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Secret Identities – Grimace404

i ask fwooshmember questions

they answer them


An interview with Chris or

man it’s hard to type this late.
–svp no function sleep well without.

So wanna do an interview?
–is this the interview? I’m confused. Maybe this is the pre-interview. Is this thing on?

How did you find th efwoos ?
–th efwoos? did you just have a mild seizure as you were trying to type ‘Fwoosh’? Jesus, man, say it loud and type it write–FWOOSH!!!

do you work at Kmart your location would say
"behind kmart smoking’ or something like that target maybe

–well, that was almost a sentence, but I think I get the question. If you’re asking if I work at Target because of the thing in my Location section, the answer is that I worked there for three years back in high school about ten years ago. It was my first job and I always took my smoke breaks back behind the building where I enjoyed smoking [EDITED FOR CONTENT].

im not an interview person as you can maybe tell.

–right now, I can’t even tell if English is your native language.

guessing you had a difficult first bit of life.?
but your attitude is better than most. Is that because
you already had all your hard times already and the difficult
things are behind you.

–have you been reading my journal? what makes you think that?

i don’t know why. my memory is good but selective.
thats pretty funny tho.

–Thanks, hope you don’t think I was trying to dodge the question, I’m just surprised that you picked up on that, not to mention surprised that anyone actually listens to anything I say, let alone remembers it like you did. You were right, though, I did have an…interesting…time growing up. My Mom and Step-Dad were ultra-religious and we moved around a lot because of it. I went to 12 different schools in three years just during Junior High/Middle School. Rough way to make friends, but I learned a lot about the world and myself. Also gave me a unique perspective on religion and how it can overtake people’s lives. Feel free to ask me about any of this if you really wish.

Are all the members of your family belonging to the same religion?

–No, my Mom was raised Presbyterian and my step-dad was Catholic. When they were doing they’re "missionary" work they associated with pretty much every different division of Christianity.

do you have two sets of family/friends? or did you just get out
and stay out?

–Moved in with my Grandfather my freshman year of high school for stability’s sake and stayed there until about a month before I graduated. Thank God for him. He was such a cool ‘Frank Sinatra’ kind of guy with this huge, epic life behind him. He really taught me how to be a normal person which I desperately needed after going through the whole mess with my Mom and step-dad for the previous four years.

There were kinda two sides to my family, though most of the ones on the side I still associated with have passed away now. Don’t really talk to Mom much anymore. We send letters back and forth, here and there. Things with her are complicated, to put it nicely.

God- all that makes it sound like I was molested or something, it wasn’t that bad, they were just ultra strict and religious. To the point that Mom threw out my comic collection because they depicted villains and I had to do stuff like pray the Rosary with them EVERY night and go to church services four or five times a week. They were…devout, to the Nth degree.

I have a theory where if you take one funny person and
put them in a room with another funny person they
negate each other and are unfunny together.

–Interesting theory. I definitely think the really funny people sometimes have more of an instinct to keep to themselves. It’s interesting hanging out at the comedy clubs and seeing the majority of comics either alone by themselves or only talking to the other people who’ve been there as long as they have.

How often do you get up on stage?
–About once a month right now. That’ll go up after it gets warmer outside in the spring and I can travel around a bit more.

whats the furthest you travel for a gig?
–About 10 minutes north. not that far yet.

favorite comedians or favorite style?
–How long ya got? OK, I’d say my main inspirations are George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Andy Kaufman, Conan O’Brien, and David Letterman (Right now I live in the same neighborhood that Letterman grew up in). I’m also a big fan of Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor, Mitch Hedberg, Chris Rock, Dane Cook, Zach Galifinakis, Patton Oswalt, and a huge fan of Eddie Izzard.

I saw sam kinison live all by my lonesome. like in a crowd but
no one i knew wanted to go so i just went by myself…

–I can’t believe no one else wanted to go. You need better friends. 

have you gone on stage enough times to not get the stage anxiety?
–Yeah, it’s not the ‘up on stage’ part that makes me nervous. It’s the ‘Is my stuff funny enough?’ that gets to me. The stage part doesn’t bother me. It’s mostly a bunch of people I’ll never see again, so what’s the big deal? That’s how I try to think of it.

what kind of music do you listen to?
–all kinds of stuff, really, but mainly underground hip-hop. Laid back, jazzy stuff like Tribe Called Quest, Common, Blackalicious, Pharcyde, DJ Dangermouse, The Roots, Lyric’s Born…I could keep going. And I love a good soundtrack. I highly recommend the soundtracks to any of Tarantino’s movies.

Is the 404 in your name a reference to the music machine?

–Not sure what the music machine is. You mean a synthesizer or something? To answer the question- the ‘404’ came to be as it was the first three digits of my pager number back when I got my first email account 7 or 8 years ago. I tried to use ‘Grimace’ by itself, but it was taken. After four or five attempts at other variations, I finally landed ‘Grimace404’ and I’ve been unhappy with it ever since.

So you collect ML?
I figure if you Fwoosh you collect.

–yeah, of course. I’ve collected them since the old clamshell/ML style packaged SMC figures first came out. It was at the time when I worked at FAO Schwarz downtown and I was in charge of the (take a guess) Action Figure section. Too bad they went out of business. That place did wonders for my collection.

I’m also into DC Direct/DCSH, Star Wars, Transformers (though I haven’t bought any TF’s in a while), and a super-huge, enormous fan of GI Joe. My ultimate dream job would be to write the GI Joe comic book.

Everyone is a GI Joe fan.. what am i missing?

–A LOT! One of the many reasons I love ‘Joe’ is because it blends so many different genres and has room for them all. Joe has had stories and characters that involve everything from realistic military action to ninjas to robots to evil genius mad scientists with equally evil mustaches they can twirl to motorcycle gangs to counter terrorist/ spy operations and everything in between. It has such a broad universe of characters and organizations that there’s something for just about everybody. Also- great villains, actually my favorite villains of any comic or cartoon universe.

do they actually kill like in a real war?

–In the comics, yes, but not usually in very big numbers like a real war. Most of the casualties are usually nameless ‘grunts’ or Cobra Troopers. Every once in a while, though, they’ll knock off a couple big names. If I was writing it, I’d probably handle it about the same way. You don’t wanna over-use the death card, but it’d be unrealistic if no one ever bought the enchilada.

what direction would you like to see legends go into?

–Well, of course, like everyone, I’d love to see Hasbro do more of what Toybiz did in they’re last year. I don’t even mean the look of the sculpts so much as just the general way Toybiz put out figures. Four or five waves a year, a few 2-packs to include some of the more obscure characters that wouldn’t get released on they’re own, and a boxset or two per year and I’d be ecstatic. I’d also love to see them stop doing movie figures in the ML line, but I know a decent number of people dig ’em, they’re just not my cup of tea.

anything on the wishlist?

–Darkhawk, Darkhawk, Darkhawk. He’s an old favorite of mine from when I was a kid. His was the first #1 issue I ever owned. I’d also love pretty much any villain I could get my grubby little mits on. I am the one that started the "Top 10 Obscure Villains" thread, after all.
What is it you do when you do what it is you want to do?
 –Actually, a usual shift for me is around 5-7 hours, so I have a bit more free time than most. I’m pretty much a bum really, though, spending the majority of my time at the house playing on the computer, writing/working on material, or absorbing a multitude of various movies, comics, and TV shows. I try to get out at least once a week, though, and usually wind up at this little bar by my house called The Mousetrap, a splendidly wretched little hive of scum and villainy, as Obi-Wan might put it

–By the way, I took the liberty of spell-checking your questions to clean it up a little.

Is that a joke?

–No, your spelling was atrocious, my friend, and there’s nothing funny about improper grammar. No worries, though, I have a handy program that makes it a snap to go through and correct that stuff. Free of charge! That, and I’m an anal-retentive bastard who can’t stand to look at spelling mistakes. I did it to try to retain that ever-slipping fingerhold I still have on my sanity.

so can you sub for me when i need off?

–Anytime, I’d be honored. Seriously, it sounds like fun and I like the part where I don’t have to work as hard as you will.
thank you Grimey!

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