Few authors are as intimately linked to their creations as 20th century fantasist H.P. Lovecraft. In the 70+ years since his death, the author and his body of work have become inexorably bound in the eyes of pop culture. Reinforced by the choice to tell his weird tales in the first person and bolstered by the inclusions of details from his own life and times, fact and fiction blur now together, making it hard to say where the man ends and his eldritch legacy begins.
A native of Providence, Rhode Island, Lovecraft’s preoccupation with astronomy, genealogy, and popular science as a child informed his later works, giving his stories of cosmic horror a credible, almost hysterically sober backdrop to unfold against. While commercial success eluded him in life, Lovecraft’s work has since garnered both critical and popular acclaim. His tales have been adapted for television, cinema, radio plays, role-playing games… pretty much everything but action figures. Here are ten H.P. Lovecraft creations that would make amazing toys!
10. Keziah Mason & Brown Jenkin
In 1692, at the height of the Salem Witch Trials, an old woman by the name of Keziah Mason confessed to having signed her name in the Black Book of Azathoth, entering into His eternal service. Sentenced to burn for her crimes, Keziah mysteriously escaped her jail cell and was never seen by her captors again. With her blood-fed familiar, the rat-like Brown Jenkin, she menaces physics student Walter Gilman with the secrets of inter-dimensional travel. Keziah is the classic witch archetype in appearance, with her “bent back, long nose, and shriveled chin.” Pack her action figure alongside her familiar Brown Jenkin and a copy of the Black Book of Azathoth and let the witchery begin!
9. Pickman’s Model — Pickman’s Model
“Only the real artist knows the actual anatomy of the terrible or the physiology of fear — the exact sort of lines and proportions that connect up with latent instincts or hereditary memories of fright, and the proper colour contrasts and lighting effects to stir the dormant sense of strangeness.” So spoke artist Richard Upton Pickman, but the words could have been uttered by Lovecraft himself. In his often-cited essay Supernatural Horror in Literature, Lovecraft goes on at length about the importance of location, mood, and general ambiance in the creation of horror fiction. This is ably illustrated in “Pickman’s Model,” the tale of an artist who takes extreme measures to find subject-matter for his horrific paintings. Creepy monster = cool toy. Movin’ on…
8. Lavinia Whateley and her twins — The Dunwich Horror
According to our narrator, Lavinia is “a lone creature given to wandering amidst thunderstorms in the hills and trying to read the great odorous books which her father had inherited through two centuries of Whateleys.” In other words, she’s an Emo chick. All of Lavinia’s singing and carousing in the dark hills outside of Dunwich attracted the attention of extra-dimensional baby-daddy Yog Sothoth, and the two commenced to bump uglies — literally. The result of their union was two children, one dark and goat-like, the other blissfully invisible. Her role in the process fulfilled, Lavinia was eventually sacrificed by her son to his father, which is all kinds of screwed up. An action figure of young Lavinia with her two bundles (one a goat-faced baby, one seemingly empty) would be choice.
7. Wilbur Whateley — The Dunwich Horror
Wilbur was an unusually precocious child. He developed rapidly through his infancy. At seven months old he could walk, and within a year of his birth he could speak fluently. Wilbur at three looked like a child of ten, and displayed all of the physical characteristics of a full-grown adult by age seven. But early puberty was just one of the perks of being Yog-Sothoth’s boy. Below the belt Wilbur Whateley resembles the classic chimera of myth, goatish, partly reptilian, but with classically Lovecraftian flourishes like “coarse black fur,” “leathery, reticulated hide,” or the “score of long greenish-grey tentacles with red sucking mouths…” If this thing wasn’t born to be on my action figure shelf, I’ll turn in my gun and Froosh membership.
6. Herbert West & Company — Herbert West, Re-Animator
The MVP of Miskatonic U., Herbert West is one of Lovecraft’s best-known creations thanks to Stuart Gordon’s 1985 splatterfest Re-Animator. While there are obviously some notable differences between the story and film, the particulars remain the same: armed with his miracle re-agent, medical student Herbert West sets about raising the dead, with hilarious results. This one has it all, folks: mad science, proto-zombies, and just enough of that Lovecraftian weirdness to make a stunning action figure set. Make a note of it, Dan!
5. Doctor Muñoz — Cool Air
We’ve all seen the lengths people will take to look good past their prime, but Doctor Muñoz here takes the cake. Afflicted by a mysterious condition, the Doctor is a virtual prisoner within his climate-controlled apartment. An “ammonia-based refrigeration system” runs around the clock, keeping the room at a consistent 56 degrees. Our narrator is struck by the Doctor’s curious plight and begins to spend time with him. One night, the refrigeration system breaks down and the two desperate men are unable to prevent the inevitable:
Yikes! You know that’s gotta sting. Turns out the good doctor had been dead for almost twenty years, and the sudden shift in temperature has caused him to liquefy. Bring the paper towels! A hooded Muñoz with a removable cowl to reveal his skeletal visage would make a brilliant addition to the line.
4. Abdul Alhazred
Known as the Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred was the 7th century necromancer who authored the malign text al Azif, which the world would come to call the Necronomicon. To quote Lovecraft on the matter: “Of his final death or disappearance (738 A.D.) many terrible and conflicting things are told. He is said by Ibn Khallikan (13th century biographer) to have been seized by an invisible monster in broad daylight and devoured horribly before a large number of fright-frozen witnesses.” Obviously, the figure would need to feature a copy of the Necronomicon, as well as removable limbs to recreate his stunning death.
3. The Deep Ones — The Shadow Over Innsmouth
On a sightseeing tour of New England, Robert Olmstead is detoured to the decayed seaport town of Innsmouth. While exploring the town Olmstead stumbles upon the Esoteric Order of Dagon, whose members worship (and interbreed with!) grotesque aquatic creatures known as the Deep Ones. Discovering he is more or less a prisoner in his hotel room, Olmstead enacts a daring midnight escape, making it to the edge of town before passing out. (Lovecraft’s protagonists faint a lot.) Upon waking, he makes his way back home, where he discovers genealogical information linking him to the monstrous beings of the the town he just escaped. The Shadow Over Innsmouth remains one of Lovecraft’s most compelling tales, and the bulgy eyed, mutant Deep Ones would make stellar action figures.
2. Our Narrator — every story.
Howard Phillips Lovecraft was his own greatest creation. For good or ill, Lovecraft’s identity is now synonymous with his writings. With so little distinction in the eyes of the general public and with the need to have at least one “normal” human character to root the the line, a mini-HPL is the perfect choice. With his protagonist’s features often left intentionally vague and Lovecraft’s own predilection for wearing period clothing, a figure of the author would be a perfect stand-in for Randolph Carter, Robert Olmstead, or a dozen others. Edger Allen Poe received a figure ten years ago from Archie McPhee, so it’s high time HPL got his due.
1. Cthulhu – The Call of Cthulhu
The Big Guy himself. Thanks to decades of homage, tribute, or outright ripoff, the Big C is only steps behind the Universal Monsters in the pop culture rankings. Unfortunately, due to Lovecraft’s heirs allowing the author’s creations to fall into public domain, Cthulhu and company aren’t nearly as well protected as the Universal gang. Thanks to current laws anyone can write fiction using these characters, scenarios, and mythology, which has led to a glut of uninspired trash. Baby plush Cthulhu, anyone? A line of decent action figures bearing his name and likeness might help turn the tide for this Great Old One. Make him the collect-and-connect figure for maximum bigness and we have ourselves a winner.
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