With Hulk poised to smash box office records this summer in Avengers 2: Age of Ultron, its high time ol’ Green-skin’s greatest foes got the action figure treatment. What’s that? They’ve all been done already? Not a chance, True Believer!
10. The Collector
I know. When did Bea Arthur fight the Hulk? Turns out this silver citizen actually Taneleer Tivan, aka the Collector. Tivan is one of the Elders of the Universe: being an immortal, he’s grown attached to having stuff. Lots of stuff. And while most people with this problem end up on Hoarders, the Collector gets fabulous cape and a plum role in 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Where’s the justice? Anyway, Tivan “collected” the Hulk once. It ended badly for him. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t make a cool action figure. C’mon, Hasbro, we want to collect the Collector!
9. Psyklop
I’ll admit, I don’t know much about Psyklop, other than my granddad had one removed a few years back. It is a nasty-looking sucker: fangs, claws, one bug eye — how is this guy not an action figure yet? He’s a creepy-looking monster and kids and collectors love that sort of thing. With a nightmarish aesthetic and an arresting color-scheme, Psyklop would really stand out next to the Hulk on both the action figure shelf and the store pegs.
8. Xemnu the Titan
Xemnu looks more like an amusement park prize than a super villain, but that doesn’t make him any less dangerous. One of the Defenders’ earliest foes, Xemnu uses his remarkable strength and prodigious psionic abilities like telepathy, hypnosis and possession in his attempts to enslave the earth. This big vanilla wookie would be an easy retool using the old Wendigo body from Hasbro’s Hulk Classics and would add another heavy hitter to our toy shelves.
7. Zzzax
Mattel proved with its Chemo build-a-figure that clear molded plastic could be used to represent large, unconventional characters convincingly. There are a few Marvel characters would benefit from this treatment and Zzzax is at the top of the list. A being composed a living electricity, Zzzax has proven he can go toe-to-toe with the Hulk in the power department and has become a fan favorite in the years since his introduction. Characters like Zzzax are the reason that the Build-a-Figure concept exists. if Hasbro made him the BaF we’d all get a big charge out of it.
6. Red King
I have no particular attachment to the Red King, but ever since fans saw an image of the unreleased figure they’ve been clamoring for him. I say put him out — while the figure might not be up to par with some of the other Marvel Legends being sold at the moment, the fact that that a dedicated sculpt for this guy already exists means more cash for other figures in the line. And we can all agree, more figures means everybody wins.
5. Metal Master
I won’t lie to you. The best part of putting these lists together is getting to feature some of my personal favorite characters. Case in point: Metal Master. Some might argue he’s a “waste of a space” but the fact that this key player in Hulk history could be easily realized with existing tooling makes me want him even more. Getting the figure on the cheap means we might see a character-specific accessory: might I suggest the frighting-looking but ultimately harmless cardboard “gun” the Hulk created for their final showdown?
Oh, and we need a Teen Brigade. but that’s a whole other list.
4. Ringmaster
The Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime have been all over the Marvel Universe, but Hulk Legends would be a great place to release his figure. After all, he and ol’ Jade-jaw’s share the same color-scheme! More than that, he was one of the first costumed villains to appear, waaay back in The Incredible Hulk #3. You can’t buy that kind of pedigree, folks. Or those boots — believe me, I’ve tried.
3. Jack Mcgee
Okay, so Mister Mcgee here isn’t a villain per se. He’s an investigative reporter on the trail of the Hulk. Unlike the Iris Wests of today, Mcgee actually had to get off his duff to track down his story. He followed Bruce David Banner from one end of the country to another, hounding the desperate scientist to the breaking point. And while many of you might be crying foul at including a TV character on this list, I challenge you to name another character who has made the Hulk’s life as miserable. And don’t say General Ross, because he’s next.
2. General “Thunderbolt” Ross –
No, I’m not talking about the Red Hulk. Just between you and me, I think that’s a lame idea. One Hulk is enough — anything more dilutes the strength of the concept. More to the point, Thunderbolt Ross was already the perfect foil for the Hulk long before he pounded all of those gamma-enriched protein shakes. You don’t really need super powers when you’ve got the resources of the most militarized nation in the world at your beck and call. Its like making Dennis the Menace an unkillable cyborg from the future. It doesn’t really change the dynamic, it just messes up Mister Wilson’s garden faster. A regular, non-Hulked version General Ross figure in full uniform would be more than welcome.
2. Space Phantom
Silver Age comics get a bad rap these days. Today’s readers claim they are too simplistic, or reflect attitudes and ideals that are no longer acceptable in the 21st century. With any luck, a bunch of Space Phantoms will show up and replace those people. Jack Kirby was clearly firing on all cylinders when he created this guy. Part Aunt May and part Nosferatu, the Phantoms from Phantus (turns out there are a bunch of ’em) have such a distinctive visual identity that their design remains virtually unchanged to this day. Imagine half a dozen of these dudes skulking around your villains shelf — with their ability to look like anyone they’re the ultimate army builder!
1. Toad Men
Speaking of army builders, who wouldn’t want an army of toad men? (counts hands) Wow, that many of you? Well, that just means the rest of us will have to buy even more! Me, I’m pro-Toad Man. I’d buy ’em like Star Wars collectors buy Stormtroopers. Sell ’em three to a box alongside a new Ditko-styled Hulk (see #5, above) and the aforementioned Thunderbolt Ross and this would be a set worthy of the Collector. There. Brought it all back around.
Did the Man in the Anthill forget one of your favorites? Discuss the article on the Fwoosh forums!