They don’t always do it right the first time. The earliest action figure iterations of many comic book characters have fallen short of collector expectations. They may be weirdly sculpted or badly articulated or just inexplicably wrong. Here are ten characters who need better figures in Marvel Legends!
Guardian
Okay, raise your hand: who here likes Alpha Flight? Who here actually managed to find Guardian when he was released back in 2008? Right. Guardian was the one figure everyone wanted out of this dud wave, making him instantly “rare.” Fans of the character wanted him, completists wanted him, Canadians wanted him. I know, I sold mine to a Canuck! I parted with Guardian mostly because I was broke, but also because he just wasn’t all that great. He was on an outdated body and sported a serious pinhead, looking more like a 5-inch figure than a Marvel Legend. Guardian is a classic character who got a raw deal and deserves another shot. Okay, you can put your hands down now.
Rogue
We nearly saw a Rogue update a few years back but it nevah happened. Now that Hasbro has some new female bodies to work with (hmm, that sounds weird, huh?), it’s time for this Southern belle to get a new figure. Collectors may be split on what costume they want to see, but judicious use of a simple plastic overlay could allow for both classic and modern versions of the character to be produced. The original figure was pure undiluted nightmare fuel, and the later update just didn’t hit the mark. Rogue remains one of the most popular X-Men and a well-done version of the character is long overdue.
The Fantastic Four
Looks like I’m cheating already. But come on, are you going to argue that you already have the perfect representation of Marvel’s First Family? Because that pic above sure isn’t it. Hasbro came closest with its Mister Fantastic/Thing and Human Torch/Invisible Girl 2-packs, but if you missed those, you’re SOL. The time for the definitive Fantastic Four set is here, Fox and the Devil be damned. DON’T make them artist-specific. DON’T put them in weird modern costumes that are already obsolete by the time the figures come out. DO give them classic comic-book looks with sensible accessories. I don’t mind a stretchy Reed as long as I have the option of displaying him in a “powered down” form. It’s not like he just hangs around the house like that.
The Black Knight
The Black Knight is one of those classically anachronistic Marvel characters. Much like a certain irritable, purple-clad bowman, a regular Joe with a sword shouldn’t really have any place on the world’s premier superteam, but somehow it works. The fact that Dane Whitman knows his way around a test tube and has a winged horse doesn’t hurt his cause any; as the poor man’s Hank Pym, Whitman has scienced his teammates out of countless jams, occasionally sporting a leather jacket over his chainmail. In spite of this fashion faux pas, Black Knight deserves a decent figure, not Hasbro’s forgettable attempt.
Namor
Okay, let me say this: the ToyBiz Namor head is fantastic. The paint is lovely and the sculpt is top-notch. The transition from page to plastic may be unrivaled in all of Marvel Legends. That said, his head is HUGE — but it had to be in order to look right on the reused WWF body. I get it, I accept it, but the figure falls short of the ideal Namor. And the less said about the Hasbro version, the better. It’s time for a new Sub-Mariner. Two, in fact: one in his classic green trunks and one in his more modern black-and-blue suit. The chainmail trunks on the classic version would be fairly inexpensive as far as tooling a new figure goes, while a modern variant throws a bone to the Hucks of the world. Make it so, Hasbro.
Tigra
Sometimes you can say at least they tried. This isn’t one of those times. It probably would have been better to get the mocked-up Magneto from the Toy Fare poll than this pitiful kitty. Undersized, under-articulated and altogether un-catlike, Tigra is at least blessedly rare. All the more reason for Hasbro to produce a new and improved version of the Avenger’s resident feline. I mean, she must have a Netflix series or something coming out soon, right?
The Silver Surfer
They’ve tried and they’ve failed. For whatever reason a decent representation of the Silver Surfer escapes us. What’s so hard about getting this guy right? He’s a nude bald dude — this shouldn’t be an issue for a company that’s rebuilt Marvel Legends on the Bucky Cap body. This figure is so easy and obvious Hasbro should just give one to us with every purchase — the idea we’re still without an acceptable Silver Surfer in our collections is inexplicable, antagonistic, and egregious! Of course they’re going to throw in a surfboard! Of course they’re gonna give him a Howard the Duck pack-in! It’s time to make it right, Hasbro! Am I raving? I’m raving!
Wonder Man
By now some of you are hating me. You hate my guts because I haven’t listed your choices. I know, and I’m sorry. I can only look at the action figures on my shelf and give an honest appraisal of what I see there. Case in point: Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man. Some folks may be content with the t-shirt-sporting muscle-head ToyBiz dropped in series 11, but I am not one of them. I know that a classic safari-jacket-wearing Wonder Man is just one overlay away. Hasbro could do it in their sleep if they wanted to: make it part of a 3-pack, make it a con-exclusive, just make it already.
Moon Knight
Do I really need to get into this? Moon Knight, one of Marvel’s coolest characters, getting stuck with a figure that can barely stand up? Need I mention his goofy articulated fingers that can’t hold his weapons? The hood that doesn’t look good in any position? Oh yeah, and the fact he’s not actually white? To quote Mrs. Anthill, “The stupid, I cannot brain.” Another easy slam-dunk for Hasbro, unless they’re tired of talking our money.
The Mandarin
It’s one thing to get screwed in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We Hank Pym fans know all about that. What really stinks is when you don’t a have decent action figure. This is the rassin’-frassin’ Mandarin we’re talking about, folks — he’s as much a part of Iron Man’s history as booze and transistors. The idea that his 6-inch legacy amounts to a dog’s rubber chew-toy is heartbreaking. When this figure was released, ToyBiz was like a favorite uncle — fun, crazy, and not long for this world. It was making promises it couldn’t keep and sleeping around on couches. The Mandarin is the perfect example of the generosity of a drunk — excessive, sloppy, and sad to think about on the holidays. And while my therapist can’t heal the scars, perhaps Hasbro can?
Was this list a huge fail because I didn’t list your choices? Excoriate me on the Fwoosh forums!
