Some properties are so toyetic that it’s practically a crime that the depths of their characters haven’t been plundered for super-articulated figures. For instance, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is clearly one of those perennial favorites that continues to get renewed action figure interest year after year. It combines the perfect storm ingredients of quirkiness, color, weird villains, and great designs into a tastes great combination that screams “purchase me.”
To me The Tick is every bit as toyriffic as TMNT, but for some reason they don’t seem to have the same amount of luck. Oh, there have been attempts over the years, of course. They had a brief toy line that accompanied the excellent ’90s animated series, and they had an even briefer toy line that accompanied their blink-and-you-missed-it live action series. And even more recently there have been a handful of figures “released” under the Shocker Toys imprint. I use quotes around the word “released” because, as with anything related to Shocker toys, there have been issues getting those toys into the vast majority of Tick-fan hands. And even with that, there is no real shot at getting an expansive representation of the Tick Universe.
What we need is not just a Tick bone tossed at us. We need a fully dedicated line that comprehensively digs into the vast and funky catalog of Tick characters. I’m imagining a line that features not only a perfect representation of the Tick himself, but all his friends, and all his villains. And this line pulls from every media venture the Tick has found himself in. Not only does this phantom line feature a perfect 3D translation of comic book Tick, but it also features a Patrick Warburton-styled Tick as well, along with his Fox entourage. There could be separate paint techniques to identify a comic version and a cartoon version of Tick, along with a black and white version to represent the Tick’s roots, much like NECA’s excellent black and White Turtles
Arthur is, of course, an essential component to this endeavor, but the Tick has plenty of friends and enemies to provide line fodder. There’s Die Fledermaus along with his live action counterpart Batmanuel. American Maid and her live action counterpart Captain Liberty fill the female role nicely.
Paul the Samurai (with sword hidden in a piece of bread) and Man-eating cow are probably the most recognizable heroes next to the main group, but the list extends to the Civic-Minded Five, The Caped Wonder, Barry… there’s a lot.
And that’s only the heroes!
How awesome would some of the Tick villains be? Is your life complete without an action figure with a chair for a head? No, it’s not complete at all. Chairface Chippendale is fairly representative of the type of weird villains that exist in the Tick Universe, and I love them all. If you mine both the comic and cartoon, this line would have enough legs to keep pumping out waves for quite a while.
It’s worth it all just to get a figure where the name on the package is “The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight.”
It’s a damn shame that this strange little universe doesn’t have adequate representation when it’s practically overflowing with unique characters that would, without question, make kick-butt figures. The truth is, toy lines die off at an alarming rate, sometimes without recognizing their true potential. The previously mentioned NECA Turtles and the recent aborted Thundercats line are proof of this. But they leave shadows of what could have been. Tick just needs a shot I think even people unfamiliar with the property would be helpless to resist the great figures that could be created, and like all good toy lines, it could build itself into something great. It could be the Greatest Toys Never Made.