This edition of Costume Contumely is dedicated to toy bloggers across the internet. Each day this tiny group of only a few thousand wages an uphill battle against the toy industry to both keep us informed and make our voices heard. Toy bloggers: For all you do, this column is for you.
Most of you will recall my first article at Fwoosh, some time ago, which took Mattel to task for their inclusion of a fake Cyclotron over the real Cyclotron in the DC Universe Classics line. That column provoked a direct response from Mattel lead designer Bill Benecke, defending the fake Cyclotron. Why do I bring this up today, so many months after the fact? Because it is a perfect example of the importance of toy bloggers. Those of us who have committed ourselves to running websites, message forums, and blogs dedicated to toys; that write regular columns and editorials, and provide news coverage from convention floors serve an incredibly important function in the collecting community. In one direction, we provide empowering information to the collecting community and in the other we act as a megaphone, making the voice of those collectors heard by the toy industry.
Last year I was in a gaggle of toy press covering an event at San Francisco’s Wonder Con. There were probably about fifty of us crammed into a small space, trying to hear the marketing rep’s announcement and shout our questions above the din. It was hot, close, smelly, and generally uncomfortable. A fellow member of the press turned to me and said, “Man, there are way too many internet toy sites.” Friends, I called him on the carpet right there in the Moscone Center. Too many toy sites? Did he perhaps think there were too many toys as well? I berated him so loudly and harshly that the focus of the crowd turned from the speaker’s podium back toward us. Of course security blamed me for creating a scene while the other guy got off scot-free. But I make no apologies. Even though I am supposedly banned from future Wizard World events (yeah-like they’re really going to check my badge), some things are worth taking a stand over.
Of course there are not too many toy sites. At present I would estimate there are about two or three hundred active sites dedicated to action figure toys, each with average of 2-6 writers or editors creating output. That is still a drop in the bucket compared to the overall number of news outlets across television, print, and the internet. I personally feel that number needs to at least double before we reach a level of coverage equitable to our sector. The fact that toy companies still treat us with general disdain is evidence enough that there are still too few toy sites. But that disdain has undeniably been lessened by the toy sites that do exist. If Mattel’s lead designer for DCU felt the need to respond to yours truly, then we must be getting somewhere. The importance of these precious few thousand or so bloggers cannot be over-estimated. We bear a tremendous burden of responsibility, and for my part it is a commitment take very seriously.
Of all those responsibilities, perhaps the most important is the review. Reviews are ubiquitous in every other form of business or entertainment. The movie industry could not survive without them. Broadway plays regularly live or die by their reviews. The tech media’s inexplicable love affair with Apple has launched that company into the stratosphere. Whether it’s cars, books, restaurants, or consumer products, reviews are essential for the industry and the consumer. Nowhere is that more true than with toys. Particularly with superhero/fantasy action figures.
So to help you discern between some of the many action figure reviewers out there, I would like offer a “Review of the Reviews”. I have selected twenty reviews for Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Classics Trap Jaw figure for this purpose. Originally I had selected 146 Trap Jaw reviews for my article, but VeeBee sent the piece back, saying that it was too long. “Can’t you just pick like 6?” I appealed to SamuRon but to no avail. “There are 146 reviews for Trap Jaw? Why? Most people are either going to buy him or not anyway. Narrow it down Cliff.” This is what I deal with at Fwoosh, folks. Philistines. So, I’ve selected these 20 reviews as a representative sampling of what’s out there.
FIGURES.COM Jeff Saylor 3/12
http://www.figures.com/forums/news/10096-mattel-motu-classics-trap-jaw.html#post51491
A short, straight-forward review. Mr. Saylor doesn’t go into great detail about the figure. There is a list of accessories, some pictures, (in package and posed), and not much else. That is, aside from some ‘humorously’ captioned images at the end.
GRADE C+ Covers the essentials with no frills.
FWOOSH FIRST LOOK VeeBee 1/12
http://www.thefwoosh.com/2010/01/first-look-masters-of-the-universe-classics-trap-jaw
Posted back on January 12th, it is a first look indeed. Fwoosh Editorial is often criticized (and rightly so!) for sucking up to toy companies for free review product. However, this is a good example of how that can work in the Fwoosh membership’s favor: A detailed review hitting weeks ahead of almost any other site. There are many excellent product pics including close ups, and figure shots from every angle. The package scans are a nice addition, and of course VB’s signature “Here’s an iconic drawing of the [MOTUC, DC, etc.] Universe where I Photoshop in the new figures as they become available” picture is always fun.
GRADE A- Excellently detailed and comprehensive review, but zero constructive criticism due to industry suck-up bias.
ITSALLTRUE.NET NoisyDvL5 3/2
http://www.itsalltrue.net/?p=4206
A solid review with good pictures. He covers a little of the character’s back story as well as his place in the current toy line. A link to info on Big Jim’s Iron Jaw is nice, as is the scale comparison pic. NoisyDvL is one of the few internet posters whose attempts at humor are actually funny. Also he isn’t afraid to not like something, which is refreshing. This write-up manages to cover most bases with an economy of words.
GRADE B+ I wish it was longer and went into more detail.
POE GHOSTAL’S POINTS OF ARTICULATION (presumably by Poe Ghostal) 2/25
http://www.poeghostal.com/2010/02/review-trap-jaw-masters-of-the-universe-classics-mattel.html
Poe beats most other sites to the punch, posting his review soon after Toy Fair. The write-up is well organized, demarking the article by aspects such as Sculpt, Paint, Quality Control, etc. Poe’s review is set apart by a solid overview of the history of Trap Jaw and his previous incarnations. The inclusion of a YouTube video of the original Trap Jaw TV commercial is a nice find and adds a great deal to the article.
GRADE A- Thorough review, written with passion. I wish there were more pictures and that they were full sized instead of clickable thumbnails.
TOMOPOP.COM Jason Millward 3/24
http://tomopop.com/tomopop-review-masters-of-the-universe-classics-trap-jaw-11736.phtml
Everyone’s a comedian. I assume Mr. Millward was unable to put his Trap Jaw order through (along with many other customers who dealt with a meltdown of Digital River that day). So instead of a regular review, he has posted a purely comical “review” of a “Trap Jaw” that is actually a Fisher Price Loving Family Dad & Sister. Most of you know by now how I feel about collectors who don’t take toys seriously. I’m sure there are those who thought Mr. Millward provided a “breath of air” with his snarky jab at Mattel and off-the-wall satire, “reminding us all that they are just toys, after all.” To those I say: “Collect With Respect”. There are enough brainless people out there disparaging our hobby without us taking shots at it from within.
GRADE F At long last, have you no sense of decency, Mr. Millward?
MANIA.COM Robert T. Trate 3/5
http://www.mania.com/motu-classic-trap-jaw-review_article_121014.html
A brief review that covers the particulars without a lot of new insight. Credit is given for being the only review to point out the new labeling on the white outer-sleeve box. There is some ambiguity when Mr. Trate describes the MOTUC subscription system. It seems he may be confusing a Club Eternia Monthly figure with a Club Eternia Exclusive figure. If not, his prose is unclear. A proofread may have been helpful in some places.
GRADE C+ A good, but not particularly special, review.
THE FWOOSH Ibentmymanthing 3/2
http://www.thefwoosh.com/2010/03/review-masters-of-the-universe-classics-trap-jaw
IBMMT’s trademark humor always adds a singular touch to his write-ups, but I admit I’m left wondering why Fwoosh needed a Trap Jaw “Review” in addition to their “First Look”. He does show off the figure’s articulation well in the photos (I like the .gif at the end), but for the most part there isn’t a lot of new info here. At least he does offer some good nitpicks.
GRADE B+ An entertaining, quality review, but does Fwoosh need two?
MILLIONAIREPLAYBOY.COM Mr. Stinkhead 2/17
http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/mpb/index.php/motuc-trapjaw/
Mr. Stinkhead is a MOTU 2002 fan and it shows. He makes no bones about his bias toward the previous line, and that isn’t necessarily a problem. However, this being his first experience with the new line does hamper his review in some respects. After spending a good deal of time griping about the price of MOTUC figures, he eventually admits they may be worth the price. In between letting us know how many times he has attended Toy Fair, how many industry people he’s spoken with and that he owns a Keldor signed by the Four Horsemen (POSTFU), he does a run-down on Trap Jaw. He is especially impressed with the figure’s articulation and durability and that’s what takes up the bulk of the article. Kudos to Mr. Stinkhead for being on the ball and getting his write up posted quickly. But his lack of experience with the Classics line leaves it a bit thin. I feel if Mr. Stinkhead were reviewing something he was more versed in, we would get a meatier write up.
GRADE C An average review.
ISITFUN.NET Wes GRogan 3/30
http://isitfun.net/?p=471
This review does a good job covering the essentials but doesn’t add much in the way of extras. However, it is one of the best written reviews I have seen. Mr. GRogan’s conversational style, command of syntax, punctuation, and composition alone make this an above average review. It’s also worth noting that although he likes this toy he is objective in his write up. It’s also one of the latest reviews posted.
GRADE B Well written, if basic, review.
PAST GENERATION TOYS BLOG Corey 3/9
http://pastgenerationtoys.blogspot.com/2010/03/review-masters-of-universe-classics.html
Three paragraphs and two pictures make for the briefest review I found. It’s mostly praise for a great figure, but not much in terms of actual review. At least the two pictures are clear and well lit.
GRADE C An average review
ARTICULATEDDISCUSSION.COM The Articulated One 3/4
http://www.articulateddiscussion.com/post/Review-Masters-of-the-Universe-Classics-Trap-Jaw.aspx
The Articulated One takes his reviews very seriously, as all collectors should. Of all the reviews I saw, this one had the most thought put into the layout. Very well organized and readable, with quality pics (including detailed diagram of articulation and close ups of accessories). I did wonder though about his listing of “Price: $30-$50”. Trap Jaw lists for $20, just like all the other MOTUC figures. Are these prices meant to include shipping? Or is it meant to reflect the “aftermarket”? If the former, it stands out as imprecise in an otherwise very precise article. If the latter, it seems a bit pretentious if not presumptuous, for a figure that most people didn’t even own yet. The Articulated One’s strength as a reviewer is also his weakness. This article is somewhat over written. I often complain about internet writers who lack basic language skills, and The Articulated One certainly has a solid skill set there. But it does result in tangents and diversions that seem to serve no other purpose than to allow him to squeeze in one more simile. I firmly believe that the best reviews showcase the toy, not the reviewer. The Articulated One sometimes blurs that line.
GRADE A- The effort put into this article pays off, but the writer comes off a little high on himself.
FIGUREPORTAL.COM author and date unknown
http://www.figureportal.com/reviews/review-masters-of-the-universe-classics-trapjaw
An organized, adequately written, basic review with a number of thumbnail pics. This author uses a somewhat complex star rating system weighted by category (for instance sculpt and articulation having more weight than accessories). It’s an odd system, but novel I suppose.
GRADE C+ Slightly above average. At least there’s some rhyme and reason to it.
MICHAEL CRAWFORD’S REVIEW OF THE WEEK Michael Crawford 3/3
http://www.mwctoys.com/REVIEW_030310a.htm
Well organized and highly readable, Mr. Crawford turns in a fine review. Several well composed pictures in a nice extra large size that I very much prefer to clickable thumbnails. Mr. Crawford doesn’t spend much time being “cute” with jokes in his writing or pictures; he’s all business. Some may find that humorless, but I like it. It makes for a very focused write up. He doesn’t gush and he doesn’t bitch. He simply reviews the toy.
GRADE A Some may want more personality in the writing, but you can’t say it isn’t a great article.
KASTOR’S KORNER Bill 2/22
http://kastorskorner.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=501&Itemid=40
This is a brief article made up mostly of praise, and the most general information about the toy. I do like that he has made good use of the pictures to show the articulation and detail of the accessories. It’s fairly well written albeit brief. Being one of the earlier reviews posted is also in its favor.
GRADE B- Better than average.
DORK DIMENSION author unknown 2/27
http://www.dorkdimension.com/2010/02/toy-review-motuc-trap-jaw.html
Another very economical write up. Very brief but well written. Not a lot of pictures but they cover everything I need to see.
GRADE B- Average in length and scope, but executed well enough rise slightly above.
ACTION FIGURE PICTURES (AFP) Sandman21xxi 3/5
http://www.actionfigurepics.com/2010/03/masters-of-the-universe-classics-trap-jaw
Living up to the name of the site, this review offers a remarkable amount of quality pictures. The mix between full size and clickable thumbnails is welcome too. Sandman doesn’t go into tremendous detail in the text, but with this many great pics, he really doesn’t need to add much. In his well composed and well lit photos we get to see everything we need to see about the toy (articulation demonstrated, accessories, etc.) as well as some great dioramas and action scenes.
GRADE B+ It’s heavy on pictures over writing, but the pictures are fantastic. And after all, pics are what the site is about.
COOL TOY REVIEW Dan Curto (post not dated)
http://www.cooltoyreview.com/Mattel_MOTUC_Trapjaw.asp
Speaking of being heavy on pics, this review is almost solely pictures. There is a brief paragraph to introduce the character and then several dozen pictures. The pictures are nice but they are utilitarian; demonstrating everything they can about the figure, but nothing more.
GRADE B- Great pictures but feels empty without a little more context.
PENDRAGON’S POST Patrick Garone 2/20
http://pendragonspost.blogspot.com/2010/02/toy-review-masters-of-universe-classics_20.html
Posted early, fairly well written, and nothing like the gush-fest that most reviews are. I question the writer’s opinion at times (figure is “too retro” “too cartoony”?; this is the MOTUC line), but that’s subjective. Everything I can objectively critique about this review is perfectly adequate, but not extraordinary. There are a good number of pictures, but their lighting and composition could be a little better. (And no package pics at all)
GRADE B-/C+ Above average, but could be better.
GAY COMIC GEEK (via YouTube) The Gay Comic Geek 2/25
http://www.youtube.com/user/GayComicGeek#p/u/26/_uJhncI9I3o
One of two video reviews I selected. A video review provides for a lot of opportunities not available in a standard, written review. But it is also laden with traps. Gay Comic Geek takes advantage of the medium by giving us the best background piece on the character by far; complete with video clips from the cartoon and scans from the comic history, all over his narration. But when it comes time for the actual figure review, I wish the video was better lit! It’s sometimes difficult to see a lot of the detail. It is nice to be able to see articulation and accessories demonstrated but at certain points GCG’s own hands block our view.
GRADE B Difficult to grade against standard reviews, but it is good for what it is.
THE POP CULTURE NETWORK (in association with He-Man.org, via Blip TV) Pixel Dan Eardley 1/13
http://www.blip.tv/file/3084363
For the first half of this review I could not understand why it was done on video. The shots were well lit and composed; I could see the figure well. But they were all completely static shots. There was literally nothing that couldn’t have been served just as well by a standard, written review with pictures. Then halfway through, it shifts to Pixel Dan demonstrating the figure. And wouldn’t you know it- we’re back to shady lighting that was my criticism of the other video review (although Pixel Dan does a slightly better job of keeping his hands out of the way of the shot). Incidentally, this is the only review I found to come close to Fwoosh in terms of timeliness, being posted only a day after Fwoosh’s First Look.
GRADE B+ It’s a fine review, but I feel if it’s going to be a video, it should take more advantage of the possibilities afforded by the medium.
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I hope you will all take a moment today to honor all of these reviewers, and the tens of thousands of others, who sacrifice their blood and treasure to bring us this important info every day. These folks are the thin line of code between us and mercenaries of the toy industry. Without them we would be left completely in the dark and at the mercy of people like Jeff Labovitz and P.J. Lewis.
Cliff
(Keep on bloggin’)
To read previous installments of Costume Contumely, click here.
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