IT SO TOUGH HULK CAN HARDLY STANDS IT! 
Buzzy Fret asked:
Dear Hulk,
I was just watching a DVD
of CN’s Justice League and there is a story with Solomon Grundy rippin’
off your whole routine! He’s all "RAAARRGGGHH" and "Grundy crush" and
jumping around like you do and then there’s a special ops military team
of GrundyBusters headed up by a guy that looks a lot like your
ex-Dad-in-Law Thunderbolt Ross! I’m surprised Grundy didn’t put on some
purple pants! Did you and your lawyers contact Bruce Timm and his
lawyers? Did they pay you royalties? Were you Grundy’s acting coach? I
need answers!
RAAARGH!! HULK
GOT LIMITED TENSHUN SPAN! HULK HAD TO TAKE BREAK DURING QUESTION!!
BUT…TO ANSWER…HULK THINK PASTY WHITE DOOFUS WATCHED TAPES OF HULK
OER AND OVER TO GET HULK’S MANNER…MANNER…HULK’S MOJO DOWN, AND THEN
RIP HULK OFF. HULK SEE THIS…HULK RIGHT AWAY GO TO PHONE AND CALL
HULK’S PEOPLE. HULK’S PEOPLE TELL HULK "WHO THIS?" HULK SAY IT HULK. SO
THEY HUNG UP ON HULK. APPARENTLY HULK’S PEOPLE LIKE TO BE PAID. HULK
THEN WENT TO JUSTICE LEAGUE HEADQUARTERS. FOUND SUPERFRIENDS. AQUAMAN
SMILED AT HULK. MADE HULK FEEL CREEEEEPY. HULK WENT TO WRONG GUYS. SO
FINALLY, HULK DECIDED TO LOOK UP GRUNDY, HIT HIM. HULK LOOKED UP "S.
GRUNDY." BUT THAT JUST STAN GRUNDY, LOCAL PEDOPHILE. SO…HULK GOT
BORED AND WENT TO STRIP CLUB. EVERYBODY HAPPY.
Hedorah asked:
Dear Hulk,
I
know it was you who left that floater in the men’s room at the sports
bar where I was watching football on Sunday. It was monstrously large,
it was green, and the stench was The Strongest One There Is. Were you
sitting in the corner giggling as people came out gagging and
teary-eyed?
IT ODD HOW HULK
EVEN POOP GREEN, ISN’T IT? HULK NOT KNOW HOW GAMMA INFECT POOP, BUT IT
DOES. HULK LIKE HULK’S GREEN POOPS. THINK IT MAKES HULK SPECIAL. MORE
SPECIAL THAN MOST PEOPLE SAY HULK IS. WHICH IS A LOT. "HULK’S SPECIAL"
THEY SAY. MAKE HULK FEEL GOOD.
Bengaltiger1983 asked:
Hulk – Do you have any good methods of getting blood stains out of clothing?
ONE HINT. FIRE WORK FOR EVERYTHING.
meatloaf of darkness asked:
Hulk, who gives better presents? Santa or Satan?
NEITHER. STAN GIVES BETTER PRESENTS, BUT YOU HAVE TO GET INTO HIS WHITE VAN TO GET THEM, SO IT TRADE OFF.
bigraj asked:
Dear Green One,
Where might moldie find a baby burger?
HULK KNOW LITTLE PLACE WHERE THEY GO TO ORPHANAGE AND HARVEST. HULK NOT FOND OF PLACE. HULK MORE DOG GUY.
MARVEL KNIGHT 2099 asked:
Hey Hulk,
I’m heading to the store. You need anything while I’m gone?
PICK UP HULK SOME DCUC!! HULK NOT FIND THEM ANYWHERE!!
hellspawn asked:
Dear HULK,
Where have all the cowboys gone?
THEY
FOUND OUT IT NOT PAY WELL, GAVE IT UP TO BE BANKERS. EVERYTIME THAT
CASH A CHECK THEY SCREAM "YEEEHAW!" IT…IT SCARES THE OTHER
EMPLOYEES…
sexyvonpoopy asked:
Did you have a Pramulator whenst you was young?
HULK
HAD TWO. CAUSE HULK NEEDED BACKUP IN CASE HULK BREAK FIRST ONE. CAUSE
HULK BROKE LOTS OF THINGS WHEN HULK YOUNG. PRAMUWHATSIS
…TOILETS…PARENTS…DOGGIE…LOTS OF THINGS…
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