Make My Marvel! – Squirrel Girl

This week at MMM, I’m spotlighting the most powerful combatant in the Marvel Universe – Squirrel Girl. Whine as much as you want, fanboy. It’s canon, now.

Last week’s poll re-cap: With 86% of the vote, you chose classic Sauron as the version of the character you most want made for Marvel Legends. I know; I was stunned to the point of losing bowel control, myelf.

Make My Marvel! – Squirrel Girl

Doreen Green is a mutant with abilities proportional to those of the common squirrel as well as being able to communicate with said squirrels. In her first known outting, Doreen donned the mantle of Squirrel Girl and sought out Iron Man in order to train as his sidekick. Iron Man unwisely declined, but was later saved from Doctor Doom by SG and her army of furry birdfeeder raiders when they swarmed the dictator and chewed through the wiring of his airship.

Squirrel Girl spent the next decade or so in mediocrity, basing herself in Central Park. Her superheroic hiatus ended when she saved the Great Lakes Avengers from a group of muggers. In gratitude, the team offered SG membership which she gladly accepted.

However, the first few months of her membership were touched by tragedy when her long time squirrel companion, Monkey Joe, was killed by rejected teammember Leather Boy disguised as Doctor Doom. When SG’s squirrel army was later sucked into a void while fighting Maelstrom, the lone surviving squirrel, Tippy-Toe, became SG’s new sidekick. Over the course of the next several months, Squirrel Girl went on to single-handedly defeat some of the Marvel Universe’s most powerful villains, including: Thanos, Terrax, The Mandarin and M.O.D.O.K.

When the Superhero Civil War began, SG and her teammates quickly registered. SG was soon shocked to learn that her longtime crush, Speedball, had become the tormented Penance. Unable to lift him out of his deep depression, SG chose to travel to the past in order to prevent the events that resulted in Speedball’s transformation. SG made her way to Latveria where Doctor Doom, still traumatized by his earlier defeat at SG’s hands, allowed her to use his time platform.

Squirrel Girl accidentally transported herself to the far future instead of the past where she met an alternate version of Speedball, also from the past. With her spirits lifted by the reunion-of-sorts, SG returned to the present where she immediately threw unwelcome houseguest Deadpool out of the GLI compound.

How to make it: Any decent Squirrel Girl would need to include at least one squirrel as an accessory, though several would be ideal for vexing your Doctor Doom ML. SG could make use of either of the last few average-sized ML female bodies with new forearms, torso and lower legs sculpted to simulate fur. No felt please.