This week anger-laden week in review is brought to you by the number “grrr” and the letter “arrrgh”:
In the Microverse:
Remember those threads where people bitch about their scale being better than other scales, or Hasbro being the most evil coporation in the world, or everybody being really douchey and arguing with everybody else? EVERY THREAD SEEMED TO BE LIKE THAT THIS WEEK. Seriously. The complainers and the defenders are all equally annoying. Every one of you needs to go play with toys. I’ve heard it’s supposed to be calming. Unless you’re RIPPING THEM IN HALF BECAUSE THAT GUY PARKED HIS CAR IN YOUR LIVING ROOM!! I hate when that happens. Left means left, right means right. GRRR!!! ANGERS UP BLOOD!!! WHY MAILMAN CRUSH BOX!! WHY NEWSPAPER PRINT SNUFFY SMITH TWICE!! THAT MEAN I NO HAVE DILBERT ARRRGH!!
Some of you, and by some of you I mean all of you, are just too angry to collect toys. YOu need to focus on another hobby. Try knitting. But if they changed your yarn to a smaller scale you’d probably end up stabbing all the other elderly women at your weekly Knitters Association Meeting and then making a big sock and then knitting yourself into it. NEW YARN NOT LIKE OLD YARN I KILL YOU ARRRGH!!! GRR!!1 ARRRGH!!! MY TOYS NOT KIDS TOYS LIKE YOUR TOYS!!
In other news…
Toyfair is coming up next weekend. Many fwooshers are awaiting much newso about their favorite line. I’m going to build myself a nice little bunker in my brain, turn on the television, and rest there a while, before the bile starts slinging.
Ahhh…there we go. Oh, it’s that episode of Different Strokes where Arnold gets beat up by “the Gooch”.
Bwahahaha…”the Gooch.”
In the Multiverse:
Remember those threads where good news about a new wave full of figures turns into a bunch of people actually complaining that they don’t know who some figure is and spending page after page wondering why they don’t have a Martian Manhunter yet? Yeah, I don’t care about those threads either. But we’re getting Kamandi!! In series 14. Along with Hourman, Tyr (making the anti-Super Powers crowd ANGRY GRRR ARRRGH!!! I’M FORCED TO NOT BUY A TOY!!!) Gold (Another Metal Man. Farkin’ awesome) Alan Stewart Green Lantern, Zatanna Obsidian with a C&C Ultra Humanite.
Now at the same time people are complaining about not liking the lineup, they’re also complaining about the high prices. Well in mathematical terms we call that “cancelling each other out.” Mattel just saved you money.
You know, it just occurred to me I haven’t heard the term “pwn” in a while. Burn a word in effigy enough and it goes away.
Anyway…you, you and you. And the rest of you. Be happy. Stop complaining. Or I will pull this internet over.
Wave 14 will be a Wal-mart wave.
That made folks happy.
Time to go back to my bunker.
Oh look it’s that episode of Facts of Life where Blair gets in an accident and almost dies. And she gets all scarred up. Damn, tv is violent.
KAMANDI! GOLD! Woo. Hoo. Oh, and Grr. And have an Arrgh while we’re at it.
In the Expanded Universe:
IS TRAP JAW HERE YET?? WHAT!!! I HAVEN’T EVEN ORDERED IT YET!! Longass month.
In the Bar With No Name:
Guardian Devil is back. After two years. And he promptly left the toilet seat up. Also, Popo is cheating at math!! I’m watchinG you Popo. I’m…in your bushes. Mostly because I took train A traveling 50 miles per hour in a southeasterly direction. I ended up in your bushes, scared and hungry. Please toss out a sammich. Thank you.
Wadsworth and many fwooshers are sick of some words. I punch a dictionary. It’s how I get such strong knuckles. Pugilistic fury!!
In the Multiplex:
Captain America’s going to sing and dance in his movie. Or something like that. I don’t know. Hollywood…just don’t screw up. Just….Just don’t.
In conclusion, I love you all. Most of you. Some of you. Ok, I’d sell you all to pirates for spare change. But it’s the thought that counts.
Remember Blow-Pops? Do they still sell those?
Hehehe…blow-pop.
I mean…GRR!! ARRGH!!!
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