Excitement is high for Mattel’s upcoming Batman Classic TV Series action figure line. The first two assortments feature Batman and Robin, as well as classic Rogues Gallery members Penguin, Riddler, Joker, and Catwoman. A strong start for sure, but any Batman fan knows those four are just the tip of the villainous iceberg. Over the course of 120 episodes, the Dynamic Duo fought dozens of nefarious evil-doers. Here are the top 10 Batman TV Series Villains Who Still Need Figures!
Portrayed by David Wayne in episodes 13 and 14 (“The Thirteenth Hat“/”Batman Stands Pat“) and episodes 69 and 70 (“The Contaminated Cowl“/“The Mad Hatter Runs Afowl“).
Gotham City is known for it’s weird villains. Evil clowns, alligator men, and shape-shifting mud monsters are the norm, but stranger still are the guys in suits. Unlike the more obvious rogues, these suit guys appear perfectly normal until they gas you with a clock or hit you on the head with a giant question mark. For example, Jervis Tetch here seems no different than any other overdressed resident of Gotham, except for the fact he trades in mind control via the Super Instant Mesmerizing Device in his hat. See what I mean? At least with Man-Bat you know where you stand. Anyway, Jervis likes hats. He likes ’em so much so he commits crimes to get them. In his second appearance he exposes Batman’s cowl to radiation, which seems like an interesting premise — until we discover all the radiation does is turn the cowl pink. After that people started calling him Sad Hatter and he stopped coming to the meetings. Still, he’d make a sweet figure.
Villainous Quote: “Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance!”
Portrayed by Roddy McDowall in episodes 29 and 30 (“The Bookworm Turns“/”While Gotham City Burns!”).
The Bookworm has always bothered me. Reviewing his episode actually brought back uncomfortable childhood memories. As a kid I clearly remember waiting for him to actually turn into a worm. (Spoiler: it never happens.) I don’t know why I expected some sort of literal translation of the concept; I thought he had to be more than just another guy in a suit. Silly me, right? All of the clever references to classical literature were completely wasted, as I got my culture from Bugs Bunny and MAD Magazine. No wonder I expected him to turn into a giant worm. On a more relevant note, McDowall turned in a memorable performance and the costume department did an amazing job replicating his gilded leather “book-cover” jacket and hat. It’s a design that would translate beautifully to an action figure.
Villainous Quote: “Do not ask for whom this bell tolls, it tolls for thee!”
Portrayed by Art Carney in episodes 35 and 36 (“Shoot A Crooked Arrow“/”Walk The Straight And Narrow“).
There’s a strange fascination with archers in the world of comics — every superteam seems to have one. Despite the fact that they posses no special powers and fight with a weapon that can generously be described as “antiquated,” the archer archetype remains wildly popular. Batman ended up on the wrong end of an arrow in season 2, episodes 35 and 36, when he fell into the sights of Gotham’s own bowman Archer. You know, there was an easy predictability to crime in the 1960s: it was probably oddly comforting to the citizens of Gotham City that, in spite on the near-constant crime sprees, it was never going to get any weirder than Art Carney in a Robin Hood outfit. Art plays the role straight which has earned him more pans than praises, but critics miss the point: his Robin Hood-style character is a man of the people. He’s not a flamboyant criminal genius like the Joker, he’s just a regular guy out to fix what he thinks is wrong with the world. Anyway, people like archers, so he’s #8.
Villainous Quote: “Gentlemen, string thy bows.”
Portrayed by Malachi Throne in episodes 17 and 18 (“True Or False Face”/”Holy Rat Race!”).
False Face, the self-proclaimed “Master of Disguise,” is one of those forgotten Batman villains. Appearing in only two episodes at the tail-end of the first season, the character is easily overlooked, but shouldn’t be written off. He actually got the better of the Dynamic Duo during their encounter, leaving them tied up in the path of an oncoming train. Sure, they escaped, but he came closer to killing him than the Joker ever did. That’s worth something, right? With his flair for the dramatic, False Face has a Doctor Phibes-like quality that makes him one of the creepier rogues. He’d make an excellent action figure, as long as he came with his trademark disguises.
Villainous Quote: “All that glitters is gone.”
Portrayed by Shelley Winters in episodes 43 and 44 (“The Greatest Mother of Them All”/”Ma Parker”).
Judging from the size of “Team Granny Goodness” here at the Fwoosh, the action figure world is chomping at the bit for stocky matronly types. Who doesn’t love their ma, right? Now give her a machine gun and a rocket-powered wheelchair and you’ve got yourself the must-have figure of 2013. Ma has more than proved her worth as a rogue: I’d like to see Riddler feed a family of four dinner in the middle of a Waco-style firefight. Created specifically for the show, Ma Parker is played to the hilt by Shelley Winters. All of the best guest stars bring an energy and momentum to their roles and Ms. Winters is a dynamo, propelling the whole show forward with her fiery performance. It’s a shame she only appeared in one two-part episode: the scenes between her and Batman are pure gold. Watching the Caped Crusader tread the fine line between intolerance for crime and respect for one’s elders is a riot and Ma’s reappearance could have added a lot to the show’s lackluster third season.
Villainous Quote: “It’s that meddling Caped Crusader. Go tell him to take a bat-jump in Gotham Lake!”
Portrayed by Milton Berle in episodes 101 and 112 (“Louie The Liliac” & “Louie’s Lethal Lilac Time”).
Another character created specifically for the show, Louie the Lilac is a poor man’s Poison Ivy. In a suit (sigh). Louie is a gangster with a thing for flowers. By now you’ve noticed all of these guys have a thing — clocks, hats, flowers, it’s always something lame. How come no one’s thing is Soviet weapons-grade coke and underage Thai ladyboys? Unsavory, yes, but at least it would make Louie the flippin’ Lilac a little more interesting. Anyhow, in one episode Louie buys the confidence of a bunch of hippies, because he knows that they will be “the leaders of tomorrow.” Way to think long-term, man. Say, you haven’t been smoking any of those flowers, have you? ‘Coz that would explain a lot. Milton Berle plays Louie and it’s odd and uncomfortable for everybody. Still, his man-eating plants are worth a chuckle and would make great pack-ins for the figure.
Villainous Quote: “Some of the young people of the flower generation will be the future leaders of the country, Arbutus. And while I have them in my flower power and control their minds, Gotham City will be my garden. To loot and plunder. And later, the world!”
Portrayed by Otto Preminger in episodes 53 and 54 (“Green Ice”/”Deep Freeze”).
My choice of Preminger may not be a popular one, but the bottom line is he was the best-looking Mister Freeze. When it comes to action figures, that’s what matters: no one cares about original Freeze George Sander’s nuanced performance or the fact that Preminger was a bitter old jerk to everyone on the show, we just want the cool-looking bald guy with the freeze gun. Unlike the domed look that would become synonymous thanks to later interpretations of the character, the television version wears a “freeze collar.” There may have been a dome, but I don’t get the feeling Otto would be too keen on wearing it. Hey, I’m not gonna ask him to!
Villainous Quote: “Sorry I can’t take you all with me, ladies!”
Portrayed by Victor Buono in episodes 27 and 28 (“The Curse of Tut”/”The Pharaoh’s in a Rut”), episodes 41 and 42 (“The Spell of Tut”/”Tut’s Case is Shut”), episodes 87 and 88 (“King Tut’s Coup”/”Batman’s Waterloo”), episode 100 (“The Unkindest Tut Of All”), and episode 117 (“I’ll Be A Mummy’s Uncle”).
Of all of the villainous characters created specifically for the show, King Tut is by far the most memorable. Not truly evil, this merely misguided history professor turns into his Egyptian alter ego when he’s struck on the head, a surprisingly common injury for history professors, if the show is to be believed. When in his King Tut persona, he believes Gotham to be the ancient Egyptian city Thebes and he’ll stop at nothing to control it. One of only two villains to ever discover Batman’s secret identity, Tut was more often defeated by his own hubris than by any intervention from the Caped Crusader. The character filled out the TV rogues wonderfully and he was in eight episodes total. Victor Buono is terrific as Tut, swinging between grandiose and bellicose — one moment the doomed Hamlet, the next a bubbly W.C. Fields. In short, Tut is a nut. He steals every scene and it’s clear Buono is having an absolute blast. You never get the sense he’s just there for the paycheck: he gets Tut and fully inhabits the character. One of the highlights of the show.
Villainous Quote: “No! No violence. I can’t stand violence. But I like torture. Hmmm, it’s good clean fun!”
Portrayed by Walter Slezak in episodes 45 and 46 (“The Clock King’s Crazy Crimes”/”The Clock King Gets Crowned”).
Originally a Green Arrow villain, Clock King moved out of Star City in 1966 and started a new life in Gotham as a Batman rogue. It’s a step up, really. Seriously, who would you rather lose to: Beardy MgGee and his stupid arrows or Batman? Right, you get it. Clock King is dressed a little differently than his comic’s counterpart; for some reason the show’s producers thought we wouldn’t want to see an overweight 57 year old in tight blue spandex. Missed opportunities, huh? Anyway, it’s nice to see that Grandpa is staying active after retirement; after Grandma died all he wanted to do was sulk in that old workshop of his, but his new life of crime has done wonders for him. And those TIME-LIFE Home Clock repair courses he took are really paying off. If you’d like to know more about the Clock King, join our Prayer Circle — https://thefwoosh.com/2013/05/make-my-mort-dcs-clock-king
Villainous Quote: “Some people kill time, but this time, time is going to kill you!”
Portrayed by Vincent Price in episodes 47 and 48 (“An Egg Grows in Gotham”/”The Yegg Foes in Gotham”), 101 and 102 (“The Ogg and I”/”How to Hatch a Dinosaur”), and 109 (“The Ogg Couple”).
Number one is egg-actlly who you’d egg-spect! Vincent Price egg-cels as criminal mastermind Egghead, who Batman himself describes as “…the smartest villain we’ve ever faced.” One of the most memorable guest stars in the show’s history, his over-the-top performance was tailor-made for the show. With his flamboyant mannerisms and wry charm, he provided an ideal foil for the straight-laced Dynamic Duo. Armed with his arsenal of egg-splosives and egg-xotic deathtraps, Egghead starred in five egg-hilarating episodes. One of the most visually egg-spressive rogues in his white and yellow suit, he depends on a life of crime to provide for his egg-stravagant lifestyle. I’ve always dug the Pricester and he delivers a Grade-A performance here. If my praise seems egg-sessive I apologize — I’m just so egg-cited to be done with this list! And if you don’t like egg puns, well, the yolks on you.
Villainous Quote: “Eggscelent. I might even go as far as to say… eggsquisite.”
Jason R Mink is the Man in the Ant Hill!
