SDCC IS COMING THIS WEEK!! NEW TOYS!! INFORMATION!! REVELATIONS FOR 2010!! PICTURES OF DRUNKEN FWOOSHERS!!
Yes, the convention we wait all year for is approaching faster than Gleek to an e-bay scalper. Can you feel the moist excitement hanging low in the air, obscuring our vision, dampening our brow, making our shirts cling to us like damp washrags? That’s the fear-sweat.
It’s centered mostly in the Marvel Forum.
It’s mostly Marvel Legends fans.
The Microverse:
In keeping with the mounting panic and fear associated with SDCC, I saw resident monkey Lucid Silverback shave his entire body and run down Main Street shouting “WHAT’S A SIMIAN GOTTA DO TO GET A LITTLE INHUMANS LOVE, FOR DOOP’S SAKE!!”
Quote not necessarily spoken by Lucid. For purposes of this column, a paid impersonator was brought in.
ACTUAL LUCID QUOTE FOLLOWS!!!
I predict we will see either a Safari-Jacket Wonder Man or a classic Ultron prototype.
I may marry the monkey.
People are wavering between cautious optimism and fatalistic doomsday prophesizing. Many want the line to die just so it won’t be a huge plastic tease anymore. Those people are commies. Zombie Commies.
Optimistic fwoosher Comtrek said
You guys are such a buzz kill… why go on for pages predicting the worst? What kind of satisfaction does that give you, if any?
Another quote attributed to Comtrek at the site of the Hindenburg’s doomed voyage:
Doesn’t look too bad.
To put it simply, I’d rather go from “meh” to “WOOHOO” than “WOOHOO” to “meh.”
Pictures of the figures from the new two packs have surfaced. Tony’s wearing what appears to be an Iron Corset or something. That’s what alcohol does to you, ladies and gentlemen. Makes you wear metal costumes that are too small for you. That’s what killed Elvis.
The Multiverse:
We got a Gleek first look. Gleek. Gleek. I just like saying Gleek. Gleeeeeeek. Say it when you’re by yourself, see if the calmness doesn’t come over you.
The Twins and Gleek look good, but the No Monkey, No Money campaign is still in full swing for many angered fwooshers. Sadly I don’t think this is affecting Mattel much, as they just made 1.5 trillion dollars while I wrote that sentence.
The Expanded Universe:
Man-At-Arms sold out within 45 minutes or so. Gotta be the ‘stache.
A first look at Tri-Klops went up. It’s sexy. Once again, Veebee gets his toys before the rest of us. His deal with the devil has paid off well. And by “devil” I of course mean Pabs.
The Multiplex:
Yet another celebrity death came this week: Walter Cronkite. I don’t think anybody saw that coming.
First pictures of Scarlett Johansson As Black Widow in Iron Man 2 have arrived. Black Widow as we all know is a red-haired Russian spy, and Scarlett Johansson is a blonde american. Reports are inconclusive to whether or not Scarlett is a spy. She has however dyed her hair for this role, following Hollywood’s trend of never casting a redhead for the part of a redhead.
I’ve never quite understood the appeal of Scarlett, her face is kind of…just there. Must be the boobs. And I must be Captain Obvious. Fwooshers seem to approve of the first looks we’ve gotten of her in the Widow costume.
An out of context quote for Black Widow comes from Zephyr_Roc:
I think she’s on the floor
Dammit Scarlett, not again. Get up.
and that’s the end of another abbreviated week in review. Remember, this week is SDCCOHMYGODNEWTOYS!! So next week’s should have a LOT more substance. Unless SDCC sucks, and I’ll be making stuff up to keep from weeping.
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