“There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.” –Alexander DeLarge, from A Clockwork Orange
Stanley Kubricks adaptation of Anthony Burgess’ novel A Clockwork Orange is a movie that stays with you. Whether it’s the music, the narration, the graphic and visceral images, or the allegorical point the movie is making about dehumanization — it’s not a movie anyone watches and just forgets about. With each generation that discovers the movie, it becomes clear that, with Alex, Burgess and Kubrick created a character that would stand the test of time and would become an iconic symbol of youthful rebellion.
So where in the holy heck are the action figures?
A Clockwork Orange is often regarded as Stanley Kubrick’s most controversial film, surpassing even the violent Full Metal Jacket and the confounding 2001: A Space Odyssey in terms of disturbing images and sequences. A Clockwork Orange has all the depth and importance of any of Kubrick’s films, but it also introduced one of the more intriguing lead characters to ever grace the silver screen. When it comes to cinematic figures who strike an absolute commanding image, few compare to Malcom McDowell’s Alex. The white suit, the black boots, the bowler hat, the cod piece, the fake eye lash — it’s one of the more iconic images from cinema of the 20th century regardless of decade, and McDowell gave a career performance in bringing Alex to life. You hate the character because he is an absolute monster, but you cheer for the character despite yourself because you come to empathize with him — Alex is practically the textbook definition of “antihero.”
Given the cultural weight behind such a character, it’s shocking that some ambitious toy company has not delivered a set of Alex and his droogs as 6-inch, highly articulated action figures. I mean, come to think of it, none of Stanley Kubrick’s films have characters that have been translated to plastic — not even Jack Torrence from The Shining — so there must be a very good reason why no one has taken this on. I can hardly imagine a property more ideal for the plastic treatment than A Clockwork Orange. Speaking for only myself, I’d buy absolutely every single figure produced, not to mention playsets and vehicles — but now I’m just getting hysterical — and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
In the past few years, we’ve been teased with a few plastic renderings of Alex’s likeness. There’s the Funko Pop! Figure that was produced in ludicrously small numbers and fetches prices in the thousands on eBay. Then there’s the forthcoming Vinyl Idolz figure that is highly stylized and charming in its own way, and while these are cool and all, they are still not enough to scratch that itch.
But then Medicom teased this guy last week and I just about had a stroke . . . until I learned it’s a 12-inch figure priced at about $300. Still, it looks amazing, and I absolutely would if I could, but ultimately it still misses the mark because, well, it’s not 6-inch, and it’s doubtful further characters would be produced to accompany this amazing-looking Alex. In a perfect world, he’s flanked by his droogs.
With the number of movie properties companies like Neca and Mezco are pumping out in 6- and 7-inch form, I have to believe they have at least issued a proposal to the estate of the late Mr. Kubrick to license the likeness of Alex and the gang. And if they haven’t, do I even need to ask why the heck not? Alex and his crew, or at the very least just Alex himself, would fly off shelves. I’m absolutely confidant they would. Alex would be the crowning centerpiece of my entire collection. I’m probably overstating things here, but the point is, I’ve wanted an Alex on my shelf for decades now, and I can’t believe I don’t have one yet. And if produced, I’d pick up every version they made.
Like these for instance:
Alex in a suit
Alex as a dedicated follower of fashion
Alex receiving treatment
Alex in uniform
Even if only Alex were to be produced, customizers would pick up multiples because it wouldn’t take much to create the whole crew. They wouldn’t quite be simple repaints because there are some differences (Georgie’s collar, Alex’s cuff links, hats, etc.), but they’re not major differences, so if the set of four were to be officially produced, some slight retooling could get the job done. And I wouldn’t even care if the four were the same height. I could live with that.
So Neca, Mezco, Bandai — I don’t care who, really — if the rights to Alex and any of the characters from A Clockwork Orange are attainable, this line would be a slam-dunk, and I’d be first in line. Please, don’t make me beg.