If you subscribe to the notion that trends in pop culture can say something about the people of the time, then who knows what to read into the recent trend of “big monsters wrecking crap.” From 2008’s Cloverfield to the more recent Pacific Rim and Godzilla, it’s clear that we like it when giant monsters crush people. Well, the ’80s have a toyline that’s just perfect for this trend: Inhumanoids.
The Inhumanoids was yet another blink-and-you’ll-miss-it ’80s property that managed to eke out a comic, cartoon and toyline before being buried underneath the more popular properties of the time. With Centurions and Inhumanoids, I’m beginning to wonder if these concepts might have been ahead of their time. The world just wasn’t ready for armored dudes fighting giant havoc-wreaking monsters. But we might be now.
In a strange twist, the Inhumanoids themselves were the villains of the line, which is like naming Transformers “The Decepticons” or GI Joe “Cobra.”
Much like the Centurions of my previous article, I didn’t collect any of this line either, though I did watch the short-lived cartoon. I actually liked the animation style of the cartoon a lot; there were a lot of shadows and depth, and there was a surprising amount of near-horror elements for an ’80s cartoon. When you’ve got monsters roaming around I guess you can’t half-ass certain things.
Fun Fact: the appearance of Hector Ramirez firmly roots Inhumanoids in the world of the GI Joe cartoon, which was also connected to Transformers.
So D’Compose versus Optimus Prime is totally canon-approved, if you need such permission!
The line was comprised of three different elements, each of which would make a great action figure line if brought into the 21st Century. For the good guys, we have Earth Force, a group scientists wearing oddly spherical armor, each with it’s own unique specialty.
Toys in the ’80s needed guys with specialties. If you didn’t have that, you just didn’t have a toy line. Their armor design was indeed quite odd, but also unique and cool looking, and looks like the type of armor you’d need to go up against wacked-out creatures.
Then we have the monster allies of Earth Force: sentient trees called (duh) Redwoods and sentient rock people called Granites. OK so their names weren’t exactly the biggest reaches around, but sentient rock people and tree people would make cool toys for sure.
The final element is the Inhumanoids themselves: D’Compose, Metlar, and Tendril, joined by Sslither and Gagoyle (yes, Gagoyle, no r).
The Inhumanoids are creepy designs and would make excellent large-scale toys if fused with today’s top-notch sculpting. Their original toys, like many toys of the time, weren’t the most award-winning of things, but the designs themselves from both comic and cartoon, if translated properly, would make for some great toys.
I can probably see the humans having to be in the 4-inch scale to accommodate the larger monsters, but that would probably be OK. Well, OK for some, a travesty for others, I’m sure, but that’s toys. I think having the humans fit in scale-wise with GI Joe would actually make for some cool cross-property team-ups, and having some Joes fighting Tendril or Metlar would make it all worthwhile. Yet another fun fact: D’compose was voiced by Cobra Commander/Starscream vocal talent Chris Latta. Imagine being in the room when those three meet. Pass the lozenges.
When you dig into the richness of the properties that were produced in the ’80s, you start finding this undeniable well of awesome that made the toy aisles fatter than they have been before or since. It’s a shame that some properties flamed out a little too quickly, buried beneath an avalanche of plastic. All many of them need is another chance, and I’d love to see Inhumanoids make a comeback. I promise I’d buy it this time around.