RAAAARGH, LOTTA SIMUN AND SIMMO THIS WEEK! IT CONSPIRACY!
Simun asked:
whose blame/fault is it? Heli’s or AF’s??
HULK THINK BLAMING AF OLD NEWS. BLAMING HELI WAVE OF FUTURE. IT NEW THING ALL KIDS DOING IN CLUBS NOW. DJ SAY "EVERYONE DO THE BLAME HELI," EVERYONE DO THE BLAME HELI. RAAARGH IT SWEEPING THE NATION! HULK TRIED BLAMING HELI ONCE, THREW OUT BACK. GUESS WHAT? THAT HELI’S FAULT.
simmo asked:
Hulk, what is your SOP?
HULK LIKE TO SMASH, THEN SMASH SOME MORE, THEN HULK HAVE TEA, IN WHICH HULK STICK PINKIE OUT, THEN HULK READ FROM LIGHT CLASSICS, THEN HULK SMASH AGAIN. OCCASIONALLY HULK TAKE IN MOVIE. HULK LIKE STEVEN SEGAL. HULK HEARD SOMEONE SAY HE GREAT THESPIAN. HULK WAITED ENTIRE MOVIE, DIDN’T SEE TWO CHICKS MAKING OUT ENTIRE TIME. HULK THINK HE GOT RIPPED OFF.
TFitz asked:
Hulk, Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In an adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (let’s say in lamps which are on a regular table), each switch belongs to one bulb. All are off at the moment. It is impossible to see from one room to another. No help from anybody else is allowed.
How can you find out which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with the bulbs only once?
HULK FLICK TWO SWITCHES. LEAVE BOTH ON FOR A WHILE, THEN TURN ONE SWITCH OFF. THEN HULK GO IN ROOM. ONE BULB STILL ON, ONE BULB OFF BUT HOT, AND ONE BULB COOL. HULK ABLE TO FIGURE OUT SWITCHES FROM THAT.
BOOYAH.
sexyvonpoopy asked:
how come world war hulk started so good and no w its slow and no one is fighting anymore?
(paraphrasing Piffy’s question here… thanks Piffy!)
HULK GIVE UP ON MARVEL. HULK THINK THEY NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE GOOD STORY. HULK THINK THEY BROUGHT IN ANG LEE TO GUIDE STORY. WORLD WAR HULK MEAN HULK SMASH. HULK. NOT. UNDERSTAND. WHAT SO HARD? THAT BEING SAID, HULK NOT READ OWN BOOK. HULK MUCH RATHER LOOK AT PORN. HULK RECENTLY DISCOVERED PORN ON INTERNET. PORN AND THOSE FUNNY CAT PICTURES. HAHA, CAT IN MY CUP, SOAKING UP MY DRINKS. HULK THINK IT CLASSIC.
simmo asked:
If it’s World War Hulk, why is Blackbolt the only non-American involved? Is the Kangaroo too frightened?
HULK GOTTA LEVEL WITH YOU. WORLD WAR HULK NAME JUST MARKETING. HULK NOT GOT PROBLEM WITH WORLD. HULK TOO LAZY TO TAKE PLANET ON. HULK REALLY ONLY INTERESTED IN AN AVENUE OR TWO. MAYBE ONE BOULEVARD. THROW IN A STREET, HULK FINE. BUT WORLD? SHEESH, HULK GOT LAUNDRY TO DO. ONE HUNDRED PURPLE PANTS DON’T WASH THEMSELVES.
simmo asked:
What is Hulk’s opinion of Iran?
HULK USED TO IT. HULK NOT MAGAZINE MODEL, PLENTY OF PEOPLE RUN WHEN THEY SEE HULK.
WAIT…
OH, HOLD ON, HULK GO LOOK AT MAP.
OKAY. IRAN’S PRETTY. BUT HULK PREFER COUNTRY THAT LOOKS LIKE BOOT. THAT JUST NUTS!
simmo asked:
Does Hulk have interest in Canadian dollars?
HULK NOT UNDERSTAND CANADIAN MONEY. HULK HAVE PROBLEM WITH EXCHANGE RATES. ALSO, HULK NOT HAVE BANKING ACCOUNT, SO HULK DOESN’T EARN INTEREST. HULK KEEP HIS MONEY IN HIS SOCK DRAWER. ONE DAY HULK GET SOCKS. HULK HAVEN’T HAD SOCKS IN LONG TIME. HULK THINK HE START GOING UP TO WOMEN, ASK IF THEY’D LIKE TO GIVE ME SOCKS. COULDN’T HURT.
Simun asked:
What is the most effective way to get stains off of underwear?
I ask because I’m sure you’ve soiled quite a few in your day
HULK GOTTA ADMIT, HULK DOESN’T WEAR UNDERWEAR. HULK OUT THERE, SWINGING FREE. BUT HULK HEAR BLEACH DOES GOOD WITH STAINS. BUT HULK REALLY WOULD ADVISE YOU NOT TO BE FILTHY BASTARD. THAT JUST NASTY.
Lucid Silverback esq. asked:
Hulk, have you ever had the experience of having someone holler up at you, "High five!!!" while holding their hand up waiting for a response, only to have you high-five them into the neighboring county?
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT ONE TIME, THIS GUY SAID "UP HIGH," THEN "DOWN LOW," THEN YANK HAND AWAY, AND SAY "TOO SLOW," HULK NOT FIND THAT FUNNY. HULK SLAMMING HAND DOWN INTO AIR. HULK THEN PLAYED ELABORATE GAME THAT COMBINED "GOT YOUR NOSE" AND "KEEPAWAY"
NEEDLESS TO SAY, HULK NOT ALLOWED BACK INTO THAT OLD FOLK’S HOME AGAIN. RAAARGH, HULK NOT GONNA GET TO VISIT GRANNY AGAIN.
WORD!