A core cast of mainstays surrounded by a huge cast of supporting characters — sounds like the perfect recipe for a toy line.
They’re not comic book stars or action movie stars, they don’t have the cool kitsch of being in a cartoon, but there’s something about Seinfeld that would make a fun 6-inch scale toy line — super-articulated toy line, that is; these toys would need the full complement of posablility in order to wring out all the cool. They can’t sit at the diner without all the proper articulation or sit on Jerry’s couch or… well, there’s a lot of sitting. Some standing. Kramer can’t be posed half in and half out of Jerry’s door in a wild pose without all the articulation of a ninja, after all.
Play sets sold separately.
The potential is there. The four main cast members can be released in multiple variations to keep the so-called big names out there. In addition to a regular look for each of them, who wouldn’t want a puffy shirt Jerry?
How about Gore-Tex George?
Kramer wearing the technicolor dreamcoat with pimp hat and cane? Exactly. The core four have plenty of recognizable variants that the toy companies just love.
Except for Elaine’s hair, there was a consistency among the four that was almost costume-like. Put George in his cheap shoes and hand-me-down-looking clothes, Kramer in his rumpled retro fashion statement, and Jerry in something immaculately tucked in, and you’ve got an adequate representation of the men. Elaine could have an early years/later years thing going on, with the hair to match. Plenty of options for plenty of scenarios.
And then there’s the rest of the cast. First and foremost would be Jerry’s eternal nemesis Newman. Hell, depending on the season, Newman could serve as the build-a-figure because the dude looked like he was about to explode when he was at his heaviest.
Fat Newman and slightly less fat Newman could be completely separate offerings. I just need some Newman on the shelf.
Kramer’s occasional “little person” companion Mickey would make a great figure. How awesome would it be to have him attack George for calling him a midget? I know, right?
Jerry’s other nemesis Bania showed up enough to warrant a figure of his own. With Armani suit accessory. Ovaltine! And what about Jackie Chiles? Who told you to put the balm on? Did I tell you to put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on?
Then there’s the parents. Fred and Estelle would make the most annoying toys ever. And Jerry’s parents would make great foils for the Costanzas. And Uncle Leo!
Hell, I’d buy a Jack Klompus. Because the pen writes upside down!
Good lord, a lot of these people are dead…
Speaking of dead, we’d need George’s dead wife Susan. She should come with some cheap envelopes. Jerry had way too many girlfriends for him to get a significant other, so he’ll have to be happy with George. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Elaine will definitely need a David Puddy figure, as played by the incomparably stone-faced Patrick Warburton.
Yeah, that’s right.
Speaking of people connected to Elaine, there could be a special “Elaine’s bosses” set, including Mr. Pitt, Mr. Lippman, and J. Peterman. George had a few memorable bosses as well, including Mr. Krueger (I’m not too worried about it) and George Steinbrenner himself. No clue how to pull that one off…
And then there’s the smaller characters who might have only made one or two appearances. The soup Nazi would be at the top of that list, leaving an indelible impression and a catch phrase that is like a juggernaut rolling across the land. No soup for you! Then there’s Babu Bhatt. And Poppie, the man who peed on sofas. What about Bob Cobb? You know, the Maestro! Have I lost you yet? Because I’d buy all of these.
There is a lot of potential for a lot of fun toys here. I haven’t even mentioned the amount of accessories that they could come with. A box of cereal and a Superman statue for Jerry. A box of cigars for Kramer. A box of busted-up golf clubs for Elaine to give to Peterman. Hell, there’s so much I’m probably forgetting that you should let me know what you’d like to see. Maybe Kramer can come with a cardboard box with a discount air-conditioner in it. Does George need an alternate head with a wig? Or an alternate head wearing women’s glasses? Maybe he does.
Maybe he does indeed.
