R A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A R G H ! ! !
pablolobo asked: Hulk how much does it cost to hire you to beat the pulp out of some hackers?
HULK THINK THIS VERY WISE QUESTION, AND HULK LIKE TO TAKE TIME TO ANSWER IT PROPERLY. TO ALL OTHERS WHO SUBMITTED QUESTIONS, HULK GONNA SKIP YOU FOR THIS WEEK. IF YOU GOT PROBLEM WITH THAT, MAIL PROBLEM TO YO MOMMA.
ANYWAY: RAAAARGH! HULK PULP HACKERS FOR FREE. HULK LIKE PULP IN HIS OJ. HULK TAKE NERDS WHO LIKE COMPUTERS SO MUCH AND POUND AND POUND. HOW THEY LIKE THEIR DATA CORRUPTED? HOW THEY LIKE THEIR HARD DRIVES KICKED? HOW THEY LIKE BIG GREEN FOOT UP ASS? HULK PUT FINGERS INTO HACKERS HEADS AND ROOT AROUND IN THEIR MEMORIES!
HULK LIKE TO TELL WHERE HULK GO WHILE FWOOSH REBUILD. AS MANY KNOW, FWOOSH ONLY HOME HULK GOT. HULK HATED AND HOUNDED BY EVERYONE ELSE. WHEN HACKERS MAKE FWOOSH GO BOOM, HULK SAT AT COMPUTER, STARING, WONDERING WHAT HULK GONNA DO. HULK GOT NO SKILLS. HULK ONLY GOT RUDI..RUDIM…BASIC ENGLISH SKILLS.
HULK KEPT PUSHING ENTER BUTTON, THINKING THAT MAKE FWOOSH COME BACK. HULK KEPT HITTING REFRESH. F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5… THAT TOOK UP HULK’S WEEKEND. COME MONDAY, HULK FINALLY MADE FWOOSH LOAD. HULK DO HAPPY PEEPEE DANCE. THEN HULK SEE WARNING, WRITTEN BY WELL KNOWN CRANKY FWOOSHER NAMED MAGNUZ.
RAAAARGH, THIS NOT FWOOSH, HACKERS BE IN YOUR COMPUTER, EATING YOUR DATAZ!!!!!!
RAAAARGH HULK PANICKED AND FILLED PURPLE PANTS OUT OF FEAR!! HULK NEVER BEEN SO FRIGHTENED BEFORE. HULK LOGGED OUT AND RAN FOR HILLS. HULK COWERED IN GREEN BALL FOR REST OF DAY, IN OUT OF CHARACTER FEAR. HULK NOT LIKE HIS DATAZ BE EATEN!! HULK NOT EVEN KNOW HE HAD ANY!!
WHEN HULK GOT HOLD OF SELF, HULK CAME BACK TO COMPUTER. HULK REALIZED IT TIME FOR HULK TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HULK GOING TO DO IN A FWOOSHLESS WORLD. HULK CLUELESS. HULK WANDERED AIMLESSLY, NOT UNLIKE SEVENTIES SHOW, EXCEPT WITH LESS SAD MUSIC.
HULK GOT BRIEF JOB COMBING OUT BEARDED LADIES BEARD IN TRAVELLING CARNIVAL. YEAH…THAT NOT MAKE HULK FEEL FULFILLED. HULK MISSED GETTING QUESTIONS ASKED, MAKING HULK FEEL IMPORTANT. HULK GOT BENCH, GOT SIGN, WROTE "ASK HULK" ON IT. BUT NOBODY ASKED HULK ANYTHING. SO HULK STARTED ASKING HULK QUESTIONS. BUT IT NOT THE SAME.
BY THURSDAY, HULK WAS AS LOW AS HULK CAN GET. HULK STOP SHOWERING. HULK’S HAIR WAS UNCLEAN. HULK HAD NOT SO FRESH FEELING. HULK HAD SOMETHING IN HULK’S TEETH, BUT HULK NOT CARE.
HULK DID MANY THINGS TO PICK SELF UP. HULK WROTE LETTERS TO PEOPLE. HULK WATCHED TV. HULK READ BOOKS. HULK DIDN’T READ BOOKS. HULK LYING TO MAKE SELF SEEM SMARTER. HULK READ TV GUIDE.
FINALLY, THOUGH, FWOOSH REBUILT. HULK JOB BACK. HULK IMPORTANT AGAIN. AND NOW HULK HAVE JOB TO DO. HULK GONNA PULP HACKERS. HULK GONNA FIND NERDS WITH NO HOBBIES, AND HULK GONNA TWIST THEIR HEADS AROUND.
HEY, HACKERS!! HULK’S IN YOUR BRAIN, SCREWIN WITH YOUR DATAZ!!! HOW THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, HUH? HULK NOT WAIT UNTIL PUNY NERDS ARE SCREAMING DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!! HULK CAN’T WAIT UNTIL ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO HULK!!
INTERNET EXPRESSIONS ASIDE, HULK NOT WAIT UNTIL HACKERS ARE SCREAMING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS WHO SAT ON THUMBTACK. BECAUSE HULK IS COMING FOR YOU. HULK WILL BE IN YOUR CLOSET AT NIGHT. THAT SHADOW YOU SEE IN CORNER OF EYE. THAT HULK. THAT STRANGE NOISE THAT MAY BE CAT KNOCKING OVER TRASH CAN…THAT HULK. THAT BIG GREEN FIST KNOCKING YOUR HEAD OFF. THAT HULK. THAT GUY IN THE OVERSIZED COAT AND TOP HAT, WALKING INTO ADULT THEATER AT NIGHT, LOOKING AT EVERYONE WITH SHIFTY EYES…THAT NOT HULK. THAT COUSIN LOUIE. BUT HULK IS THE GUY BEHIND YOU AT ATM.
HACKERS MADE HULK ANGRY. AND NOBODY LIKE HULK WHEN HE’S ANGRY.
Ask Hulk: http://www.thefwoosh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=38657