While 2017 has been an excellent year for damn near everything figure related, there’s always a few lines and properties that just don’t seem to make it to the new golden age. And few have missed as many cracks at the revitalization as G.I. Joe.
Maligned worst by its own parent company, the Joes have been shuffled off to the corner of the action figure world, with Star Wars all but completely taking its slot, and there’s little left of the line that, along with Transformers and My Little Pony, made Hasbro the powerhouse of the 1980s. Now, they address the property with a demeanor that at best sounds indifferent and at worst demeaning, and they are content, maybe even confident, that isn’t going to change unless Hollywood comes knocking.
But — all isn’t lost. Welcome to the insurgency.
Lanard toys and their The Corps!, Chap Mei, and their TRU Heroes line seem to be engaged in a glorious arms race. Where the Rhode Island boys debate the veracity of rehashing another two-pack, these companies are playing some serious one-upmanship. And after dropping my damn jaw with their Beast Bomber, Chap Mei has seen their B-25 and raised them a ****ing Super Jolly Green.
I came across this box, completely unaware, on a somewhat rare stop at Toys R Us. When I grabbed it, a young guy walked past and echoed my shock:
“Dude! How much is that!”
“I have no idea, but I’m buying it!”
“That thing is sweet!”
There you go, Hasbro. Free anecdotal market research proves little (and big) boys love big helicopters.
Anyway, someone out there has been patiently waiting for me to say it, so here it is — looking at the canopy, I got the impression that not only could you fit 3-4 Joes in this thing, but I bet you could fit a 6-inch figure.
And the answer is yes. By simply removing the control yoke, which is just pegged in, you’re left with a bench that can easily seat a large 6-inch figure.
Now the CH-53 that this is based on is, in reality, a huge helo. The primary use of most of these helicopters in U.S. service is search and rescue. They are among the most powerful in the world, heavily armored, well-armed, and with long range and cargo capacity.
“Downscaling” this helicopter to 1:12 means it isn’t quite as massive, more like a Huey, but I assure you, it’s still damn big.
And this one is not short on features, either. A massive free-spinning rotor hub holds five huge blades, that maybe could have folded but look impressive as hell. There is a simple push-button winch and reel on the left side, and a sliding turret mount that can be used from inside the fuse, or rotated out from the body on its own platform.
There are lights and sounds emitting from the engine compartment, including a little red LED that blinks in the cabin. A great touch.
It has a read cargo door that snaps securely, and drops down to ramp a respectable size of vehicle through it. Sadly, not a Vamp, but anything close to this included jeep work great.
There’s also two figures, a medic gurney and a sprue of weaponry — a usual among Chap Mei figures.
And it’s all sitting on a shelf, at Toys R Us, for about $50.
I have to be honest, I knew that I was going to be customizing this thing before I left the parking lot. And so there will be a couple updates on the build as I go to follow it. But I was not expecting just how much GTG this thing was going to be straight out of the box. Sure, it’s not like getting a BBI helo — there’s no windows, the landing gear is fixed, and they cheated a little on the LR exterior tanks — but it is really fun as-is. Pop out some panels, and the 6-inch figures fit right in. It’s something else.
I occasionally get messages from people who envy my vehicle collection. And they talk about how frustrating it is not to be able to source some of the stuff I have. Well, for once, I get to tell you this one is available RIGHT NOW. It’s a TRU exclusive, hell, it’s probably on their website. But this one is available. And pretty damn cheap for what you’re getting.
So if you ever eyeballed my Madelman helicopters with envy, go grab this one. If the Tomahawk never quite did the job for your Joes, get this one. And hopefully, this little arms race can continue. I can’t wait to see what Lanard has for a rebuttal this Christmas. And maybe, just maybe, Hasbro can see this and jump back in.
But if we keep getting stuff like this, we honestly won’t need em.
