiful music together. Unicycle absolutely has to be included.
The next one is so self-explanatory I won’t even go into a long-winded and over-reaching explanation for it. Five words: Kentucky Fried Chicken Exclusive Gamecock.
I know, right? That’s eleven herbs and spices full of brilliant. You don’t even have to say it.
Moving on from fast food, we need to encourage literacy among toy fans. Books can’t all be little thin floppy things. So Barnes and Noble could benefit from getting the toy fans into the store. Maybe they’ll see a book they like that isn’t yet another well-thumbed copy of Joy of Sex.
The B&N exclusive Typeface is just the type of figure to make you care about reading things that aren’t accompanied by purty pictures of people doing it.
Toys ‘R Us. There have been plenty of Toys ‘R Us exclusives, and many marvel Legends exclusives, mainly in the form of box sets. We’re collectors, we know all about it. But Toys R Us has never taken full advantage of exactly what kind of demographic haunts their aisles.
For all the collectors out there — have I given it away yet? — there would now be a Toys ‘r Us exclusive Collector figure. That’s as self-explanatory and obvious as it gets!
We’re almost done, ladies and gentlemen. Hold your applause.
We can’t leave pet stores out. In order to piss off the optimal amount of people, there is one “figure” that would bring even the non-pet owners of us out in full force. The PetSmart exclusive Deluxe Lockjaw would make many of us brave the kibble to get the awesomest dog in the world.
Well, there are plenty of stores left, so I’ve only hit the broad overview. What else is out there? What kind of exclusive would Best Buy get? If there was still a Circuit City we could get a Circuit Breaker. Maybe a Gamestop Videoman for the Amazing Spider-friends fans? Bed Bath and Beyond Beyonder? Supercuts Exclusive Razorfist?
I’ll see myself out.