Nostalgia for the ’80s is still running strong, and no doubt will continue to be strong for quite some time, but ’90s nostalgia has been picking up steam for a while. While I am firmly a child of the ’80s, meaning the bulk of my personal nostalgic interests rest in that decade, the ’90s held their own unique personality in the toy aisle.
We’ve seen plenty of signs lately that ’90s nostalgia is creeping up on us. Marvel Legends is dedicating a lot of time and effort into their retro packaging, giving those of us who haunted the toy aisles for our favorite Marvel characters back when Will Smith was a television star who lived with his Uncle Phil in Bel Air a fond jolt of memories. DC is doing a similar thing, releasing a handful of updated throwbacks to a time when Toybiz held both the Marvel and DC licenses. Add in Super7’s Toxic Crusaders interest and Boss Fight Studios Sam and Max and Bucky O’hare lines and you can practically taste the can of Surge.
I was way more streamlined in my focus in the ’90s than I was in the ’80s. With most of my favorite properties dead or dying, I had moved fully into Toybiz’s various Marvel line, and that’s where my attention would stay for the vast majority of the decade. Due to this, there were a lot of toylines I never got into, and most of which I just never heard of at all. While I have a pretty good knowledge of ’80s lines, I’ve tried to expand my knowledge of those lesser know and often failed ’90s lines that just couldn’t make a dent in the toy aisle.
Things were nuts in the ’90s, and toys were no different. Here are five lines that I’d probably jump right into if they were updated.
Biker Mice from Mars
I had heard of the Biker Mice From Mars, because it’s one of the coolest names for a property that you’ll find. It’s instantly memorable and evocative. It had the requisite multi-media push with cartoon, comic and toys. The toys are pretty cool looking. Each mouse came with his own bike, and it had a decent looking group of bad guys, including a robotic looking dude called “Lectromag.” If these were updated, I’d definitely buy a set of them.
Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys
Warring monkeys in space? Yeah, that’s a definite. Again, a small line with requisite cartoon that lasted only 26 episodes, there are a handful of good monkeys and a few bad guys, but they all look like they’d make excellent updated figures. Besides, can you really have too many monkey toys, especially if they’re space monkeys? The answer is no. No, you can not have too many space monkey action figures.
Conan The Adventurer
Despite being an R-rated killer of men, Conan had a cartoon, following on the heels of other R-rated properties with cartoons like Robocop and Rambo. So basically this is a Conan that does a considerably less amount of wenching and disemboweling than your average, everyday Conan. A kinder, gentler Conan. Ain’t that a kick in the teeth? Regardless, Conan can never have enough action figures, mainly because he doesn’t get enough. A line based on his 65 episode cartoon would work well, due to the interesting character designs that accompany Conan himself.
Zen, Intergalactic Ninja
Another comic and cartoon character with a toyline, Zen had a very brief but very interesting line filled with colorful and strange designs, which is all I ever want out of a toyline. I especially like Lord Contaminous. Not only is the name as metal as it can get, his design looks like someone who eats babies for fun. If that doesn’t say “update my action figure,’” then we’re on two different planets, pal.
Bots Master
Yeah, you just said “what the hell is Bots Master” which is the same thing I said, but my personal fondness for robots demanded this line’s inclusion. Bots Master has some very cool robot designs including one character named “Ninjzz.” I know where my head went when I read that name, and I also know you’ll never see him coming. If there’s one thing I don’t have enough of outside of space monkeys, it’s robots. I mean, I probably have a lot of robot action figures, but I can never have too many. I’M OVER-EXPLAINING!
There’s also a character called “Humabot.” Is he a human robot? How does that work? Is he…just a little humid? I don’t know. Mysteries abound. All I know is that I want a line of Bots Masters, and I want it now.
THAT WAS FIVE!!
