Hey, Hasbro! Secret Wars is hot right now. let’s get these characters! OK, so I repeated the title, but it’s the truth, and it’s looking like it’s going to be even hotter next year, which is appropriate considering next year will be the 31st anniversary. Well, that’s not exactly the most momentous of anniversaries, but I guess it’s close enough. But with a brand new printing of the entire 12 issue Secret Wars saga plus all the relevant tie-ins, an entirely new Secret Wars mini-series and upscaled versions of the vintage Secret Wars action figures (preorder black costume Spidey here), it’s never been hotter.
However, though the 1984 event featured a veritable who’s who of Marvel characters, can you believe with well over a decade of Marvel figures being produced in the 6-inch scale by two different companies we still can’t put together a complete roster of every hero and villain that was spirited away to Battleworld by the omnipotent Beyonder? That’s unpossible!
Granted, the actual Secret Wars toy line of the ’80s didn’t do much better. We got a handful of heavy hitters, but then the line itself deviated from the original concept and added in characters like Falcon, Baron Zemo, and Hobgoblin that had never stepped foot on Battleworld. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the line, but Daredevil was not fighting alongside the heroes on that far-flung planet. Odd.
But the good news is that it wouldn’t take that much effort to be able to put together a comprehensive lineup of all the good guys and bad guys. We already have so many… we’re soooo close. Who’s left?
Let’s take a look at the heroes first.
I’m going to get quite anal with this and go for outfit accuracy. That means if we have the character but not the specific outfit, it doesn’t count. Yes, a lot of these need new versions pretty much across the board, like Cap, Hulk, Cyclops… hell, we need a lot. But for argument’s sake, let’s just call them “done” even if they’re sub-par. But for those we don’t have in those specific costumes, they’re not done. So despite the fact that we have a Rogue, we don’t have that Rogue, so she’s still a check mark on the “need” category. Likewise, Reed is needed in the black and white uniform. So who do we need from this picture?
Reed and Rogue, as stated. Also, She-Hulk in her leotard-styled uniform, and a Wasp figure in that costume. While we have two different Mohawk Storms, we don’t have one entirely accurate to the era with a vest, so she’s also needed.
I think most noteworthy of all is that we have a version of all of those characters except for Monica Rambeau herself, who was Captain Marvel at the time. This is just further proof that she is, without a doubt, one of the most egregious holes in the collection, matched only by Quasar.
So see? We’re so close. So very close.
Now let’s take a look at the villains. Again, we’re very close on the villains side as well, but there’s more missing here.
The Wrecking Crew is three-fourths finished; we just need that Bulldozer figure to finish them off, and we need him in his classic costume, not the slightly less classic one that has been shown. I guess that’s a moot point by now, but maybe they can redo the whole lot of them on the Hyperion body and make a classic Bulldozer and a Piledriver with fists.
Molecule Man is another long-time Avenger villain without representation. As one of the most powerful beings in the Marvel Universe, he’s another sorely missed component. And speaking of gigantic glaring holes… Enchantress is still missing from our collective collections. I can’t believe it any more than you can, but we still don’t have her.
We’ve had two versions of Absorbing Man, but I kind of dislike both of them, and neither of them have these color pants, so I’m counting him just because we need a new one. The Toy Biz one is outdated, and the Hasbro one was “early Hasbro”… which is a synonym for crappily articulated.
Finally from this picture, there’s Ultron. Oh, Ultron, they just don’t want to do you right, do they? Maybe one day they’ll finally make a good version of you in Marvel Legends. But until then I bang the drum and wait.
Not pictured but also needed are a Volcana and a Titania. They showed up later in the series, empowered by Doom, and are every bit as necessary if you want everyone to be represented. Klaw showed up later also, but we have him, so there.
I would love what has been termed the “Beyondoom,” which is a Dr. Doom with the Beyonder’s powers. It was the version immortalized in the old toy line and is a cool cape-less look for him… though regular size would be fine. He’s all hopped up on omnipotence in the above picture.
So despite having the bulk of the main characters, there are still a few absurdly obvious characters that haven’t been made that tend to be some of the most requested characters. That sounds like synergy. I hear a 32nd anniversary can be useful, how about we shoot for 2016 to get these lineups finished?
