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Fwoosh Week in Review – 9/13/9

Top ten time has rolled around once more, causing many fwooshers’ heads to explode with the strain of trying to fit an entire universe of wants into ten puny slots. This is all part of a devious plot devised by the moderators to distract us with indecisions while they ransack our houses and plunder our valuables. Even our valuable Plunders.  For those of you that army-built Ka-zar. You know who you are, guy that likes naked guys. With no nipples.

One paragraph in and I’ve already gotten lost…A new record!

Forthwith, in the Microverse:

In the Marvel Universe line, wave 2 of Secret Wars has hit shelves, causing shelves across the world to wince. If
anybody was holding out hopes they may fix Hulk’s articulation below his crotch, he is still unable to do anything with his legs except unconvincingly kick a football.

Colossus has joined the X-Men Origins: Wolverine figures. Some have issues with his height. Some have issues with his sculpt. Some have issues with him having the hots for Kitty when she was 14. These issues were somewhere around the 140-150 range or something, I think.

VOTE ULTRON IN THE MARVEL LEGENDS TOP TEN!! Seriously. It’s just farkin’ ridiculous now.

VOTE TURNER D. CENTURY IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE TOP TEN!!
I have no idea why.

Heretofore, in the Multiverse:

Much has happened here in the land of DCUC and Piffy’s obsession for Aztek. Much indeed. For instance: Toyfare released first images of Series 12. Iron has attachments, Darkseid has a badass glove for the killing and the Michael Jackson impersonations. (too soon?)

Even more important news–Wave 13’s lineup is now as known as it can be without being verified by people that verify things. It is as follows:

Donna Troy
Superboy
Negative Man
Modern Blue Beetle
Cyclotron
Blue Devil
Cheetah

C&C Trigon

With each new lineup DCUC is showing the balls that Marvel Legends sadly never had. The 4h are showing a dedication
to digging deep into the huge well of characters and dragging out a handful of gems with every wave. Many Fwooshers are meeting the announcement of the Super-Powers-created Cyclotron with a resounding “MEH!” With the pattern thus far, it’s possible they may make him the variant of the comic version of Cyclotron. Or they may not. Either way, while some treat the 4h’s fealty to Super Powers as heresy, some people don’t mind having DCUC versions of SP figures, so if his existence is causing you migraines try concentrating on the 7 comic accurate figures and unclench something before your butts turn inside out. Nobody wants that.

With the announcement of wave 13, Fwooshers once again are reminded that they do not yet have A Martian Manhunter in their collection. Mattel has responded with ORLY? and fwoosh responded with YARLY! and then it just went on and on in a snowballing internet meme version of “telephone” until mattel was saying “blanketcornplane” and Fwoosh was saying “sevencentpurpleglue”

Oh, right. Top Ten.

…AMBUSH BUG!!!!!!!

we now return you to your regularly scheduled babble.

In yet another bit of evidence that Mattel is killing the line, (previous statement not serious, the line is fine) apparently wave 9 was made in smaller numbers. So if you see them, don’t pass them by until next time. There won’t be a next time. That time is all you have. Grab that time and hold onto it. I sound like an 80’s hair metal ballad.

In media res, in the Expanded Universe:

Webstor comes out Tuesday. Awesome spidery guy. Don’t forget.

We learned that there isn’t a large angry horde of fwooshers boycotting Princess of Power figures in the MOtuc, So we wouldn’t mind toys of girls, bucking all evidence of boys and their boytoys. I will however be getting cootie shots before purchasing. Can’t be too careful.

Moss man’s flocking is–oh I already did that. It’s beign worked on. Getting fixed. Yep.

In the Bar with no Name:

Fwooshers are still trying to Delete plz. stop that or you’ll go blind.

And that, I believe, covers the important points. In conclusion VOTE FOR AMBUSH BUG. Thanks you and good night, morning, afternoon ar whatever.

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3 thoughts on “Fwoosh Week in Review – 9/13/9

  1. We know Wave 13 and its not coming out until next summer. On to Wave 14, the underproduced wave of Fall 2010! ahahah

  2. I think you are taking this column too seriously.

    There is no hate for Super Powers (Fleischer Superman cartoons were the best), Super Friends (Fleischer Superman cartoons were the best) or DC Animated (Fleischer Superman cartoons were the best) as whole at thefwoosh. We love all the cartoons and toys as much as we love the comics, Golden Age through Modern.

    Although I do have to question your

    Until the DCUC it was the best line of DC Comics action figures ever.

    What was DC Direct? Curdled Milk?

  3. Why the hate for Super Powers? Until the DCUC it was the best line of DC Comics action figures ever. Cyclotron is one of the best figures in that line – an amazing sculpt, great paint apps, two separate features (the tornado action legs and the removable human mask). Any person who calls them an action figure collector should understand the importance of that line and the craftsmanship that went into the making of figures like Cyclotron, Plasticman, Orion, and Cyborg.

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