I am an unabashed Michael Jackson fan: unabashed, unashamed, and unapologetic. I took enough crap for that in elementary school that I don’t care what anybody thinks of it now. The man made some of the greatest pop music there is and that’s the end of it. So when Figuarts revealed their action figure from MJ’s “Smooth Criminal” music video (preorder here!), most notable for his gravity-defying lean (that the figure can pull off perfectly), I knew that regardless of how much I tried to talk myself out of it, I’d be getting it. Because it’s cool, and getting cool stuff is the reason I’m in this toy collecting hobby to begin with. But because of that toy collecting fervor, I know that one won’t be enough. So I figured why not write-up a “top five costumes of Michael’s that I’d buy”? So here we are. None of this will be surprising to the other Michael Jackson fans out there, but let’s take a look at what I’ve come up with. In almost no order…
Billie Jean
Stylishly dressed in a shiny black suit with a red bow tie offering the only pop of color, Michael boogied his way down an illuminated sidewalk while his pants were just a bit too short. Nattily dressed, this would be great on a small display with real light-up tiles. Hell, I’d pay a little bit more for such a thing. Thriller, the album, offered catchy song after catchy song, and this one was no exception.
Speaking of “Billie Jean,” let’s keep up the mini-theme with:
Michael Jackson’s 30th anniversary of Motown performance of “Billie Jean”
OK, that was an unwieldy set up, but this performance is noteworthy for one thing: the debut of the single glove, something as iconic to Michael Jackson as the moonwalk, which he also debuted. In other words, he exploded onto the scene and offered pop culture fodder that they’d be chewing on for years. “You’re welcome,” zombie MJ says. As always, he made a statement with what he wore, and what better way to have him permanently moonwalking on the shelf than with this figure.
Beat it
That jacket. What a color. It just jumps out at you. Where the previous choices were predominantly black and white, this one jumps out at you and hits you in the face with its very ’80s color. With this one on the shelf, you can almost hear Eddie Van Halen’s solo revving into high gear.
Bad
Sh’mon. Or however it’s spelled. Probably the coolest of all on this list, this is badass biker gang Michael. I mean, the dude knew there was no way he’d be able to win in a fair fight, seeing as he weighed about 90 pounds, so he went “West Side Story dance fight” on Wesley Snipes’ ass. Yeah, Wesley Snipes. Remember that time Michael Jackson and Blade had a dance-fight? Exactly. Someone’s always trying to moonwalk uphill. If this doesn’t scream toyetic funkiness, then nothing does.
And finally, inevitably:
Thriller
Yes, Revoltech already made a Thriller-era Michael Jackson figure. But we’re talking Figuarts here, and there’s no reason for them not to give it a shot also. He’s have to come with two heads, maybe three if we’re going for an end of the video freak-eyes Michael in addition to creepy hollow-cheeked zombie Michael. Every costume on this list is iconic in its own way, but Michael Jackson’s Thriller costume goes way beyond iconic and into an entirely new strata called era-defining. Thriller the song, Thriller the video, Thriller the album — all of it came together in a perfect storm that will never be replicated by any one artist again. Hyperbolic? For sure. But that’s the way it is. And what better way to celebrate such hyperbole than with a set of kickass Michael Jackson toys? I know I’d buy every one. What about you?
Hee-Hee!